Subj:[gilmoregirlsfanfiction] Lost in the Shadows 4/?
From:jennieln@pacbell.net
Lost in the Shadows 4
AUTHOR’S NOTE:
A few people have pointed out (some more rudely than others) that Rory would never do anything as slutty as depicted in the previous parts. My response to this is DUH! I know, as well as anyone else who watches the show that these events will never happen.
But isn’t that the point of fan fiction? To explore an avenue the show wouldn’t go? Yes, this one is quite a stretch but I wanted to write a story that nobody had attempted before. Do you really want to read the same basic plot lines over and over? Believe me, it gets boring fast.
I simply wanted to give people a different view on the characters and paint a picture that they wouldn’t normally expect to see. And I’m assuming from the massive amounts of feedback I receive everyday in my inbox, I may just be doing what I had hoped.
I’m sorry if this story has offended anyone in anyway, that was never my intention. In fact, I have added an “AU” (although technically it is not) to the subject line to ward off those who don’t want to stretch their imaginations with an “off the wall” story as this.
Thanks for letting me ramble. Now on with the story…..
Jennie (jennie@burningobsession.com)
PS. Thank you to all those who have sent me or responded favorably to this story. It means a lot.
*****
Part Four
BLOWING AWAY
Rory groaned and tried to ignore the finger that was annoyingly poking her side.
“Rory…” her mother whined. “Hey, wake up. You’ve slept half the day already.”
Her head pounded slightly but she tried to ignore it as she blinked against the sunlight that was streaming in through the slits in the blinds. Squinting, she found everything blurry. Yep, definitely a sign that she should go back to sleep.
“No,” she said resolutely, burying her face deep into her pillow. “I want to go back to sleep.” As muffled as it was, she knew Lorelai fully understood it’s meaning.
“Oh no you don’t, sleepy head. You and I need to talk.”
She sighed deeply into her pillow before giving up. When her mom was determined there was no stopping her. Dragging herself up into a sitting position, she attempted to tame her hair.
Amused, her mom watched for a moment before joining her on the bed, propping herself up against the pillows. “So talk.”
Rory stared at her blankly. “About what?”
“Hmm….. perhaps about Dean proposing and then you two having a very public break-up and then disappearing to a Chilton party instead of getting me and then when you got home, you didn’t even wake me up like you promised!”
Guilt was nothing new in their small but close-knit family. It was how they got what they wanted, so Rory brushed it off with a sigh. Her mother was only trying to find out what had happened.
“Sorry, I just….. everything’s fuzzy.” She slouched a bit and hugged a pillow to her chest. “I can’t believe he proposed!” She found herself giggling. “What was he thinking?”
Lorelai leaned her head on Rory’s shoulder. “Was the diamond big?”
Rory snorted. “Oh yeah, two months salary for a bag boy is just way too much to spend on a ring.” Though the pain in her head had subsided to a dull throb, it had still not dissipated from her heart.
“Well, it’s a good thing that you said no then. Wouldn’t want you to get arm cramps from the weight of it.”
“Yeah,” Rory said quietly. “Good thing.”
They sat absorbed in their own thoughts. Between the two of them, silent moments were few and far between so Rory took advantage of it.
Lorelai was the one to break it. “Have you not stressed your dream of Harvard enough to him? Does he not realize that you’re leaving for four years, maybe more?”
“That’s exactly the problem. It’s like he wants to ‘stake his claim’ on me before I go.”
“What’s wrong with that? Sounds kinda obsessive but sweet in a Dean sort of way.”
Rory thought about that. What WAS so wrong with it? “I don’t know….. I just….. I love him but I don’t want to go away constantly thinking about him, missing him.”
“So you knew it was coming? The break up, I mean.”
Sometimes her mom surprised her with her astuteness. This was one of those times. She had a way of making Rory realize exactly how she felt without forcing her into it. “I guess I did,” she conceded. “Although it’s sooner than I expected.”
