01. You mourn the loss of a spiritual sister who was abducted by aliens, even though you are an only child.

02. You wear reading glasses like Scully's while at computer, even though you see worse with them on.

03. Your friends start calling you 'spooky'.

04. You write 'He is One' on your back in red ink, and wander around early in the morning to scare your family.

05. All your dreams start with something like 'Large grassy field, San Diego, CA, 10:21pm' and end with a voice over.

06. You persuade all your younger siblings that they are in fact the result of the government's experiments at creating the perfect alien/human hybrid.

07. You think the government tracks you because you know all about the 'secret tape' and what's behind door number 1013.

08. You call people you know who smoke 'Cancer Man' or 'Cancer Woman'.

09. You never stamp on cockroaches...

10. You know Scully's middle name and id number.

11. All your windows have large masking tape 'X's stuck on them.

12. 'X-Files' is a category in your budget.

13. You just want to believe.

14. You can recall Scully's breast size in your sleep - before and after her baby was born.

15. You won't go near a porta-potty.

16. You stay out of other people's shadows.

17. Your watch stops and you're happy about it!

18. While shopping for a birthday gift for your assistant director you wonder aloud, 'Now what would Mulder and Scully get for Skinner?'

19. You try to work 'exsanguination' into everyday conversation.

20. You see green goo on the floor and call out 'Who's bleeding?'

from HOME CINEMA CHOICE magazine.

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