THE PLAYERS:

Glenn
Nick
 

"I know why you've called me here," I said.
"You want me to know something, don't you?"
"No, what made you say that?" she replied, surrepticiously pointing at the sign that
said "Don't do drugs." "Are you... implying something?" I asked her.
"Yes. I'm implying that you murdered
my father! How could you do that to me?"
"What?" she cried. "You were the one who killed him! Then you screwed me!"
"What do you think I am, mom, Oedipus?" I screamed. "What's wrong with you?"
At that, she grabbed her chest, and
fell to the ground. I left nonchalantly,
which was bad because, as I said, I was on the ground (screwing Paul). So we screwed
our way back to my place, then we stopped for a short breather.
Yes. A "breather." That's what we used to
call out little "get-togethers." God, do I mourn him now.
His screwing, I mean. We're screwing right now. That's why my-- oh, God, that's it--
handwriting is so messed up. Anyway, back to the story. I was at home,
trying to convince my mother that I was in
fact not smoking weed. "Come on," I said, "You
know facts don't smoke weed. "That was when they put me in the strait jacket. "You are
crazy," they reassured me. "So we're going to put you away so you can't hurt anyone anymore."
"Hurt anyone?" I asked. "When was I hurting
anyone? All I want is a good fuck!"
"Watch your language, bitch," Paul said as he dug his nails into my back. But I only
responded, "Ooh, that tickles!" So he kicked me in the groin and ran off with his pants
tucked firmly in his mouth. I wholeheartedly
pursued, but I couldn't catch up with his
pants. So I gave up, gasping for air, bent over, hands on knees, hyperventilating. But that
was redundant because I have already stated that I was gasping for air and that is the
reason I had to kill my wife. Yes, I know that's
wrong tense agreement. So screw you! Anyway, I
--ho, wait, screw you again! Back to the story, the reader is jacking off. Back to the
story, the thin plot became ethereal and disappeared, because it, too, was bored with this.
So, back to the story, the reader stopped jacking off and fell asleep.