Who are you?
-Written by Johanna
High school is the time in your life when either you will find yourself, and enjoy basking on the sunny beaches of self-confidence, or you'll get so swept away in the currents of the ocean (of peer pressure, that is) that you will never find your way back to shore. The four years you spend in high school may seem like an eternity, but if you think about it in comparison to your whole life....it's not that long. So why is it so critical to find out who you really are in those four years?? Well, keep reading!
Your Life: A Giant Sky Scraper
Picture your life as a giant sky scraper. (I know, it sounds kooky, but just flow with it) When you're little, it's like your just choosing where to build it, looking at different things, maybe stepping in a few holes in the ground, learning a lot about construction, etc... But when you get to high school, you start to build the foundation for your sky scraper. Now of course you want that foundation to be strong and sturdy, right?? Because if you think about it, you don't want to be on the 40th story of that skyscraper 25 years down the road and have the whole building collapse before your feet, do you?? Of course not. So if you find who you are in high school, and build that foundation strong, then you won't have to worry about your building, your life, crashing down in years to come.
What I'm trying to say is that if you figure out who you really are in high school, then you'll know what you really want in life. Otherwise you may waste a lot of years down the road when you have to stop, retrace your steps and find yourself. (Ex: Going to college to be a cook because that's what your parents want, but after you attend college for three years you realize that it's not what you want. So when you could have realized that and followed your own heart in high school, you didn't and instead you ended up wasting three years in college, which is pretty expensive, and of course a waste of precious time!)
So Where Do I Start??
That's probably the question you're asking yourself right now. And I can give you an answer to this question right now! It's simple! But first let me address a few things.
Peer Pressure
First of all, high school can and will, if you let it, put a lot of peer pressure on you. Peer pressure to drink, smoke (both cigarettes and marijuana) and engage in other activities that are not-so-wise. (I'm addressing this because some of you asked) You will be pressured to do these things to fit in, but let me tell you something. If your friends are pressuring you to do things that you don't want to do, then they aren't your friends at all.
And FYI (for your information), you do NOT need to drink or smoke to have a good time in high school! Now some of you may be like, "But I want to try those things" and this is what I'm telling you, if you do it once, the chances are that you're going to do it again, as bad as it may be, and you will eventually wind up doing something you regret. Basically, it all comes down to if you have a conscience or not....if you do, it'll be a lot easier to avoid peer pressure.
If you're still thinking, "But high school should be fun...I want to party and live it up...etc..." Well, not only is drinking and smoking/doing drugs very hazardous to your health and ILLEGAL, but it can also ruin the rest of your lives! How, you may ask, besides the health factor?? Well because if you're busy doing those things, your grades are gonna slip, and if your grades slip and you're cutting class all the time to do those things.....you're gonna be up a river without a paddle! Because colleges don't want kids who aren't well-rounded---in their academics, sports and community. Being a "party animal" takes time away from those important things.
So here's a BIG tip for all of you incoming freshman: "DO NOT SLACK OFF IN SCHOOL, NOT YOUR FRESHMAN YEAR, SOPHOMORE YEAR, JUNIOR YEAR, OR SENIOR YEAR! WORK YOUR REAR OFF, BECAUSE IT WILL PAY OFF WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO GET INTO COLLEGE!"
I have worked my tail off all through high school, and although many seniors next year (many of my friends) are going to take slacker classes, I'm going to take the hard ones so I won't have to take them in college.
Another tip: GET INVOLVED/STAY INVOLVED!! There's lots of clubs and sports in high school to join....they're fun and they'll look good on high school applications. Okay, now that I finished my "tip" tangent, back to peer pressure. Peer pressure won't phase you, unless you let it. If you fight peer pressure, swim against the current (instead of with it like every other fish), you're already on the way to finding yourself!!
Friends
Now, along with peer pressure, I'm going to point out that your BEST FRIENDS will change as you go through high school. (See the friends/relationships page) That's right, it is highly likely that the people in the group you hang out with in middle school could become your most hated enemies in high school (hopefully not, but I've seen it happen)! You will change as well. And if your friends are going down a different path than you want to be....then don't follow them. Find some new friends! I know, that sounds scary, but trust me, it's better than trying to hang out with your "old" friends with whom you don't even share common interests anymore.
