In My Own Words
The Jamaica Inn
Favorites
Email Me

          ~~~

The Everyday Witch

~~~

In My Own Words

Poetry
Essay
Short Story - Fiction

          ~~~

The Jamaica Inn

endometriosis & me
Endo Journal

          ~~~

Favorites
          ~~~

In Memory of Julie "Aunt Jewels" Miller
and her adorable Chihuahuas, Mikey and Fancy Pants

“You wait for me”, she squealed in protest.

She was stumbling down the front walkway and trying to push the rhinestone collar over her head.

“Hurry up” he growled over his shoulder, “if you aren’t in the car by the time I pull out of the driveway I’m leaving without you.”

He nosed open the heavy black car door and scrambled into the car.
“Besides”, he sneered, “you aren’t even a member, I’m *letting* you come with me.”

Lily succeeded in getting the pretty black rhinestone collar from over her head and it clinked on the driveway pavement as she struggled into the large black car behind her older brother. Half-brother, she thought with a snort, he was a half breed, not even a real Chihuahua. Her blood was true blue, and she reminded him every chance she got.

As Archie used his teeth to turn the ignition key and start the car, Lily clamored over him and took her place, perched on the top of the front bench seat.

The engine roared to life and settled into a deep low growl. Archie nosed the gear shift into drive and the car slowly rolled into traffic. There was the schreeching of rubber on pavement, but neither Archie nor Lily knew if it was the small compact car heading straight for the driver’s side door, or the fact that Archie loved to gun the engine so fast it made the wheels spin wildly out of control before gaining traction as he left the driveway. And honestly, neither one of them cared.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Lily snorted at him as they entered the highway.

It was then that Archie realized he had never allowed the little Alpha Bitch to see him on Mommy’s shoulder in the topless car. He snickered to himself as he realized how clueless the little Blue Blooded Baby really was. Part of him sighed and felt nostalgic, because he knew what Lulu and Fancy would do to her. Fuck her, he snorted to himself, she had chewed up all his favorite stuffed toys, ate out of his favorite blue bowl, and then the stupid dog tried to sleep next to Mommy. HA!

She was finally going to get hers. But he knew deep down inside that if he didn’t take her with him, she’d tell Mommy that the Gang was off on another escapade, and that Mommy would alert the Aunt’s, then they would all have Hell to Pay!

Lily was curled up in a very small fluffy ball and braced against Archie on the front seat, as he pulled the big black car to the curb. The back door was opened slowly and then almost magically a canine form appeared on the running board. First a small blue hat with two large ears poked thru the top, then the rest of the body materialized. Archie rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Lulu,” he growled, “this is a hit, not a social function.”

Lulu settled into the back seat and arranged the frilly dress around herself. She completely ignored Archie’s comments and simply purred sweetly,
 “Hello Archie, that spiked collar really sets off your eyes”.

There was a small commotion and Archie jumped up on the head rest. He glowered into the back seat.

“Lulu!” he growled ferociously. “WHAT, is this?”

His eyes were bulging and his voice wavered between a whine and a growl as he watched the Little Alpha Bitch’s clone climb into the back seat. Emily Rose daintily climbed onto the back seat as Katie was making herself comfy next to Lulu.

“I spread the word Mr. Goodwin”, Lulu said, putting her emphasis on the mister.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Archie” said Katie in the sweetest of voices. “It is so kind of you to arrange the party. She cocked her head towards Emily. “We want to help our Auntie Jewels out too.”

Archie jumped down into the driver’s seat and looked down at Lily.
“This is your fault”, he growled at her.

Lily grinned at Archie and playfully bit his ear as she jumped into the back seat to make her introductions.

Archie drove the rest of the way alone in the front seat, as the girls giggled and gossiped in the back seat. This was not how he had envisioned – but then Fancy would put things straight. He could always count on Fancy and Mike to come thru for him, and Fancy was sure to hate that little Alpha Bitch.

