A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at two in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde) picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some young woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

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A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next."

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A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."

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A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! you'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

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The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

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One day a blonde is sitting in her apartment when the doorbell unexpectedly rings. She answers the door and finds a salesman standing on her porch with a strange object in his hands. "What is that?" she asks. "It's a thermos," the salesman replies. "What does it do?" asks the blonde. "This baby," the salesman says, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." After some deliberation the blonde bought one, deciding it would really help her lunch situation. The next day she arrives at her office. Sure enough, her friends were curious about her new object. "What is it?" they asked. "It's a thermos," she replied. "What does it do?" they asked. "Well," she says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." "What's in it,?" they asked. To which she says, "Three cups of coffee and a Popsicle."