| Title: Innocent Pawn
Feedback: Appreciated very much. E-mail Me Archive: Ask first, I'll say yes. Rating: PG for dark moments. Pairing: None. Summary: A piece from Scully's POV after she hears of Spender's death in "One Son." Notes: More angst coming. And there really isn't any Spender/Scully shippiness intended with this one. Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. Chris Carter, 1013, FOX, and people who are luckier than me own everything else. Big surprise. |
Innocent Pawn By Alison D/C: I don't own anything except the plot. Chris Carter and Fox and other people who are luckier than me own them. ~*~*~ I didn't cry when I found out the news. I mean, why would I? He was never important to me, at least not in a good way. I had never had a civilized conversation with him that didn't end up in an argument. I shouldn't have a reason to be sad. But as I walked around the office the next day, fingering the cold, black metal desk, a wave of sadness swept over me. Maybe it was because he was killed by his father. If you can call that walking display of lung cancer a father. Maybe it was because I never got to know him. I only knew his reputation. I guess I never took the time to talk to him. Funny, isn't it? Funny how you would never think of these things while the person is alive. You always think of them a day too late. Funny how you would never say these things to a person's face. Instead, you're trapped with these thoughts in your mind, leaving yourself to forever wonder what might have been. I excuse myself from the room for a second. Mulder looks at me a little funny, but I give him a look telling him I need to be alone. I go to the only place I know I can be in silence--the abandoned restroom in the basement. No one's gone in there for years, the plumbing's all wrong and the water only works half the time. Ironic that I should come here today of all days, to this place. In anger I kick one of the stall doors. I yell out curses to let out my feelings. I can see in my mind the blood falling when he got shot. I feel sick. He was never meant to be in that position. A position that if you screw up once, you're dead. He was too innocent, too young. He was never ready to take on that responsibility. He tried to act tough, but I could tell he was wondering how he got himself into that black hole of the conspiracy, sucking up his life, his freedom, his honesty. An innocent pawn in the game of saving your own ass. That's what he was. He got sucked up into it, believing he could help the world somehow, and ended up murdered in the end. I stop my cursing and kicking and kneel down on the floor. And I cry. FIN |