photo by Laura Greenholt
1. What’s the deal with the Alf and Furby dolls at your gigs? I don’t get it!!!!
There is an unknown cosmic force that bounds Alf to Gordon’s Laboratory Band. Trying to figure out exactly what that unknown cosmic force is can cause unhealthy amounts of fecal waste to violently shoot out of your ears. It is best left unthunked. As for the Furby….it originated in the dark and murky depths of Mark Hansford’s kitchen. We put a joint in his mouth and shut his eyes half-way, therefore making him the Stoned Christmas Furby. He just looks so badass on stage with glb, and is rumored to have written all our greatest hits. If you are thinking “glb has great hits?” then you obviously haven’t heard us play Indubitably.
2. Why do you assholes always play at The Reader’s Café?
In agreement with the Maitland Convention legislation, we are legally bound to perform at the Reader’s Café as often as humanly possible. Derf Maitland, the evil literary sorcerer and keeper of my soul, charges an OUTRAGEOUS THREE DOLLARS to get in to a Gordon’s Laboratory Band show. In our eyes, that is a reasonable price for a person to pay for 3 hours of glb musical bliss. On the contrary, some have accused us of “selling out”. Well, you caught us…shit….hand in the cookie jar!!! We overprice our concerts…and play shitty music for 3 hours. Oh, but pay no heed to the free shirts we throw out, or the free CD’s we burn and distribute. A lawsuit against Napster is pending.
3. Hey dude, did you ever realize that GLB also stands for Gays, Lesbians, & Bisexuals??
No, I’ve never heard that one before. Thank you for sharing that thoughtful quip.
4. Will you play Everything Undone?
Suck it.
5. Where can I get a copy of your album?
Search and locate a friend who owns a copy of the album. Have them burn a copy for you. We honestly promote the idea of our albums being burned and distributed. Only about 85 original “Ribbit” albums exist, and were all sold during the 2001 Hanover Battle of the Bands.
6. How can I help???
Help is greatly appreciated in any way, shape, or form. E-mail the band and we’ll get flyers to you pronto. The greatest help of all is by spreading our CD around. Write our website on the disc as well….and just get our name out there. The little things like that can go a long way.
7. When can we expect a new album??
With each passing second we are closer to the recording studio. If you listen closely to the howling of the wind, you can distinctly hear the phrase “summer of 2004”. I don’t know if the wind is talking about the glb album or the release of Spiderman 2. Either way, someone’s gonna end up boinking Kirsten Dunst.