Title: Afterlife
Part title: The Last Moment

Author: GMB loves Angel

Spoilers: Iwry (as always), the last four eps of Angel season 2, the bachelor party, Hero, the gift... that's kinda it...

Rating: PG-13

Timeline: A few months after the gift...

Authors notes: This fic series will go between two worlds. Here's my version of what happened after the gift... I admitt it I'm completely hung up in Pylea... Iwry happened a season after than it did in the show...

Dedication: To Dawnie, for her wish for a new part... And to Sarah Mclachlan, because her CD, Fumbling Towards Extacy is playing in the background and it's very inspiring... And to Sarah for her brilliant acting in "The gift". Makes me cry everytime I watch it...

- Angel. I think it's time you name her…

Angel looked up from one of his brooding moments, where he imagined himself and Buffy and the baby, together as a family. This time it had been a green meadow, a little dog running around, while their eldest daughter was playing with it. Him and Buffy were busy with number two. A baby boy with grass stains all over his white shirt. The sun shining and he was human. He had Shanshued. All of a sudden, he was back in his dark office, the eldest girl, who had played with the dog was just an infant and Buffy was nowhere to be seen.

- I'm sorry. Did you say something?

- Yeah, I did. You've had her for three weeks now. Isn't it time she has a name. I'm pretty tired of calling her the baby. And she won't be a baby forever.

- I know, he answered, thinking of that strong girl in his daydream. - I just wish Buffy was here. I'm sure she had a name ready and I don't want to give her a wrong name…

- Angel, how can a name given to her by her father, be wrong? You can't wait around for Buffy. One day we'll find her. I'm not sure how, but we'll find a way, but it won't be today or tomorrow. How long it's gonna take, but not so little time that we can keep on calling her the baby…

She was being honest. He liked that with her. Everyone else in the crew always tried to give him false hope, but Cordy knew it was wrong and said it from the gut. She didn't promise him things that she knew never would happen. He turned his focus back to his little baby girl. Cordelia was so right that it was painful. In ancient traditions to be given a name was the most thing when a baby was born. A name was protection from bad spirits. It gave a sense of belonging. Maybe it was that… He felt that she wouldn't truly belong her until he had them both there. But Cordelia was right. It could be a long time until he found her. He wouldn't give up, but he couldn't let his daughter live without a name any longer.

- Lucy, he practically whispered.

- What?

- I want to name her Lucy. What do you think?

- Lucy, Cordelia said carefully, kind of tasting it. - I like it.

- Then it's official. From this day forward, her name's Lucy.

It felt like a burden lifted the minute he announced the name. But he didn't want it to be lifted. Not yet, not while Buffy sat somewhere in ignorance about where her daughter had gone. If he could only find her. He felt like he should do something, but there was nothing else to be done. Wesley was researching it day and night. What could he do? He wanted to look for her, but there was no clue to where she might be. Angel had difficulties believing that Wesley would find out which dimension even with his research. But he didn't want to give up. Giving up would be the worst thing in the world. At that moment Wesley asked him to come and help him with something.

- What do you need my help for?

- I need you to call the gang in Sunnydale. I would do it myself, but you were much closer than I was. I need some information about Buffys death to figure out where she might have been sent. I need exact information. It's very essential.

- Ok…

Angel walked over to the phone. It took less then five seconds before the phone was answered.

- H-hello?

- Can I speak to Willow, Angel asked, wondering who this was. Someone he'd never met, that's for sure. Maybe it was Tara. He'd never met her, but he'd heard of her. Willows girlfriend. That was probably it.

- S-sure, she said, disappearing from the phone. Half a minute later someone else picked up the phone. - Hello?

- Willow?

- Hi, Angel. I started to wonder who this was. Tara said it was a strange guys voice. I didn't even think that it could be you, because you never call… um, why are you calling?

- It's about Buffy. Wesley's researching her death and need the information from you who were there.

- Oh… then you might want to speak to Dawn, she was the only one up there, when Buffy jumped. She can tell you the closer info. She's still pretty shook up, thinking it's her fault.

Angel couldn't utter a word. Willow didn't tell Angel exactly how Buffy had died. He had just assumed it was in a huge fight. Willow had said it involved a God and everything. So he had assumed Buffy had died in direct battle with her. But to hear that she had jumped? No, that couldn't be it. It took a whole minute before he had Dawn in the phone.

- …Spike was thrown off the Tower and the guy took the knife and cut me…

Angel couldn't believe that Spike had been there… Spike. And he'd fought with Buffy on her side. While he had been in a whole other dimension.

- …Buffy cut me loose, helped me slowly towards the stairs. It hurt so much. I could feel the blood running, then it happened. It opened the portal…

He was still hung up on the fact that Spike had been there instead of him and Spike was evil. He was evil and still he'd been there fighting at Buffys side. That should have been him…

- …I tried to jump. I knew that it wouldn't stop until I was dead anyway, so I figured it would be better to die at once, closing the portal for good as I was dying anyway, but she held me back. She wouldn't let me. I told her to look around at what was happening and she turned around. The sun was going up. She turned to me…

It was like he wasn't there anymore. It was like the Powers wanted him to see it, because all of a sudden he could see the scene and hear it. He saw the Sun going up. It was big and Red, behind a fog. Demons kept coming out of the portal underneath them, which looked like a huge ball of light. He saw her face. Her beautiful face. The wind went through her hair. Then he saw Dawn. She was cut and the blood was still running down her dress, feeding the portal. He saw the fear in Dawns eyes. She shook her head, tears in her eyes…

- Buffy, no…

- Dawnie, I have to…

- No …

- Listen to me, please, there's not a lot of time, listen… I love you, I will always love you. This is the work that I have to do… Tell Giles that… Tell Giles, I figured it out, and I'm ok… And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong… Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it… Be brave… live… for me…

He saw her kissing Dawns cheek, so gently. Then he saw her turning around, running towards the edge of the Tower and he saw her jump. He saw her and felt her pain inside it as her life was drained from her body. And he saw her body lying on the ground, lifeless… He saw Anya pressing herself towards Xander who stood straight up, not quite believing what he was seeing. He saw Willow mellowed in tears in the arms of an other girl. Probably Tara.. He saw Giles standing there, crying. He'd never seen Giles cry the whole time he'd known him. He saw Dawn holding her hand on her wound, crying and shaking. And he saw Spike, cut and bloody. Even he was crying. Spike was a soulless vampire, who had a lot of macho issues and even he was crying. Then everything went dark for a while. He could feel her pain and confusion. Then he saw with her eyes colors, a bit blurry…

Right before he could see it clearly, Dawn interrupted him, with asking him if he was still there… He hurried to finish the conversation. He wanted back to the vision or whatever it had been, but there was nothing. He never got to see what it looked like. He'd only seen some brightness, blue, orange and a lot of green… At least it was somewhere green. She had daylight with her. He felt tears going down his cheek. This had been her last moments. Her last words. They had only been meant for Dawn to hear, but now he had heard them, too. She had thought of everyone besides herself. She had sacrificed herself for her sister.