Directions

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details "inside".

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down".

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness"

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". [As opposed to what?]

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". [I gotta admit, I'm curious].

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". [NEWS FLASH]

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

Pilfered from various e-mails.