General Psayings
The Book of Poops
The Book of Lazarus
The Book of Gonzo

It is quicker to re-arm than re-load.

JiMuppet Moviey Morien the Boogaloo Shem

Don't parry with your face.

Capt. Jaun Ramirez De Santiogo

Aren't waiter wonderful? You ask them for things and they bring them. Same princible as Santa Clause.

Arthur Bach

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!

Anonymous

This is a crazy world and the only way to to enjoy it is to treat it as a joke.

Hilda Corners

It is better to "look good" than it is to "win"

Capt. Jaun Ramirez De Santiogo

And they made a very agreeable thump!

Sir G'Kar, The Red Knight

Isn't this fun? Isn't fun the best thing to have?

Arthur Bach

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Jules Renard

Everything is better from behind.

Capt. Jaun Ramirez De Santiogo

A mind is like a parachute; it only functions when open.

Button

It is better not to lose than it is to win.

Capt. Jaun Ramirez De Santiogo

We suspend our disbelief, we are entertained.

Mystic Rythems, Rush

Magus, Melior, Celerius, Amplius. (Bigger, better, faster, more.)

Motto of the International Wenches Guild

It's All Good.

Oifa of Grithold†

Will it matter a week from now, a month, a year?

Runswith of Grithold, Grand Inquisitor HOOLD

Well, you see, we Centauri are always on duty--duty to the Republic, to our houses, to one another. And so we have made the practice of Joy another duty, one which must be persued as vigorously as the others. You should try it some time.

The Bible says that even the smallest sparrow does not fall without God seeing it. What then of all these other races on distant worlds [people in distant places]? Would He abandon them? Or reveal Himself in some other way? God goes by many names. Perhaps some are alien-sounding--different faces and history--but all describing the same Creator. We've come here to learn all those names--in hopes of better understanding the One who is behind them.

It's amazing what you can get done when it's all got to get done.

--CoMuppet Movieercial

Free your mind, and your butt will follow.

--Joe Bob Briggs

What have you always wanted to know about and learn?

--George Malley

Everybody's going through something.

--Nate Pope

I'm talking about the Human Spirit. That's the voyage. That's the challenge. That's the expedition.

--George Malley

What makes a religion false? If any religion is right, then maybe they all have to be right. Maybe God doesn't care how you say your prayers, just as long as you say them.

--John Sinclair

Life has to be more than just a pulse beat. What we hold sacred gives our lives meaning.

--John Sinclair

General Wolf Rules for Life: Eat, Rest, Rove in between, Render loyalty, Love the children, Cavil in the moonlight, Tune your ears, Attend to the bones, Make love, Howl often.

--Women who Run with the Wolves

The Old Code: A Knight is sworn to Valor. His heart knows only Virtue. His blade defends the Helpless. His might upholds the Weak. His word speaks only Truth. His wrath undoes the Wicked.

--DragonHeart

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.

--Kahil Gibran

We are the Music Makers, and We are the Dreamers of Dreams.

Willy Wonka

A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.

Willy Wonka

Let a man overcome anger by kindness, evil by good . . . Never in the world does hatred cease by hatred; hatred ceases by Love.

--Buddha

You instill fear, but you earn respect.

--Joy Miller(Beautician and the Beast)

He was a Child of God cleverly disguised as an idiot.

--Lyandla Vonsant

A little revolution, now and then, is a Good Thing, don't you think?

--Marko Ramius

This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our Maker, and glory to His bounty, by learning about . . . Beer.

--Friar Tuck, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Did God paint me? For certain. Why? Because Allah loves infinite variety.

--Azim, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

You are who you choose to be. We all are.

--Hercules, The Legendary Journeys

I'm a Male, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.

--Possum Lodge Men Anonymous Pledge

Quando Omni Flunkus, Moritati. (When All Else Fails, Play Dead. )

--Possum Lodge Men Anonymous Slogan

If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew.

Pochahantas, Disney's Pochahantas

Hakuna matata!

Timon

Carpe Diem.

John Keating

Oh yes, the past can hurt; but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.

Rafiki

Hey man, just play the gig. Never get involved in politics.

Floyd Pepper (MTI)

"Hey Waldorf, wake up. Here come the bikinis!" Statler

"Oh boy! We better synchronize our pacemakers." Waldorf

GMC

I really wouldn't mind it if we found someplace with ten square meals a day. Rizzo

Moderatzio offendo!

Capitan Jaun Ramirez de Santiago

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My shoes are too tight; but it doesn't matter, because I have forgotten how to dance.

--Londo Mollari's Father

You are all weird.

Sam the Eagle (GMC)

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Lazarus Long

Look ma! No Brains!

Waldorf (GMC)

Stupidity is self correcting.

Katriana of Grithold, Mother Superior HOOLD

It's people like you what cause unrest.

--John Cleese

History does not record at any time a religion that has any rational basis. Religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help. But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it.

Lazarus Long

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Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts; it enhances their charm by making them looked lived in and happy.

If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.

Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing--with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second place.

It is better to copulate that never.

