Obi-Wan was suddenly struck by the silence in the room as their breathing returned to normal. He gently pulled out of Qui-Gon and literally lifted him out of his prone position to lay him on his side. He untied Qui-Gon's wrists, removed the blindfold, and began gently cleaning Qui-Gon's genitals with a soft, damp cloth he'd brought earlier. He winced when he drew the cloth between his Master's cheeks and it came away with a small red stain as well as semen. He couldn't look at Qui-Gon's face. "Master, I'm going to apply some ointment to your back," he said softly.
Qui-Gon reached out and caught his wrist. "Thank, you."
"For what, Master? I *hurt* you."
Qui-Gon drew him by his wrist slowly back down onto the bed and took his face in his hands. Obi-Wan kissed at the hands that touched him, sighed, and finally lifted his eyes to his Master's. Qui-Gon's face was stained with dry tears, but his eyes were very blue and looked peaceful.
"I'll be fine. I know we've never had an experience like that, and I want to be sure *you* are all right."
Obi-Wan looked somewhat abashed. "I somehow knew what you wanted, and what to do. I just don't understand how I knew -- or why it helped you."
Qui-Gon pulled his hands back and propped up his head. "We're close, Obi-Wan, and growing closer all the time. I think we've developed a kind of emotive bond -- I've seen it before in other Force sensitives."
"You mean we can read each other's emotions?"
"In a way. You knew what to do for me even though you didn't understand the source of my distress."
"And what is that source, Qui-Gon? The mission went well..."
"Not to me." Softly. "They all looked to us to solve their problems, but their problems couldn't be solved without sacrificing innocent beings. The trust both the Magistrates and the Clasaac leaders had in us -- in *me* -- was implicit and total. That's not normally the reaction we get in tense political negotiations."
Obi-Wan nodded, recalling situations where they were treated with open hostility, even on Republic worlds.
"I did my best, and it wasn't good enough. It won't be long before the volcanoes erupt and Republic engineers act to divert the lava flows away from the Capital, toward Tribal lands. The Clasaac Tribes will have to implement their part of the agreement with the Magistrates and leave their lands.
"But the fourth Clasaac Tribe will never acknowledge the agreement; they will never move from the High Plains. When the planet's geothermal structure is changed and the volcanoes whose slopes they live and farm erupt, they will stay where they are and they will die."
"What? But Master, all five of the Tribes agreed to relocate before the eruptions! Diverting the eruptions onto their lands will save Thessel's mining industry..."
"An industry of prime importance to the Trade Federation and the Senate which is why we were sent..."
"...AND will save the most populous city on the planet, Master. In exchange for sacrificing their homes and farmland, the Clasaac Tribes will receive a percentage of the Trilium mine's profits in perpetuity and equivalent amounts of land to the south. Isn't that compensation enough for them?"
Obi-Wan felt a growing panic when his Master said nothing. Finally, Qui-Gon spoke. "The fourth Tribe will never leave the area, Obi-Wan. They consider the land they farm to be sacred."
"But...they signed the agreement. How do you know?"
"The Tribes voted privately as one, and their Great Leader signed for them all. After the signing ceremony, I asked the fourth Tribe's leader where she planned to move. She merely smiled at me, but at that moment I *knew* she would not leave. She may be Force sensitive; I am not sure. I do know she has no intention of moving, and her people will not disobey her..."
Qui-Gon's head sagged and he swallowed hard.
"What did you do, Master?"
"I informed the Magistrates and the Great Leader. The Magistrates were shocked, and I don't think they believed me. Even if they did, they would never adjust the agreement. Remember, we were brought in because the Magistrates were willing to divert the flow without any negotiation at all.
The Great Leader knew, but he will do nothing." Softly, "And I did nothing."
Obi-Wan sat, his face knit in frustration and thought.
"Master, there was nothing you *could* do. They are all aware of what is to happen - surely it is their choice? You know the Code does not allow us to interfere if that is truly their choice."
"They will not allow their children to leave either, Obi-Wan, and so they will also die."
