My First Job:  1/99-8/00  

Q:  So what do you do at work?

A:  According to my business cards, I'm "Associate Project Manager" for a small company who was recently swallowed by a large San Francisco-based company who provides health care services.  Our department mainly deals with selling information to pharmaceutical companies--data they could probably get themselves but are too lazy (or "busy") to acquire and thus want it plopped in front of their faces, even though most of the time they shelve it without a glance...sort of akin to one buying a nice expensive set of encyclopedias.

What does it all mean?  Well, here's an example of what my typical Monday might look like:

8:03-8:30 AM:  Walk into office, check email/voicemail, pay online bills, drink coffee.

8:30-9:30 AM:  Prioritize workload for the day, print out emails relevant to department meeting.

9:30 AM:  Prepare to enter boss's office for department meeting.

9:30-10 AM:  Wait around because boss isn't ready for meeting yet; hold off going to bathroom for fear she'll call me.

10-11:30 AM:  "Half-hour" department meeting.

11:30 AM:  Dash to bathroom.

11:30-12:50:  Think about lunch.  Call clients and leave voicemail messages.   Think more about lunch.  Call tech support when computer crashes.

12:50-1:50PM:  Run errands that weren't supposed to take up whole lunch hour.

1:50-2PM:  Scarf down microwaved entree while standing and watching tech support "fix" (aka reboot) computer.

The rest remains a little fuzzy; I guess it varies somewhat.  Tuesdays tend to be more productive, I might actually be able to reach a client or be blessed by one of them returning my calls.  It might go something like this:

CLIENT:  We'd really like this and that.

ME:  Certainly.  We can provide you with it.  When would you like it?

CLIENT:  Oh, no need to rush.  Say, by the end of the day today?

ME:  (quickly turning snort into a coughlike sound)  OK, let me just check with our programming staff to see if that's possible.

ME TO PROGRAMMER:  The client wants this and that.  When can you have it done?

PROGRAMMER:  Maybe, about, I'm guessing, next week, around then, give-or-take.   But does he want it done like such and such?

ME:  !@#$#, I dunno.  Let me ask him and get back to you.

ME TO CLIENT'S VOICEMAIL:  In doing this and that, we came across such and such.   We need to know how you'd like us to proceed.

(4:50 PM as I'm making dinner plans)  CLIENT'S EMAIL:  In response to such and such, do Blah.

ME TO PROGRAMMER'S VOICEMAIL:  You've probably gone for the day, but the client wants to do Blah.

(the next week):  MY EMAIL TO CLIENT:  Attached is the file of this and that.   Please call if you have any questions.

ME TO CLIENT:  Hi, just following up.  How did you like this and that?

CLIENT:  Oh yeah, let me open that email.  (pause as he looks)   Actually, can we add blub blub blub?

ME (suppressing violent mental images):  Certainly.  We can provide you with it.

And so it goes.  Not likely to be ranked as one of the 50 most glamorous jobs in the country, but a steppingstone to bigger things in the future and for now, it keeps me happy (and fed).  Sometimes, I get to do more exciting things like business trips (see my Travels Journal Excerpts) and client meetings in NYC, which might go something like this:

ME:  How are you, Client?

CLIENT:  Great, since the Redskins won the game last night.  Did you see it?

ME:  Er, no.  I'm not really into baseball.

CLIENT:  Yes, I see. (darkened expression)  What've you got for me today.

ME:  We've made the improvements you wanted to this thingy.  (show him)

CLIENT:  (looks it over, frowns)  But it doesn't have national market share analysis grids.  We really need to include that.

ME:  Certainly.  We can provide you with it.

CLIENT:  Yeah, well I really wish it was included here already.  [Boss's name] knows I have these data needs, and national market share analysis grids are obviously among them.  She should've told you to include it.

ME:  Hmm.  I'll look into it and get back to you on that.

(one month of sweat and tears later)

ME:  Client, I'm pleased to show you the new improved thingy including the national market share analysis grids you wanted.

CLIENT:  Oops.  (spills coffee on it)

CLIENT:  (looks it over, frowns)  I really wish it wasn't able to be so easily ruined by coffee.  [Boss's name] knows I have these needs, and coffee resistance is among them.

ME:  (suppressing violent mental images)  Hmm I'll get into it and look back at you on that.  Er I mean--

CLIENT:  So how long have you been working with [company]?  What company did you work for previously?

ME:  College.  I mean this is my first job after college.

CLIENT:  It's a great first job.

ME:  Thanks.  (shake hands)