Growing up twisted
I don't recall how it happened. I'm not even sure if American XXX was the first porn channel that ever exposed my once innocent mind to the wonderful world of sex that would eventually lead to my discoveries of perversions and such. Now that I think about it one particular day does come into mind.
I was 8 maybe 9 years old and was staying in a Travel Trailer with my parents and older brother in
Port Isabel, TX. Ah, yes. I remember the day incontestably the more I think about it. The strong yet memorable smell of the sea overwhelms my olfactory senses as I walk along the shores of this tiny island located 30 minutes from my parents' two 1/2 story house in the outskirts of Brownsville. Walking along I stop over litter that has been carelessly strewn across the ground by careless and lazy beachgoers and washed up onto the shore by an also careless and only occasionally lazy sea current.
Among the litter I stumbled upon a worn nude photo of a woman in an old issue of Club magazine. I'm not even sure if I stumbled across it, I could've found it in my parents' bedroom but this is the way the story is going. However my memory fails me right now. I'm sure I didn't whip out my man wand and start beating off to the pic of the brazen buxom beauty with hair straight out of the 1980's. I was probably more excited that I had found something that I shouldn't have in my posession than I was aroused. Nah, I didn't start masturbating until I was ten years old.
Let's jump a few years ahead when I was 10. There was a nursesploitation porn flick on the Spice channel and one particular nurse, who was very attractive and who's name fails me, looked like a dead ringer for the health teacher I had in 5th grade. And to avoid turning this essay into a soft core porn story I'll just say that one thing left to another and I embarked on a wankfest that would last for hours.
You're welcome, don't mention it. I didn't mind typing any of that out for the world to read at all.
I do remember feeling guilty about a lot of things but one in particular. I would always feel extremely guilty at the fantasies I would have. I was a preteen and would fantasize about girls in my class. It felt wrong since they were so young but then again so was I and that didn't make me a pedophile. Ah, what the hell am I saying? I volunteered to help out at basketball games at my junior high school so I could stand close to the cheerleaders when they did that pyramid stance.
Come to think of it I was a very horny little bastard as a kid. I remember in high school as a sophomore I believe that I became fed up with having an erection push against my slacks that I relieved myself on a school bus which is the only time I've ever done so in public. It had to be done. It's more embarrasing to walk off of a school bus and into school with stains on my pants then it was for me walking in with my backpack placed in front of my crotch. How charming!
Amazingly I've never been walked in on while I was doing the deed. However, I'm 22 now and still have more time on my ....uh... hands. So until I get a job and get back in school to study Psych I'm going to update this page daily.
But I digress. Just because I'm stopping now doesn't mean that there isn't a lot more to tell.
Trust me.