Qui-Gon saw the memory again in his mind's eye:
///The small girl accompanied her mother to all meetings, sitting at a table almost too high for her to see over, trying not to fidget. Every morning when he and Obi-Wan arrived in the large chamber selected for negotiations, she would slip from her seat and present them both with a single Mocaar flower. One day, during a break in the proceedings, Qui-Gon approached her and carefully bowed -- she was the fourth Clasaac leader's heir -- and then knelt down to her level.
"These flowers are lovely, young lady. Tell me, why do you honor my apprentice and me with them each day?"
The girl smiled and blushed, but after a glance from her stern-countenanced mother she quickly regained her composure.
"You are honored guests to our sacred homeland. We show our respect by giving of the bounty of these lands," the girl responded by rote.
"Well, I thank you then. The flowers are almost as pretty as the giver." Qui-Gon replied, and winked at her too-serious face. This elicited a smile and a soft giggle, quickly quelled. Qui-Gon stood, bowed and walked away.///
Obi-Wan's voice interrupted him from his reverie.
"And so you needed to punish yourself?"
"I can't really explain it, Obi-Wan, but I do feel better, yes. Absolved."
Obi-Wan just shook his head and applied the disinfecting ointment to Qui-Gon's back. He then touched the first of the now-bruising welts and began centering himself for a Healing.
"No, Obi-Wan. Thank you, but I want them to heal normally."
Obi-Wan obeyed. He lay back down beside Qui-Gon, folded his hands behind his head and stared intently at the ceiling. Qui-Gon knew he was troubled, and also knew at least part of the reason why, but decided to wait him out.
After a moment, "I...didn't hate it -- my role in helping you with this."
Qui-Gon smiled and reached down to stroke a still-booted leg. "I could tell."
Obi-Wan sighed and closed his eyes.
"Obi-Wan, I'm not accusing you. The last thing I want is distance between us over this. I am very glad to know that what I asked for brought you satisfaction."
A small smile and Obi-Wan turned on his side to face Qui-Gon. "I might ask you to do the same for me some day."
"No."
"Master?"
"Obi-Wan, that is something I cannot do while you are still my Padawan. It would be...too close to a core truth."
"I don't understand, Qui-Gon. We share our love already as Master and Padawan."
Qui-Gon smiled and reached out to touch the earnest face.
"Obi-Wan, your fealty is already mine to command while you are my Padawan. Until that changes upon your Knighting I couldn't play the role you did today. Not to satisfy a fantasy. Not even if you needed it for the reasons I did. Your life is mine to command, just as the Clasaac leader commands her Tribe. That knowledge is a heavy enough weight as it is."
"But Master, you've risked yourself many times to protect me."
"Yes, it is my duty to protect and teach you, Obi-Wan. I would risk my life to save yours, but it doesn't change the fact that both our lives may someday be required if the Force demands. Mine is my own to give, but yours...No, I couldn't reciprocate. I'm sorry."
Obi-Wan didn't answer. He knew Qui-Gon carried the responsibility and burden of his Padawan always. Oh, Obi-Wan knew he was loved. But he had never before stopped to consider that Qui-Gon watched and worried over him every minute of every day, and had done so since he first became an Apprentice.
He stood and removed his boots and leggings, and held out his hand to Qui-Gon, positioning him to sit on the edge of the bed while he pulling down the soft sheets. Settling carefully behind his Master, Obi-Wan tied Qui-Gon's long hair in a loose braid and draped it over his shoulder. He turned down the lights with a Force-touch and lay down on his back, pulling Qui-Gon down and into an embrace to keep his abused back off the bedsheets.
Qui-Gon pulled the soft cover over them both up to his hips and sighed into Obi-Wan's shoulder. Reaching out over their emerging bond, Obi-Wan could tell that Qui-Gon was still troubled, but the almost crippling guilt he had sensed earlier was gone.
"Master, let us keep your fantasy for the rest of this night. Let me watch over you now."
Qui-Gon sighed again, and moved even closer into Obi-Wan's embrace. The last remaining tension drained out of his body and aura and Obi-Wan could feel him slide towards a peaceful sleep, his first real sleep in days. "Love you," Qui-Gon murmured, and surrendered control again to his Padawan.
Obi-Wan remained awake as Qui-Gon's breathing deepened and evened out, very lightly stroking his Master's hair.
He kept watch.
*******
End
