THE PLAYERS:
Glenn
Nikolai the Socialist
 

I ran to the school, eagerly awaiting the epic battle awaiting me.
Today, of all days, Sir Peter of Fuckolot would meet the Yaffe-Dragon
in an attempt to rescue the fair maiden GHia, also known as Lady
Acceleration-due-to-Gravity. In a classic action-reaction pair, the mountain pushed
up on the sky, which, in kind, flew off into space. I couldn't believe it!
The atmosphere was gone! What would I breathe instead of air?
I wasn't sure... bur Sur Fuckolot knew. Ether! So he moved ever closer to
the wicked Yaffe-Dragon and the fair maiden he'd captured. But when he arrived,
he got such a surprise as to surprise him. Instead of who he
had thought was captured, Yaffe actually captured... Mrs. Ulman!
"This is no not worth it," Fuckolot said, until he saw Mrs. Ulman. "Wow,"
he muttered, "noe I know why Mr. Ulman's horny all the time." He then
proceeded to my house, where he used physics to convert
random pieces of metal into armor. Oh, the gallantry if Sir Fuckolot!
Fuckolot, in stark fucking contrast to assholes who bend the rules
to complete their asinine statements. Anyway, Yaffe-Dragon was busy jacking
Mr. Shuck, and didn't see Sir Banks approach,
not until the attack was complete, Sir Banks' sword
lay in its sheath. Nasically, Fuckolot was dodging gooey wads of the
Yaffe-Dragon's... well, semen. It was gross. The Yaffe-Dragon was groaning. "Oh yeth,
yeth, yeth, YETH!!" I was utterly diasgusted.
Wait, didn't the dragon die at the hands of Sir Peter?
"Of course it had, but it had been jacking off at the time." Fuckolot
thought. His orgasmic cries were his last words... then Mrs. Ulman spoke. "Uh, I'm
very homosexual, and I just can't do this.
You see, I only married Arthur as a front so I could
fuck dragons. Man are they hung!" she said. "But this one was
not interested in sex. He was only interested in masturbation." She sighed.
"We are in love. Really, we are. It's just that
we love each other as friends. And no more than that."
Sir Peter Banks, AKA Sir Fuckolot, laughed. "How can you possibly be
'only friends?' The concept is laughable! I'll show you. How can you resist
this?" and she left. I was so lonely then.