T'was the night before Halloween

T'was the night before Halloween and all through the haunt
All my signs were a-glowing with a creepy, green font;
The crank-ghosts were hung by the blacklights with care,
In hopes that patrons and TOT's would all get a scare;
My cohorts were nestled at home in their beds,
With visions of corpses who danced without heads;
Count Drac in his coffin, and I in my chair,
Had just settled down at the TV to stare,
When out in the graveyard there arose such a clatter
I sprang through the webs to see what was the matter!
Away past the strobe light--I flew like it's flash,
I rushed past my corpses and my extra bone stash.

The spotlight in front of the graves in a row,
gave the lustre of moonlight to objects below;
When what to my fog-covered eyes should appear--
But a ghost-apparition with goblin-like ears!
My best jack-o-lantern he picked up and threw
and I knew in a second what he intended to do.

His bloodshot eyes twinkled, his nose was all hairy;
His hands were all gnarled, his countenance scary!
His hideous mouth was drawn up in a scowl;
His deathshroud was white as a cheap hotel towel.
Electrical clippers he held in his rotten old teeth,
and my wiring encircled his neck like a wreath.

He had a really big gut, 'bout the size of a train,
That flobbed when he walked like a big Jello Brain.
He was stumbling and mumbling curse words to himself,
And I gasped when I saw him, in spite of myself.
But the gait of his step and the size of his head
Told me t'was not the Boogeyman, but my neighbor instead.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
Filled up his wheelbarrow, (Oh Man, what a jerk!)
Then for spite he picked up my fence, (which he bent!)
Tossed it atop of his load and down the driveway he went.

Unsuspectingly, past my Trash-Can-Terror he strolled;
I reached around numbly, my fingers were cold.
I then threw the switch in that dank, dark black void,
And it fired right up (what a good selenoid!)
What he did I could only just guess by the smell,
But he dropped all my loot and then damned me to hell.
And I heard him exclaim as he ran out of sight...

--Melissa