The Top 12 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

12. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

11. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

10. "So...what are you wearing?"

9. "Duuuuuuude! Bummer!"

8. "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

7. "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes.  Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

6. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."

5. "I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

4. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

3. "Hold on a second....Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

2. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."

1. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

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