Tell Me How You Feel ~ [The Pig Pen]

Tell Me How You Feel

Sendoh Akira was puzzled at his friends’ sudden silence. They were just eating lunch inside Ryonan High School’s canteen while chatting about stuff when everyone else suddenly turned silent and looked apprehensively over Sendoh’s shoulder. Wearing an adorably perplexed look on his face, he turned around to see what his friends were looking at.

Sendoh’s perplexed expression only deepened when he found his former best friend standing impatiently behind him. *What does he want from me?* He hastily schooled his expression. It would be no good for Koshino to see any emotion on his face. He gave a curt nod along with a clipped, “Koshino.”

A hurt expression flitted past Koshino’s features, but he immediately turned it into an angry one. He also delivered a curt acknowledgement. “Sendoh.” They just stared at each other for a few moments when suddenly, Koshino reached out and grabbed Sendoh’s hand. Surprised by the sudden motion, Sendoh could do nothing but gape at the other’s uncharacteristic action.

Koshino quickly pressed something into Sendoh’s hand before closing the other’s fingers around it. Then, he turned around and walked away without another word.

Still somewhat bemused, Sendoh excused himself from the table and went to the bathroom. There he locked himself into a cubicle and opened his hand. He was surprised to find a sheet of paper in it. Shrugging, he unfolded the note and started reading.

Akira,

You’re probably surprised that I wrote to you. After all, we both know I’m not the most proficient person when it comes to actually saying something substantial. But there are some things on my mind and I find that I can’t sleep because of them. And I think you’ve been feeling the same way too.

How do I know this, you might ask. Well I’m not blind, Akira. I’ve noticed the way you’ve been looking at me these past few weeks. It’s the same way you looked at all those girls you’ve pursued before. And I can’t honestly say that I feel disgusted. On the contrary, I think I’ve been giving you those looks too. Have you noticed?

And what about the fact that you always find an excuse to be at the same place as I am, and yet you never really hang out with me? I mean, come on, since when were you interested in the Science Club? I notice you when you come to club meetings. You never approach me and yet I can feel your gaze on me. I can feel your beautiful blue eyes, looking at me, watching over me.

Why are you suddenly so shy around me? Did you really think that you could act so out of character and no one would get suspicious? You used to come into my classroom and join in our conversation. Now you only stand outside, leaning against the opposite wall, just looking at me. My friends from class tease me about it, you know. And they love it even more when I blush and you smile in response. But they also warned me that I’m wasting my time. You’ll never truly be serious about me, they said. You’ll always be Kanagawa’s playboy.

I just don’t understand you. We used to be best friends and now you’ve distanced yourself from me and started hanging out with a new group. Yet you always find a reason to walk innocently by wherever me and me friends hang out. And when you do, you somehow always have this uncharacteristically shy smile on your face. I think I even saw you blush once. Oh, Lord, alert the press! Sendoh Akira can actually blush!

You might be wondering by now where I’m going with this. Well, let me tell you. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time. I’ve been meaning to tell you but I just didn’t know what to say.

I love you, Akira. I want you with me. I need you to be there for me, to hold me when I feel down. Because when you do, I somehow feel that everything’s all right. There’s no one else but you, Akira. No one else has ever occupied my heart the way you do. I don’t know how but you’ve managed to capture the key to my heart.

So why don’t you do something about it? I know you feel the same way for me, Akira. I can’t deny my feelings for you and you can’t deny yours. I can see it in your eyes, you know. Why do you suddenly feel the need to be shy? Come on, itoshi. Tell me how you really feel about me.

You, of all people, know me the best. And you know that I have enough pride to rival royalty. But for you, I am willing to risk everything, my pride, my heart and my love. I’ve made the first move. So now it’s your turn.. I’ll be waiting for you at our secret place, tonight at 8. And if you’re not there after an hour, I’ll know that you’re not ready. Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you, Akira. I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to find the courage to tell me how you feel.

Love,

Hiroaki

P.S. I’ve written the lyrics of a song I heard below. Somehow, I’m reminded of our situation when I hear it.

Tell Me How You Feel

You're on my mind, had another sleepless night

And all I think about is that I want you here and now

All I wanna say is that I want you in my life

I need you to hold me make me feel so right

There's no other love oh yea

You're everything that I'm looking for and more

So tell me why, why are you so shy

When you're walking right by, I get this feeling inside

Chorus
Baby I want you but I don't know what to say

I see you everyday when you come around my way

I want you to know that I'm in love with you

So baby come on, come on, and tell me how you feel

My friends say that I'm wasting my time

But I don't listen to them

Coz I know you're gonna be mine

They don't understand the feelings inside

All I want from you is that you give me a sign

Tell me how you feel, tell me how you feel

I can see it in your eyes when you're walking by

You feel me I feel you too

Why are u so shy when u walk by

I get this feeling inside

Chorus

Baby I want you but I don't know what to say

I see you everyday when you come around my way

I want you to know that I'm in love with you

So baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

I know that it's you that holds the key to my heart

And I don't what I would do if I can't have your love

How you feel

Chorus
Baby I want you but I don't know what to say

I see you everyday when you come around my way

I want you to know that I'm in love with you

So baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

Baby I want you but I don't know what to say

I see you everyday when you come around my way

I want you to know that I'm in love with you

So baby come on come on and tell me how you feel

Sendoh grinned like an idiot as he finished reading his Hiro-kun’s letter. Yes, his Hiro-kun. *Yosh! Tonight it is, then. Wait for me, Kosh.*

~Owari