At some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb even intense disappointment can cause grief. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. These stages describe common emotional states that can occur following a major loss.
1. Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our
usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
2. Anger.
The grieving person may then be furious: at the person who inflicted the hurt
(even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry
with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing
could have stopped it.
3. Bargaining.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this,
will you take away the loss?"
4. Depression.
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
5. Acceptance.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply
accepts the reality of the loss.
Grief and Stress: During grief, it is common to have many conflicting feelings. Sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety and guilt often accompany serious losses. Having so many strong feelings can be very stressful.
Yet denying the feelings, and failing to allow yourself to grieve, is harder
on the body and mind than going through them. When people suggest "looking
on the bright side," or other ways of cutting off difficult feelings, the
grieving person may feel pressured to hide or deny these emotions. Then it will
take longer for healing to take place.
Recovering From Grief: Grieving and its stresses pass more quickly
with good self-care habits. It helps to have a close circle of family or friends.
It also helps to eat a balanced diet, drink enough non-alcoholic fluids, get
exercise and rest.
Most people are unprepared for grief, since so often, tragedy strikes suddenly,
without warning. If good self-care habits are always practiced, it helps the
person to deal with the pain and shock of loss until acceptance is reached.
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