| this is the story of many people, many you may know, many you may not, but specifically focusing on the night of four young men, michael, jesus, rob, and travis. and the best night they have ever encountered (and it didnt invlove sex...yet).this nihgt is april 27th, 2001, the first annual PENIS PALOOZA. these words may not fulfill you with the desire for knowledge of these four peoples lifes, or it may just sound stupid. but remember, it is being written by a very very NON sober travis, with help of rob! (who IS sober). also, we just wrote like a 50 page long story, and the computer crashed, this our second attempt, hopefully it will make it to the board, and you will be reading a little piece of this mystery we known as our lives.
so now on to the tale...
It all started around 6. lost for words had already unpacked and some people were just hanging out at the site for the soon to be rockin backyard of the first "penis palooza ever". we had to wait like 1 hour and 30 minutes until the silent heroes would arrive and music would begin. we merrily passed the time with some hoop shootin and peepin wit homeys and just jerkin around. it was good times. finally the silent oreos arrived in there pimp silent mobile, silenter then batman! (seriously!). it was all crazied out and they set up...like rockstars! they played an awesome set and rocked with the help of there banana man and what not. then lost for words came...(not like ejaculated "came" but got set up to play "came") they supposedly rocked...but im in the band, so i cant show my bias here. overall it was a very very fun time, with good friends, good food, good music, and even the silent oreos!
the music ended...people slowly faded away. few remained to restore michaels backyard to the former habitat of desert wildlife and wonderful grass that it once was. and we ate more potatoe chips too. then yadda yadda, the oreos left sometime earlier except nick. and me (travis) and jesus ran to his house and busted out with the acoustic. we were still sober at this time though. then we got back and travis with his acoustic guitar playing and singing and the assistance of robs backup vocalings led the remaining people (or those who participated anyway) in great serenades of songs like bushes glycerine and various dashboard songs. it was one of those kodak moments that i will cherish forever, i wish the quiet oreos were there to share it too. i love them anyway. we had muchos funos. then crazy stuff happened and all of a sudden we were packing into katies moms van (and her mom wasnt getting back till sunday). supposedly we were going to a party, as nick and steph has sex or sumthin michael dawg, jesus your lord savior dawg, and travisimo dawg proceeded to "do their homework". the van was filled with mystical fairy gasses and thick clouds of rainbow joys! however rob and nick and kevin and those other dudes kept to their sorberity and just woodled up on red bull instead. but m, t, and j were in cheeeeba heaven. then stephy our mommy bought us munchies and stuff, and it was grrrreat. mm red vines, and pretzels that didnt taste like pretzels and peanuts, it was cool. then we were goin to a party or sumthin and the van still stunk (as micheal jesus and i still do now). we got to the place and there was cops er sumthin and we just followed chris or sumthin. so then we decided to do the remainder of our "homework". good times, great oldies! and then rob suggested we goto this wonderful land of women known as hooters. we fulfilled his request and we journey to the land of owl eyes which jesus insisted were titties. ps. we think michael might be wackin off right now cus he just left...ok back to the story. we were in hooters and rob bought travis some good curly fries and himself some wings (gross). and rob was insufficient in pourin the ketchip so I had to teach him the proper method of hitting the 57, this is known has "ketchuping". by the time the fries had arrived rob had mastered this technique and made travis proud. maybe even travis's grasshopper sensai chris, who had taught him "ketchuping". then jesus was all wierd and drank ketchup through a straw and we saw tom morello on like sports night and all sorts of crazy skinny girls with asses hangin out. then we left or sumthin. and we stared at the sky and red lights and it was neat. and michael though he was gonn throw up or sumthin but we left in the van and he didnt. instead him and jesus sang lovely ballads of country music in the backseat, with travis in the middle sleeping...or sumthin, i dont remember what i was doing. now michael is back, he claimed he dumped but we think he masturbated...ok now back to the story. and now we are all laughing cus he finnaly read it, ok seriously, back to the story...where was i, whos on first, whats on second...ok ummm, ya then we decided we would all go chill at robs so we headed there, and sobering and not come into effect at all. so we sneak down stairs into robs (peepz was sleepin yo) and rob told me how he had super mario 3 for nes and i got super excited. but then he bloweded and bloweded and bloweded and it still wouldnt work! so we played teenage mutant ninja turtles instead. travis geared up as raphiel who is much much better then leonardo (the guy jesus chose). jesus was being stupid and jumping around so i had to fend off all the bad guys. then rob taught me the double button one hit kill crazy super attack thingy, i mastered it and he taught this in return for me teaching him the "ketchuping" technique. so i mastered that and jesus sucked at it, so rob took over. wee got all crazy fresh and kicked beebops ass, but when we got to rocksteady we couldnt take it and we silently perished, like those oreos or sumthin, silent...what? ok anyways. we then snuck upstairs (just me and robbypoo) and left jesus and michael to do watever. and we hopped in the GEM car and friggen went crazy around the golf course. we hit up THE DROP and headed over to THE ROLLERCOASTER all this madness and we pulled 4 360's and many powerslides and donuts and stuff. rob had only done one 360 before and now he has them wired thanks to my support and talkin through in the car, he couldnt have done it without me, he loves me, really, he does. so then we came back and michael crashed robs computer and then they started playin pool and me and rob got on his computer and began typing our big long adventurous story. he was sober...i am still not. we neared the end, and bam, frozeness has struck us like a baseball bat in the nuts or sumthin, it was not crazy fresh yo. so we were mad, but i was determined to get this story to all of you people. so we headed upstairs to end up here. telling you about our lives, when you may not even know who the hell we are, you have now experienced a part of us, and all our lives, and a memory we will cherish forever. and we love eachother and all of you and the quiet oreos and everyone! I LOVE YOU ALL DAMMIT< WE ALL LOVE YOU!!!
and this may have moved you...you may have thought it was stupid...you may have thought it was funny...or maybe you just couldnt understand because im sitting here getting dizzy and feeling fuzzy, nowehere near being sober, rob is the only one who is, thank goodness for him here to protect us, now im jsut rambling like rambo, bam bam. so im gonna go now, we all are, we are goin to continue our journey in this world, through our lives, watching porno at michaels. that is our goal, we must journey across the golf course at whatever time it is now (like 2;30?) sure, watever, i suck, ya, this beter not crash, and they are laughing at me because i stopped to make a gay handmotion, well anyways, we love you
and hopefully now you love us to
bye
ilove you
love
-rob the sober guy, micheal (hes running his finger through my hair...i have a boner now...shit..wheres jonny bravo dammit! he said oh my god and stopped, now hes doing it again, ahhhhhh) jesus the dude who drinks ketchup and is just sitting back there laughing. and me, travisimo, the guy who wrote all this wonderfulness and im still very very deeply effectd from all that homework, and micheal is still running is fingers through my daily conditioned hair, yes, daily conditioned, he said it smells nice, lather, rinse, repeat, yep, thats the key, anyway, we must go to michaels now...goodbye, and so long
-travis |
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