THE PLAYERS:
Glenn
Matt
 

I looked at the body, laying dead on
the ground, and knew I'd finally be caught.
No longer could I be a porn star on the run. I
had to pack up the man-gina and accept my fate.
I ran as fast as I could to the car
lot; I needed a lift, and fast. The guy
agreed and picked me up over his head.
I said "Not that kind of lift,
I mean the kind that hurts you in the
ass! Geez, you sure are dense." I left the
male strip club and headed back to the
farm. Tipping the cows always made me relax
when I was angry. I wanted to do it again.
I decided to get a whore, a particularly
voluptuous one who enjoys sex with animals
and fruit cake. I searched the streets of Harlem
all night, but no one availed themselves
to my offer. I went to hell then and
immediately made friends with Satan who was in need
of a good friend. We began as friends but soon got more
"friendly," you could say, the night that
we were caught in the snowstorm. It was so cold,
my nipples were chafed and I became
very irritated. After rubbing chicken soup on them,
they began to feel better. Much
better. Then he confessed something--
"I'm a flaming homosexual and I have
been dating your dad for over a year now.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Actually, I only
did it to be closer to... well... you. I love you."
"Now listen man whore, I'm gonna pimp your ass!"