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September 30 - "Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness." --Robertson Davies September 29 - "Architecture is the art of how to waste space." --Philip Johnson
September 28 - "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." --John A. Simone Jr
September 27 - " Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." --Ellen DeGeneres
September 26 - "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again." --Unknown, Marin County newspapers TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz"
September 25 - "There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people." --Muhammad Ali
September 24 - "I grew up being suffrocated by suburbia. What I do now definitely has its roots in all that -just wanting to blow it all up. Maybe I'm having a joke on suburbia but I have also come to suburbia." --Diarmuid Gavin
September 23 - "It's not the thing you fling. It's the fling itself. Let's fling something!" --Robin Green, Northern Exposure
September 22 - "Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else >is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity." --Christopher Morley
September 20 - "Shouldn't each country fight only for itself and be free to choose what to do? Surely the aim of war should be only that for freedom!" --Candles at Dawn
September 19 - " How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?" --Charles De Gaulle
September 18 - "In our family, happy usually involves gunfire and at least two patrol cars showing up." --Randy K. Milholland
September 17 - "The unconscious is our best collaborator." --Mike Nichols
September 16 - "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." --John Benfield
September 15 - "To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best." --Margaret Thatcher
September 14 - "The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." --Doug Larson
September 13 - "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." --Samuel Butler
September 12 - "Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony." - Robert Benchley
September 11 - "The writer merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality. He knows the selected locality, and he trusts that he can plunge those people into incidents with interesting results." - Mark Twain
September 10 - "Earth is a crap sandwich." - Greenpeace commercial
September 9 - "I've always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible position." - Pat Conroy
August 30 - "Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." - E. B. White
July 27 - "If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." – Johnny Carson
July 25 - "Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukelele." -- Bagdikian's Observation
July 24 - "Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone." -- Hodding Carter
July 23 - "I would have thought stand up comic with glasses was as cute as you could get." -- Greg Proops
July 22 - "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." -- Hunter S. Thompson
July 21 - "Well of course, winning is great, but it's not funny. And there are no happy endings in my stories because happiness, too, isn't funny." -- Charles Schultz
July 19 - "Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do." -- Jean-Paul Sartre
July 18 - "Anyone who works is a fool. I don't work - I merely inflict myself upon the public." -- Robert Morley
July 17 - "Thankyou God, for letting me become my own worst nightmare, a cross between Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and some sort of social leper geek woman." -- Victoria Shepworth, Single White E-Mail
July 16 - "All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind." -- Aristotle
July 15 - "A lot of art is boring." - T-shirt worn by "I Love the 90s" panelist
July 14 - "We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict." -- Jim Morrison
July 13 - "The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers." -- Lewis Thomas
July 12 - "Well, you've got to have some fucking reason for getting up in the morning." -- Philip Larkin (on his alcoholism)
July 11 - "A fact is a simple statement that everyone believes. It is innocent, unless found guilty. A hypothesis is a novel suggestion that no one wants to believe. It is guilty, until found effective." -- Edward Teller
July 10 - "The writer merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality. He knows the selected locality, and he trusts that he can plunge those people into incidents with interesting results." -- Mark Twain
July 9 - "The only people who are afraid of file sharing are the people whose albums are so dull presentation-wise that nobody cares about owning the actual finished product, and the people who have so little connection to their listeners that said listeners have no reason to care whether the artists they like are getting reimbursed for their efforts." -- John Darnielle, singer/guitarist for The Mountain Goats (an American independent band)
July 8 - "The only people who are afraid of file sharing are the people whose albums are so dull presentation-wise that nobody cares about owning the actual finished product, and the people who have so little connection to their listeners that said listeners have no reason to care whether the artists they like are getting reimbursed for their efforts." -- John Darnielle, singer/guitarist for The Mountain Goats (an American independent band)
July 7 - "Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock." -- John Barrymore
July 6 -"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." -- Jack London
July 3 - "I am myself and if I have to hit my head against a brick wall to remain true to myself, I will do it." -- Marlon Brando
July 2 - "I have found little 'good' about human beings. In my experience, most of them are trash..." -- Sigmund Freud
July 1 - "It's a bummer. Everything about it-the war, scientists constantly telling you the planet's fucked-and at a certain point I can't do anything about that. And you've got to remember that life is still sweet." -- Isaac Brock, lead singer of Modest Mouse
June 30 - "Make sure the lubricant is unscented. Don't join fashionable 'schools of thought.' Read everything." -- Zadie Smith (with her advice for young people.)
June 29 - "I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it." -- Steven Wright
June 28 - "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." -- Chuck Jones
June 27 - "I'm not mad, I'm creative." -- Paul Kerr (Craig Ferguson) I'll Be There
June 26 - "I've always said Thomas Edison invented the movie camera to show people killing and kissing." -- Quentin Tarantino
June 25 - "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." -- John A. Simone Sr.
June 24 - "The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible." -- Jean Kerr
June 23 - "I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building." -- Charles M. Schulz
June 22 - "Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true." -- Solomon Short
June 21 - "Never fight an inanimate object." -- P. J. O'Rourke
June 20 - "There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." -- Doctor Who
June 18 - "Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege." -- Unknown
June 17 - "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." -- A. A. Milne
June 16 - "Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral." -- Robert Orben
June 15 - "Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." -- Douglas Adams
June 14 - "Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped." -- Sam Levenson
June 13 - "But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -- Carl Sagan
June 12 - "I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere." – Unknown
June 11 - "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -- Steven Wright
June 10 - "The more one is hated, I find, the happier one is." -- Louis-Ferdinand Céline
June 9 - "People don't start wars, governments do." -- Ronald Reagan
June 8 - "I've made a weird deal with the world. It's going to fuck with me - and I'm going to sit here and act like I'm not surprised." -- Macaulay Culkin
June 7 - "God is not dead but alive and well and working on a much less ambitious project." -- Anonymous
June 6 - "Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering." -- R. Buckminster Fuller
June 5 - "The more I think about it, the more I agree with the bees: worship the Queen and kill the unemployed." -- Arthur Lotti
June 4 - "I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world." -- Georges Duhamel
June 3 - "I was one of those kids no matter how hard I tried at things I was always mediocre." -- Elle, Big Brother 2004
June 2 - "Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos." -- Don Kardong
June 1 - "There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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