THE PLAYERS:
Glenn
Nick
 

As I stepped off the subway platform, I suddenly
saw my life flash before my eyes. I could not believe
how goddamned BORING my life was. It only took anout five seconds to watch
my whole life. So as I was falling, since I had nothing better to do, I watched
the sky recede from me. I couldn't possibly comprehend
the portension of my ever-loving damned wastefulness. So I then
watched my life flash before my eyes again. Then I watched it a third time.
Then I hit the pavement. I was dead. Blood seeped from my corpse.
Wait -- I couldn't possibly be dead. I was still alive.
Yes, still alive. So I got up and went back to my car, where
I died. I was so dead. In fact, I was a walking corpse. I was
actually rotting. Maggots were crawling inside my heart. Yep, I was dead.
As I started picking the maggots out of my rotten body,
I realized -- I was dead. I was really dead. And to imagine
that I was dead. Wait -- I couldn't. Imagination is a trait of the living,
an exclusive club of which I was no longer a member. So I sighed -- so to speak.
I was no longer a member. Fuck. That's a command. Fuck!
Immediately! There's no sense in waiting. So go spread forth
my disease of death among the commoners. Yes, the black plague! Spread
the leprous disease among the putrid defiled commoner-scum-monkeys!
I don't know what I just said. Damn -- it was probably
important, too. Just my luck, eh? Anyway, there was a revelation
and then another one. There were actually many revelations... God told them
to John. Then John wrote 'em down, added a few interesting stories to spice it
up, and ate the paper. It was saddening, really --
I couldn't believe the paper was gone, just like that.
Then I remembered that I was dead, so I didn't have a memory. So I forgot
everything. Then I awoke... to find that I was still plunging to my death --
Fuck! Death! Again! Exclamations!! I couldn't die,
I just couldn't. Oh, well; I resigned myself to my fate and
slit my throat. But nothing happened -- because I was dead. So I
cut off my head and carried it around with me for effect. It was
revolting. My mother would have been so ashamed. The End.