The Jello Story

The following is a transcript from a radio show on WLNO, a Christian station in New Orleans, which is hosted by my friend Jay, who is a DJ at the station. One night my friends Jon and Heather were visiting him at the station and got to guest host the show. During that time, our friend Bill called in and told a rather interesting story. Here is the transcript of that humourous event. (Note: This is not exactly word-for-word, but it's close enough.)

Jay: The HeartSound Magazine on New Orleans' most powerful Christian radio station, 1060 AM, WLNO. Jon boy, you wanted me to play that song. What was it?

Jon: It was good.

Jay: It was good?

Jon: It was good.

Jay: I threw you the cover, what's it say?

Jon: "Point of Grace, Live"!

Jay: Indeed it was live.

Jon: Yes it was!

Jay: What song did we play?

Jon: "Circle of Friends"

Jay: Hey hey, so far so good. I got a question, you know, just listening to you guys and Bill talking -- What's this jello story, or green jello, or whatever? Come on, I'm dying to know! Fill us in.

Bill (over the phone): Who wants to start?

Jay: I don't know.

Heather (to Bill): You!

Bill: Me?

Jay: You've got three minutes, so go.

Bill: I have three minutes?

Jay: Uh-huh.

Bill: Okay. I think I can sum this up. If anybody likes this story, call in, we'll try to let you hear it again. (Jay laughs) Basically, I had just gotten back from hockey practice one night, and I went over to a party, um, having a little bit of soda, and the second glass I had they put a couple of knockout drops in ... okay, a lot more than a couple. Well, I passed out, and needless to say the following morning, I woke up, I'm looking around, the room was light, I'm looking down and I'm green.

Jay: Green?

Bill: I'm green. I didn't know what the heck I was doing, so...

Jay: Well uh, what kind of green, Bill?

Bill: What was that?

Jay: What color of green?

Bill: Uh, lime green I think is a good color, but it was like really dark.

Jay: Eeeew!

Heather: Sort of like Gumby!

Bill: Yeah, I had that appearance, yeah!

Jay: Wow!

Bill: It was interesting.

Jay: I'll bet it was, to say the least!

Bill: So anyway... (laughs), let me finish this! I only have a couple of minutes!

Jay: Okay!

Bill: Um, anyway, I'm there, and I looked down and I decided I'm gonna try to move, and when I move my hand, and started to move around, the whole top of the bathtub I was sitting in was jiggling.

(Jay, Heather, and Jon laugh.)

Jay: I'll bet it felt kind of weird, too, huh?

Bill: A little bit chilly actually.

Heather: How about slimy?

Bill: Well actually it wasn't, really, it set pretty well.

Jay: Well what I wanna know is, how in the world can you fill a bathtub or whatever full of jello? How much jello did you guys make?

Bill: Oh, I don't know.

Jay: Where'd it come from?

Bill: You forgot, I was asleep.

(Jay and Heather laugh)

Jay: All right, I'm asking the two clowns here...

Heather: I don't know, we didn't do it to him!

Jay: Oh you didn't?

Heather: No!

Bill: No, this is going back way long before I knew Heather and Jon.

Jay: Oh, okay.

Heather: Jon just loves the story!

Jay: (laughs)

Bill: I've been hearing about this for months.

Jon: Jon heard it the first time he met Bill, so...

Bill: Yeah, well you can blame Heather for even having me bring the story up.

Heather: Well, you know I love the story too, Bill.

Jay: I gotta say, that's pretty funny, and whoever did it, you know, we need to give them a round of applause that they actually pulled it off. (Applause sound effect) Oh, whoever those clowns were! Go guys!

Bill: It was an ex-girlfriend if you must know.

(Jon and Heather laugh)

Jay: Oh, well then, pardon me!

Heather: Sweet revenge!

Jay: Oh Bill! Bill, Bill, Bill, shame on you son!

Bill: Am I allowed to plug myself on the air?

Jay: No, you're out of time!

Bill: Awww!

Jay: We'll have to save it again for another day!