Holy Order of Our Lady of Debauchery: Deportment

The Symbol of the Order

The Holy Order of Our Lady of Debauchery
Deportment of the Cloistered Membership

Safe, Sane, and Consensual.

(I told you we'd be coming back to this.) These three words are the basis for deportment in our Order. (Well, that and Cardinal Steffano's Most Excellent Guide to Chivalry and Etiquette, which we consider a Must Read for all members. We will print the address in the Sundry Small Stuff , after we quote him two or three times.)
You can judge almost any situation by these three criteria. As an example: you're playing Tablero at 3 a.m., and you set up a seven on the diagonal when you know your opponent can't fill it. The urge to yell the traditional "Set 'em up and KNOCK 'EM DOWN!" is almost overwhelming - but not doing it might be a good idea. Is it safe?Depend on if your neighbors are sleeping fighters - or friends of the Autocrat. Is it sane? Let's face it, playing Tablero at 3 a.m. at all is not sane. Is it consensual?NO. Your neighbors did not ask to be awakened at this hour. Do the courteous thing - whisper it forcefully. Your neighbors will thank you.
Another example (please transpose genders in your head accordingly): you are sitting around a bardic circle with a lovely and wonderful young lord who keeps sipping from his bota bag; by the time it gets suggested that the two of you take off for more private places, he can hardly stand. Now, you can take off for your tent with him, but ask the usual questions: Is it safe?Can you really trust this guy to use protection when he can't see the tree roots he's tripping over? Is it sane? Fun? Yes, but sane . . . We leave it up to you. Is it consensual? Unless you talked it over about how far the both of you were willing to go when your partner was still sober, it's best to assume no.
Cardinal Steffano has some wonderful stuff in his Guide to Chivalry and Etiquette about this, like:

No means no, obviously. But a drunken "yes" should sometimes be interpreted as a "no". The Gucci rule was "no seducing women who're drunker than you are." so if you're wondering, she probably is too drunk.
. . .
A smile does not mean "let's have sex"
Sharing a cloak does not mean "let's have sex"
Kissing does not mean "let's have sex"
Caressing does not mean "let's have sex"
. . .
"Let's have sex" means "let's have sex". Only "Yes" means "Yes."
So, in all things, let's keep these three questions in mind:

Is it Safe?Will engaging in this activity cause you harm in any way, right now or down the line?
Is it Sane?What is your definition of sane? Does it fit with that? If you do it, will you regret it later on?
Is it Consensual?THIS QUESTION IS NOT OPTIONAL. If all parties do not agree of their own free will, then it is against everything the Order stands for. It is also grounds for dismissal from the Order, and possibly for contacting the Mundane authorities. Yes, we take it that seriously. Up With This Sh!t, We Will Not Put.

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