Some of your good friends may get into drinking and drugs (although now they say, "I would never do that!"), but don't follow them. Because whatever you do in high school is what you're going to end up doing for the rest of your life. Party in high school, party in college, party, party, party......now if that's all you want to do with your life---squander it away drinking and doing drugs, then that's a pathetic waste of a beautiful life. Don't let that life be yours. Which brings me to my next point....
Decide What You Want (and stick to it!)
Oh, don't worry, I'm not telling you to choose what college to go to or what you want to be when you grow up, or anything like that. Nah, I'm just saying, as you enter high school, set your goals, and boundaries. Decide what you're going to do (ex. work hard for good grades) and what you're not going to do (ex. experiment with drugs). That way, you won't just be a leaf blowing wherever the wind takes you...you'll have at least some idea of where you want to be in four years, and where you don't. Check out the conversation below:
"Would you please tell me which way I ought to walk from here?" "That depends on where you want to get to," said the Cat. "I don't much care where-" said Alice. "Then it doesn't matter which way to walk," said the Cat. (From Alice's Adventure's in Wonderland)
You see, no one can tell you where to go with your life, if you don't have SOME idea of where you want it to go already. If you're like Alice, and you don't "much care" where you go, then you'll end up taking all sorts of crazy paths that could be pretty scary and dangerous! So if you have a slight idea of what you want, and where you want your life to go, you'll have a good FOUNDATION...to start building your sky scraper!! But you have to be careful, because even though you may know what you want, it's not going to do any good unless you STICK TO IT!! Now to the main part of finding out who you are!
So Who Am I Anyways??
Now I bet you're thinking, "Oh boy...I have no idea!" Well that's okay, because I'm going to help you figure that out. Why don't you start by answering yourself these few questions below.
1) When do you feel most at ease?? When you're at home with your family?? When you're at school with yourfriends?? When do you feel like yourself---when you don't have to act a certain way to impress someone, when you're not scared to be yourself??
2) Do you have "different faces"?? You know, one that you wear at home, one at school, one with your girlfriends, one around guys, etc???
3) Do you ever feel like you're having to try extra hard to be with a certain group of people, when hanging out with them doesn't come naturally??
Okay, now what your answers mean:
1) Whatever you answered here is most likely closest to your REAL self. Now keep in mind, I didn't ask you with whom you have the most FUN! Because although you may have fun with your friends, you may just be acting a certain way to keep them. Which leads to #2.
2) If you put some serious thought into this question, and realized, "Wow...yeah I guess I do have different faces...." then that's a good thing. But don't worry, you're not psycho or anything, in fact, it's quite normal. Except when it becomes consuming...like when you exhaust yourself trying to keep up with all your different personalities. However, it is much better to act yourself, your REAL self, around everyone. Most of you are probably pretty comfortable around your family, and although you don't want to hang out with them or anything, you'd never feel like you have to say something funny or wear cool clothes so they'd accept you. At least that's how it is for me. I know that I'm most like my real self when I'm at home...I don't have to try to impress anyone. Which leads to #3.
3) If you answered yes, then you're neglecting your real self. If you feel like you have to become an almost-totally-different-person to hang out with a certain crowd, then that group is not for you, and you will not find your REAL self there. Maybe some of you might have a person in your life who you feel so comfortable around that you could do anything, and not care what that person thinks! (Because they know that they can do anything and not care what you think!) I have that kind of person, she's my best friend....even though she moved away at the end of 8th grade to Oklahoma(now that was tough, I could go on and on about that), we're still best friends. I feel totally at ease when I'm around her, and I know I can trust her with anything. I like the person I am when I'm with her, and that's how I know what my real self is.
As you get a better grasp on who your real self is, who you really are inside, you'll probably become more content with yourself as well. Which is really good, because this world puts A LOT of peer pressure on young women, and if you know who you are inside, then you won't be as likely to fall for the media's traps. Just remember, finding yourself may be hard, but don't give up. Though the world may encourage you to be "just like everyone else", I'M telling you to be DIFFERENT-BE YOURSELF! We want that foundation of your sky scraper to be strong, so that the building grows over the years to come into the most beautiful, well structured thing in the world!!
Have any questions? Email me at:
girlmeets_world@hotmail.com