THE PLAYERS:
Glenn
Matt
 

As I saw Fluffy, my beloved cat, die slowly in my arms,
I vowed silently that I would gain vengeance upon
the infidels who stole my virginity. How was I supposed
to know that anal sex counted as sex sex? Anyways, after seeing
my wife viciously murdered, so soon after I lost my
cat, I needed to work faster on that vengeance thing.
So back to the sex, man was it rough. Anyway, I
decided to take something from them that would ruin their life
or not -- no one knew the future. Yet. At any rate,
I went to see my wife and my cat in the cemtary. They
died from dildo-inflicted wounds recieved
in porn fight. Now I'm all alone in the world
with no one to pleasure me. Well, except for maye
Mr. Banks, who would definitely, one hundred percent, always
go sailing on a Saturday morning. On his
boating adventures, he would fight pirates who,
unknowingly, opposed Glenn's evil empire-building.
Yes, those pirates sure were dead. In the aftermath, Banks
raided a nearby castle, saving a princess
who knighted hin Sir Banks of Fuckolot.
Banks took the honor honorably (that is to say, with honor).
Yes, that sure was surprising. So then I went to school
in hopes of finding Sir Fuckolot. As I walked to
C128 I was attacked by the giant Yaffe-Dragon
whose huge secret was finally revealed to all of us --
the only reason Yaffe was formidable was hus huge pentium processor.
Damn was that fast. Anyway, Banks jumped
and ran his sword into his USB
hub. Yaffe cried out in grief and then knelt, crying --
that was an expensive piece of equipment. Yaffe,
defeated and tired, called up dildo customer
support, wo agreed to replace the pants...
with steel gauntlets, and all was well. The End.