It was dark when Archie slid the black machine towards Fancy and Mike. He could only see Fancy waiting by the side of the road. He stopped the car, put it into park and jumped out of the driver’s side door. As he trotted around the front of the car, he only saw Fancy’s tail as she climbed into the back seat. Mike slowly emerged from the shadows, looking menacing as always. He was followed by several dark shadows. Mike greeted Archie with the usually yips and licking, and then suddenly a familiar scent caught his nose. Little Deer sidled up to Archie and gave his ear a greeting kiss.

“Little Deer” cried Archie, “you shouldn’t be here, it’s far too dangerous!”
Annabelle laughed and chuckled.
“My name is Annabelle now, and these are my new friends. We’re coming too.”
Archie looked at Annabelle in shock.
“What?” she asked Archie, “ you think I learned nothing on the streets of South Central?”
Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight in a scary kind of way. He then turned to Mike.

“There are 5 women giggling in the back seat, how exactly are we going to pull this off with a bunch of dames to look after.”
“Relax buddy,” whispered Mike, “I’ve got a plan that will bring tears to your eyes.”

Annabelle headed towards the black car. As she passed Archie, she said,
“My brother Velcro, my sister Whoosh. Velcro is Chinese, at least, that’s what Mom says.”
Velcro’s hackles where raised and he snarled menacingly at Archie.
“Save it for the hit, tough guy,” snarled Mike, “you’ll have plenty to sink your teeth into when we hit the target, I promise, you’ll get first blood.”

As Velcro headed to the car, Archie and Mike exchanged glances and burst into hysterical laughter.
“I know man I know,” cried Mike, “it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

They were on the grass rolling and laughing. Each time they gained enough control of themselves to get up on all four paws, the image of Velcro’s freckles and little tufts of hair sent them into another round of giggling and tail chasing. Inevitably one would squeal “Chinese”, or the other would giggle “Crested”, which would cause further hysteria. They hung on each other, snorting and hiccoughing, and stumbled to the car.

Archie, Mike, Velcro and Annabelle stood on the front seat and peered into the back. Archie was stunned by what he saw. There was a pile of doll clothing on the floor of the back seat, and all six dogs were sitting upright, looking at the four in front.

Fancy had explained to the dames that frilly dresses could impede small legs on the run. Somehow she got them out of those ridiculous clothes and into spiked collars.

“Alright”, said Mike, “here’s how it’s going down…….”

They drove all night, stopping only twice for potty breaks. Mikey explained to the Gang why the hit was being done. It seemed that Auntie Jewels, Mikey & Fancy’s mommie was ill, and the Wal-Mart was the closest Pharmacy. Somebody gave her lip, rejected her insurance and generally insulted her …. And well, the Chi Gang couldn’t stand for that disrespect to go unpunished.

As they approached the target, Archie pulled into a fast food parking lot. The girls were fanatical over the smell of cooking hamburger. Mike and Velcro took off with stealth and returned in just a few minutes with stolen goods. The Gang ate in a surprisingly organized manner with only minimal growling and fighting. Archie was shocked at how well Little Alpha Bitch
……......sigh, ok, Lily, she obviously deserved to be called by her name……....
was fitting in with the Gang.

Just as Mike had planned, they arrived at the Wal-Mart parking lot. Archie parked and they waited. One by one, the Gang slipped out of the car and into the Wal-Mart.

And, just as planned, they circled the Pharmacy.

Suddenly, there was a yelp, Mike’s signal, and all TEN dogs charged!

Fifteen minutes later, amazingly all ten dogs reconvened at the big black car.

Velcro and Annabelle were laughing and tugging on a squeaker toy they had stolen on their way out.

Emily Rose, Whoosh and Lily were giggling, each had a plush toy.

Katie, Lulu and Fancy arrived with bright colored scrunchies – the reward for their hard work.

Mike and Archie proudly strutted around the car, waiting on the Gang. Everyone was very proud of their deposits. Some left steamy piles, others simply pee-ed – but all made their mark on the Wal-Mart.

Archie threw the car into gear and the big black car filled with nine vicious Chihuahua’s and a bad-ass Crested, screeched into traffic.