Everything to excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

[Children], like butterflies, need no excuse.

What are the facts? Again and again and again--what are the facts? Shun wishful thinking, ignore divine revelation, forget what "the stars foretell", avoid opinion, care not what the neighbors think, never mind the unguessable "verdict of history"--what are the facts, and to how many decimal places? You pilot always into an unknown future; facts are your single clue. Get the facts!!!!

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorific and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the un-traveled, the naïve, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

The more you love, the more you can love--and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

You live and learn. Or you don't live long.

Rub [their] feet.

If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.

"God split himself into a myriad parts that he might have friends." This may not be true, but it sounds good--and is no sillier than any other theology.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

A "critic" is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased--he hates all creative people equally.

Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you.

Only a sadistic scoundrel--or a fool--tells the bald truth on social occasions.

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of their ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds to happiness in a world in which happiness is always in short supply.

To be "matter of fact" about the world is to blunder into fantasy--and dull fantasy at that, as the world is strange and wonderful.

Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long before he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money--but long on hugs.

Minimize your therblings until it becomes automatic; this doubles your effective lifetime--and thereby gives time to enjoy butterflies and rainbows.

Have you noticed how much they look like orchids? Lovely!

Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.

A man does not insist on physical beauty in a woman who builds up his morale. After a while he realizes that she is beautiful--he just hadn't noticed it at first.

Natural laws have no pity. Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful--just stupid.)

Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult as it may be, but the reward is self respect.
But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please--this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vise of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100% of your time--and squawk for more!
So learn to say No--and to be rude about it when necessary.
Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and leave none of it for you.
(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.)

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Wow! Good looking chickens!

"Gonzo, what are you doing?" Kermit
"About seven knots!"

If she were a chicken she'd be impeccable!

The sky sure is beautiful out here. Look at that!

Boy you could get lost in a sky like that. I sure wish I had those balloons again.

Woo-Hoo-Hoo!!

"Kermit, what if we drift out to sea? What if we're never heard from again? What if there's a storm, or we get struck by lightning?!" Fozzie
"That'd be neat!" Gonzo

"Woo-wee! I'd like to try this without the balloon" G
"Try what, plummeting?" Kermit
"Yeah!" G

I wonder how far you could plummet before you blacked out...sure is tempting.

What a fantastic beginning!

We're going to take the world and set it on it's ear!

It's okay, I landed on my head.

"Stop the presses!" G
"Why? What happened?" Mr. Tarkanian
"I don't know. I've just always wanted to say that." G

What's happening? Whooppie!!!

"Boy, another crash landing. That was terrible." K
"Well, we'll just have to do it again!" G

Hey, this is nice.

"I think I'm stuck...Pull," G
"Are you O.K.?" Fozzie
"Oh sure, it was just my nose. Hey Fozzie, get your nose in here, it's really fun!" G

"Just leave it to me. Taxi!" G (Throws himself in front of a cab)
"That's very effective." K
"Yeah, it's great when it works." G

Woo-Wee! Can we do that again?"

"How about you folks? Souvenir photograph?" G
"No pictures."
"It'll be a great momento for you and your wife." G
"My wife isn't feeling very well."
"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe she should be at home." G
"My wife is at home!"
"Aba babada.....Next table!" G

Yeah, well, photography is an art. You gotta have the right film, you gotta have the right exposure, and you have to scream just before they get the food to their mouth.

So there I was, backstage under a table doing a photographic essay on kneecaps..."

"I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!" R
"You have all the fun." G

To the south east, multi-armed Zanzibanian shark women and their exploding wigs of death!

If it's weird and wild let's go and find it. The crazier the better is what I say.

WOW! What an exit! Right through a brick wall!

"We must keep quiet about this. There are pirate looking for this treasure map." J. Hawkins
"Yeah, and they want to kill us for it. Isn't that exciting!?" G

He's got demons? Cool!

Every storm we ride is it's own reward.

Oh Rizzo, it's not so bad. Later on Angel-Marie said he'd throw a line out the back and let me drag along the bottom.

Yeah! Do it to me!

Look at this! I'm taller! I could be in the NBA!

Poodly, poodly, poodly, poodly!

OHH! Great! Wow! That was so cool!

"What's wrong?" R
"Well, it just feels so weird." G
"What? You mean that Mr. Arrow is dead?" R
"That, and my pants are full of starfish." G
"You and your hobbies!" R

"Great! Captured by wild pigs and sacrificed hideously before a pagan alter." R
"Are we lucky or what?!" G

This looks familiar; vaguely familiar
Almost unreal, yet it's too soon to feel yet
Close to my soul, & yet so far away
I'm going to go back there some day.

Sun rises, night falls; Sometime the sky calls
is that a song there; & do I belong there?
I've never been there, but I know the way
I'm going to go back there someday.

Come & go with me -- it's more fun to share
We'll both be completely at home in midair
We're flying, not walking, on featherless wings
We can hold on to love like invisible strings.

There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met.
Part human, part space-Or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay,
I'm going to go back there someday.

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