Miscellaneous pics taken throughout the past 4-5 years. Told through the eyes of our friend ( and good sport ) DERF MAITLAND, owner and foundner of Hanover's premier cafe, THE READER'S CAFE.
Hello, my name is Derf Maitland. When Gordon's Laboratory Band came to me and asked if I would do a commentary for their photo gallery, I jumped at the chance. After all these bastards owe everything they have to me anyway. However, they're good friends of mine and good musicians also. But then again, do I ever see them in my store - NO! Some friends, huh? But when they need a place to play, it's always "Oh Derf, can we please play there? You're our last resort, we've tried everywhere. We know you have nothing better to do than throw away your Saturday listening to some wanna-be jam band playing stupid songs about iguanas with STD's, and the twenty thousand girls that broke Justin's heart!" No, it's never, "Hi Derf, I just called to say hi" or "Hey Derf, no matter what your mother says, I don't think your life's a joke." Cause that'd be nice now and then! No, no one ever considers the astounding fact that I have feelings too!!! I make a damn good chicken tarragon sandwich and I drive a mini-van; I deserve more respect! I'll show them; I'll show everyone!!! Soon the world will know Derf Maitland and they WILL BOW BEFORE ME!!!!!!!!!
So anyway, enjoy the pics . . .
After taking 1st place in Hanover's "Battle of the Bands." While the band played good, my general feeling afterwards was that they wouldn't have pulled it off without Jordan Zeigler's masterful performance on the keyboard guitar.
After taking 1st place in the Delone Battle of the Bands. If you look real hard at the wall in the back, someone wrote "Derf Maitland is a sex machine!" The vandaliser was never caught but his allegations have proved to be true . . . time and time again.
Being an alumni of Delone Catholic, I know a great deal about the school. For instance, instead of the usual cracker and grape juice for communion, we'd eat a chicken wing and wash it down with drain cleaner. Me no rmembr much after else happened though . . .
One can only imagine the perverted things going through Josh's head at this moment. I'm sure though they involve Hardee's and trips to York.
You might be wondering why I'm not commentating about a show played at the Cafe. Actually, I've never told anyone this, but the Cafe is my personal hell. Coffee gives me the shits, and I HATE books. And also children.
Here's a pic of longtime friend/fan/"Hits From the Bong" vocalist, Koonster. I love the crowd, but sometimes they stay after a show WAY too long. I usually fire a warning shot into two unsuspecting fans and hang their corpses from the ceiling. After painting my body with the blood of the chosen, I run naked through the cafe yelling "My name is "Fred" spelled backwards" over and over. Usually this works like a charm, but if more drastic measures need to be taken, I warn the crowd to leave or I'll call in a bomb threat to Perkins.
Not many people know that Scotty Shepard enjoyed a brief 3 minutes with GLB as their keyboard player. Unfortunately, seconds after this pic was taken, Scotty axfixiated himself on his microphone. Actually everyone saw it coming, it's just we all could see the comic value in it. I haven't talked to him since, but I think he'd agree the two month hospital stay was worth the laugh. Haha, I mean, geez that's pretty funny. That ol' Scotty and his microphones . . . ah, I can still the remember the look on his face . . . oh man, hahaha, I can't think about it without coffee coming out of my nose.
It's an undeniable fact that the Real Mike Cannon is an integral part of GLB. There is much mystery surrounding his purpose. If you can spot Mike in this pic, I won't claim your soul.