• 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed.
• 30% of the time it is hard up.
• 20% of the time it is pissed off.
• 10% of the time it's in the hole.

It has two dependents, but they're nuts.

Effective January 1, 2000, penises will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:

• 10"-12" Luxury Tax
• 8"-10" Pole Tax
• 5"-8" Privilege Tax
• 4"-5" Nuisance Tax

Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

Issues still under consideration are as follows:

• Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
• Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
• Are condoms deductible as work clothes?