TO MY DEAR WIFE During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

• 54 times the sheets were clean
• 17 times it was too late
• 49 times you were too tired
• 20 times it was too hot
• 15 times you pretended to be asleep
• 22 times you had a headache
• 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
• 16 times you said you were too sore
• 12 times it was the wrong time of the month
• 19 times you had to get up early
• 9 times you said weren't in the mood
• 7 times you were sunburned
• 6 times you were watching the late show
• 5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
• 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
• 9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

• 6 times you just laid there
• 8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
• 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
• 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
• 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

Click Here to Hear the Wife’s Reply