I Need Mulder The only sound I can hear is my heartbeat, Beating like a thousand drums crashing at once. My eyes are full of questions, His eyes contain the answers. I feel my heart stop beating as he leans towards me. He kisses me gently on the lips and my fear rises. I can taste his sweet lips, and smell the aftershave i bought him. I am sure he senses the fear in me as we sit side by side, A fear which should be love, but I cannot seem to change. I need to be with him, But I am too afraid. I know I truly love him deep down in my heart, but I am afraid he will be taken from me, like everyone else i love, Then once again I would be alone, Unable to allow my feelings to surface. My heart has hurt for so long I'm afraid it will die, I can't go on pretending that I'm strong. I'm not. I reach for his hand. Who am I trying to fool?   I need Mulder...