From the people who want to keep you Informed.

  
  Vol. 1  |  Num. 2             December, 1999              Return to the Main Page
Happy Christmas! Thanks again for reading our newsletter. If there are comments or letters you wish to have published, please send them to the GkM Editor at the link above. Highlights include a tip on the CIA informant to the Gulu Affair, more on the Clinton house in New York, and a further investigation into the FURBY episode.
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Attorney General suspected in Mormon sacking of Amish Gulu, Uganda


      PRESS RELEASE-- Further investigation into the Gulu Affair has show that the link between the CIA and the Mormon Oppressive Army could have been Attorney General Janet Reno. The link was not made right away however. Recent investigations have revealed that Reno is indeed the product of intensive Alien/Human genetic experiments, indeed the Alien/Human G-Nome, preformed by the Mormons themselves. Although Reno denies this, we have obtained convincing DNA samples from the Attorney General's maid (Informant #221). While recording a conversation Informant #223 reported that the General said, "Im glad they killed and sacked those bas*****." As it would seem the Attorney General isnt only the general of attorneys, rather a small elite section of Mormon infiltrators. We promise to keep you updated on further incursions.



Amish Retalitation Suspitions Confirmed by Counter-Attack


      UGANDA-- Amish forces counter attacked in a brilliant raid on Mormon supply depot, Moroto. Amish "Hoplite" cavalry stormed and sacked the town. General Yogerman VanStroodle declared victory for the Amish Army when he triumphantly raised the Mormon regent's underwear over the town's main Temple. Amish looters laimed 75% of the town's electrionic gear and reportibly nabbed ad 26 gigaton nuclear submarine, which, sadly, was drydocked in a land-locked country. 77,000 Amish trooped dressed in sheep's clothing entered the town as dusk began to set. Some of the officers began asking the sheep into thier quarters to share in a slice of pie, never-the-less the sheep clad soldiers kept thier cool as the timing wasnt right. Suddenly a shepard by the name of Jinadad TuGrith entered the city signaling the sheep to attack. Completely confused and totally incapiticitated, Mormon troopers and officers were neutralized one by one. Tanks exploded and buildings collapsed. Indeed VanStroodle's cunning attack was a stunning success and gave the Amish a much needed catch-up on the war.



Mormon UFO(s?) Fuel Source Discovered


      ATLANTA & SALT LAKE CITY -- As you may or may not be aware the Coca-Cola company is owned for the most part by a Huge Mormon majority. Sources have confirmed that yes Coca-Cola has been delivered on a regular basis to the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah. Experts have discovered that the so-called discovery od cold-fusion was actually the discovery of caffine powered flight capible of interstellar travel at super-light speeds. Efforts to boycott & prohibit Coke and caffine related sodas were a cunningly contrived plan to reserve feul for the Mormon mother ship. Our defence division suggests consuming large amounts of caffine related pops so as to strand the mothership on earth until the plot of Mormon interstellar flight is revealed to the general public.




F.U.R.B.Y.s Take on New Prey


As Charles Darwin once put it, "the survival of the fittest." This simple phrase applies to the FURBY culture, if you can call it that. As the gently infiltrate Kay-Bee stores world wide, FURBYs are not only looking for ultimate power, but also food. The orignal creators of the FURBY project intended the creatures they were creating to become hunters, self-sufficient, and so they were designed to do just that. The world discovered yesterday that indeed the FURBY race has found its prime feeding source . We expect that nature has indeed reached a "balance" with the FURBYs, by eliminating the overpopulation if thier food source.



Clinton NY House Raises Concerns


The Clintons have been contemplating the purchase of a 1.7 million dollar house outside of New York City. As you kjnow this will put Frau Clinton in the position to run in the 2000 election for the US Senate. While studing the evidence, facts have crept up that are to uncanny to miss. For example the house sits on property once leased, then sold to NASA, which sold it again to the Peace Corp. who sold it to a pair of hiding IRA members to use as a terrorist orginaizaion against the British government protesting sock taxes. The IRA members sold the house to four champion poodle breeders, who then are selling the house to the Clintons. The four poodle owners are Mormon. The connection is as solid as two ping-pong balls hitting a single mallet, at the same time. With Reno in the deal with the Mormon Hybrid Taskforce, one can assume the Clinton connection isn't that far off.

The Ho