A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and 
out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, 
"Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." 

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an 
asthmatic.  If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." 

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a 
blood sample." 

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that,  I'll bleed to death." 

"Well, then, we need a urine sample." 

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. 
If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." 

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." 

"I can't do that, officer." 

"Why not?" 

"Because I'm drunk." 
 

Quick Wit:

I used to go fishing until it struck me: You can buy fish. 
What the hell am I doing in a boat at four-thirty in the 
morning? If I want a hamburger, I don't track people down.
Kenny Potchenson