Lorelai patted her daughter’s knee affectionately. “How about we go rent a bunch of movies and escape reality all day.”
Rory found herself smiling despite the emptiness she still felt. “Sounds great.”
Once her mom had gone, Rory sunk back down into the thick blankets. She wanted to tell her everything. She really did. But she was afraid that she wouldn’t understand.
Tristan DuGrey had been the bane of her existence from day one at Chilton. She had done nothing but complain about him. How could she now tell her that while everything had been cold, hard….. distant, he had been warm, soft….. REAL.
That thought scared her.
Although she had had some alcohol, she knew she hadn’t been drunk. She had known exactly what she was doing and she did not regret whom she had done it with.
She had used him. Flat out took advantage of him, but he was the only one who she couldn’t feel sorry for. He had been trying to bed her for two years now and now that he had, his crusade was over. He would move on without giving her a second thought.
She ignored the lump in her throat as she contemplated that.
So no, she wouldn’t tell her mom. Plus, if she did, Lorelai would insist on putting her on birth control
Rory stopped breathing.
God, how could she have been so stupid? They hadn’t used any kind of protection. Nothing.
No, she definitely would not be sharing how idiotic she had been the night before.
That decided, she got up, thankful that she still had two and a half weeks until she had to go back to school and face him.
*****
The breeze picked her hair up off her shoulders and Rory pulled the jacket tighter around her body. She sat in the town’s center park, thoughts dwelling dangerously close to the events of a week before. She couldn’t keep her mind off of Tristan.
She saw the way his eyes flickered in the firelight
No, she wouldn’t go there.
“I didn’t realize how entertaining watching stores was. I’ve been missing out on a lot.”
Rory felt a grin spread as he sat down next to her and slung an arm comfortably over her shoulders.
“Hey Jess.” She turned to study his face, rosy from the crisp air. A few days before, she had confided in him and she hadn’t regretted the decision yet.
“Hey yourself.” He became serious, his brows creasing in concern. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine.” Yes, she told him what had happened with Tristan but she refused to acknowledge the twist her thoughts had recently become to take.
“Yeah, freezing to death for two hours, staring off into space shows just how fine you are.”
Rory genuinely smiled. “Really, I’m okay. Just thinking.”
He stood up in front of her, towering over her. “Why don’t you come inside with me and think where it’s warm.”
“Okay, but only if there’s coffee involved.” She glanced down at the leaves the wind was blowing around. They dipped and danced around his feet.
“I think I could swing it.” He offered his hand and she was instantly grateful that she had a friend like him. She slipped her mitten-clad hand in his and looked up, startled to see two pairs of eyes staring down at her.
“Dean…..” she subconsciously whispered.
Jess turned and nodded his head to Dean, dropping her hand. Dean acknowledged him and they both looked to Rory.
“Come by later, okay?” Jess asked slowly, his eyes betraying his calm countenance. He was worried about her and she would love him forever for that.
She nodded and watched him walk back to the diner across the street.
Dean hesitated and then sat silently beside her.
She looked down at his hands clasping and unclasping. They were the same hands that used to make her knees weak with they slipped through her hair, but now they looked different.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet and was almost blown away with the wind.
“Me too.”
She took a chance and looked up into his eyes, noticing the spark they usually ignited in her was absent.
“I won’t lie. This hurts me more than I thought possible, but I love you Rory. I’ll do anything for you.”
“Then you’ll be my friend and give me time.”
He sucked in a shaky breath. “If that’s what you want, I’ll try.”
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.” She had held his hand countless times before but this time it was lacking something.
He smiled, trying to conceal the pain he felt, but she saw right through him. They had been through a lot together and Rory was certain they would survive this as well.
He was one of her best friends.
Comfortably, they sat side by side, holding hands and listening to the wind.
*****
TBC…
AN: I know there hasn’t been much Trory action since part two but be patient. It is coming.
(
geocities.com/gilmoregirlsff)