Q: Do you guys know each other?
A: Not really. We’ve never met. Not that that’s stopped us.

Q: What is it with Brad being in his underwear in all your fics?
A: It’s a good image...

Q: Is Harriet really Australian?
A: Only when she hasn’t taken her pills.

Q: Where do you get your ideas.
A: You really don’t wanna know…

Q: Why fondue?
A: Why not? You have issues with cheese products?

Q: What does sarced mean?
A: Oh gee, is it that hard to comprehend...in a sarcastic manner, you tool.

Q: What does tool mean?
A: Look in the mirror.

Q: Is there really a Gnome?
A: No, her name is first in the site name because she's Harriet's imaginary friend. (see: tool)

Q: What is it with you guys and Greg Proops?
A: What is it with you and the 20 questions? Why aren't you reading the stories? We go to all this effort and look at you… (see: tool)

Q: Why do you keep insisting you are demented?
A: Hello, have you seen the site and read the fics?

Q: What's with the demented thought of the day?
A: You have a better idea? Please share so we can mock you.

Q: What does bolshie mean?
A: Look it up in the dictionary, you lazy bastard.

Q: When is Gnome going to do some pictures?
A: When the straight jacket is off and the dosage is down.

Q: Did Gnome draw all the pictures herself?
A: No, her pet monkey Harold does the pictures, Gnome just eats the charcoal.

Q: Who is Paul McDermott, and why was he written into Downunder and Backwards?
A: says Harriet: “A sex god.” (see picture)
Paul is an Australia comedian/singer and a good pal of Greg's.

Q: Where does the name Ritza come from?
A: There are several answers to this question and none of them are true; let's just say it was a stroke of genius on Harriet's behalf.

Q: Where do the names “Hitchhikers” and “Echoes” come from?
A: Hitchhikers, as well as the names Fenny and Arthur, came from a series of books by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Promise me you’ll read them? Thank you, I’ll keep you to that. As for Echoes…can’t a girl keep a secret anymore? It’s not terribly vital to the story line, now is it? Stop being so nosy!

Q: Mochrie's Eleven is nothing like Ocean's Eleven, why?
A: It's called “plagiarism,” look it up.

Q: How do you manage to update your stories so often?
A: We're unemployed artists, it helps pass the time.

Q: Do you have any methods for successful fanfiction writing?
A: Eat lots of buttery baked goods, plenty of yoga and the continuous playing of “To Sir With Love” on laser disc.

Q: Go on, be serious and tell us, who you think is the sexiest “Whose Line” guy?
A: Does the fact we mention Brad in his underwear or naked more times than anyone else tell you nothing?

Q: Harriet, you use a lot of Australian terms in your "Downunder" fics. Can you explain them?
A: Harriet says: “I try to do that in the fic itself, but if there's anything you're stuck on leave a message and I'll do my darndest to explain it.”

Q: What's your views on the war in the Middle East?
A: Harriet says: “I say we send Greg Proops in to sort them out!”
Greg Proops: “Look, you religious psychopaths, there's enough land for you all. I know the Palestinians are crazy bastards and the Israelis are fucking mental, but it’s time you all chilled out. Ease up dudes, 'cos the whole ‘killing innocent people’ thing just isn't cool.”

Q: What do you think of other fanfiction writers?
A: There are just as many brilliant ones as there are terrible ones. The best fanfiction writers are those with original ideas and who don't result to the usual “car crash,” “death” and “if I met them” fics.

Q: The website looks fantastic, which one of you designed it?
A: The Gnomester gave up her life to create this masterpiece. She literally shed blood, sweat and tears for your entertainment...SO BE GRATEFUL!

Q: Wouldn't it be great if they actually made a show like “The Originals?”
A: Of course! Who doesn't want to see Tony Slattery back in the throes of improvisation?
Harriet: “I'm personally rooting for the return of Richard Vranch.”
Gnome: “I’d like to hear him talk!”

Q: What's with Lewis and the Buzz Beer in “13 Ghosts”?
A: It’s a running gag, where he's producing it from is anyone’s guess.

Q: Colin can't be “The Canadian” as he is Eugene in the Drew Carey Show.
A: Screw you!

Q: Don't you think labeling Wayne “the token black guy” is slightly offensive?
A: says Harriet: “Doesn't offend me.”

Q: I loved “Counting Sheep,” it was so cute, where did you come with the idea?
A: You obviously missed the summary. (see: tool) And it is not cute, thank you, that word has been banished from Gnome’s vocabulary. Say it again and she’ll come after you with her tuning fork.

Q: Are you any of the “Whose Line” guys under a pseudonym?
A: Damn, you caught us out! We're actually Greg and Brad in our spare time.

Q: Why all the colorful underwear?
A: Well, you gotta have a theme…

Q: How did Harriet help with “No Longer Strangers”?
A: says Gnome: “She poked me in the back of the head with the business-end of a pineapple until I finished it. Then she proofread it, told me I sucked, and then gave it to Harold the Monkey to fix.”

Q: Who are you guys really?
A: Gnome is really Marya Leary, an internationally renowned artist and sometimes graphic designer. She frequents Paris and Amsterdam and is currently working on her 12th masterpiece titled simply, “Seven Years in Therapy.”
Harriet is actually Shirley Granville, best selling author of Lime Green and Sheer. She resides in Sydney's trendy North Shore and is currently working on her fifth novel, Brown Pants.

Q: Harriet, where do you come up with those plot twists?
A: I wasn't held enough as a child.

Q: What do you think of “global warming”?
A: Not much. We're sure he's lovely, though, and we'd be happy to meet for a drink.

Q: Can I get a tattoo like Brad's in “Downunder and Backwards”?
A: Yes you can. Although, as it was completely fictional, that might be considered a bit sad.

Q: What is a polyp?
A: A small sea creature that has a hollow cylindrical body with a ring of tentacles around the mouth.

Q: Is Adelaide really known as “the City of the shallow grave”?
A: says Harriet: “Oh yeah, people always getting bumped off. Most serial murders in the Southern Hemisphere.”

Q: Do Australians really call Americans “Septic Tanks”?
A: All the time, it’s rhyming slang for “yanks.”

Q: Why is Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter so mental?
A: He spends far too much time in the sun, and rumour has it he was taken in by dingoes as a child.

Q: How come Russell Crowe didn't win the Oscar?
A: Because the Academy decided to be “politically correct” (bastards).

Q: Whatever happened to Harold Holt?
A: It’s a mystery, some say he was taken by a shark, others say he drowned, some say he swam to Fiji. All we know is he has a memorial swimming pool named after him.

Q: You mentioned plagiarism before and yet you seem to have plagiarized “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”?
A: And you can do better? “Rocky Horror” is so fabulous, it’s a shame to take away what makes it brilliant. Besides, isn't the image of Brad in gold panties the best?

Q: You make a point of mentioning music in your fics, is there anything specific that you listen to?
A: Yes, lots of Chinese opera and the Gnomester has a fetish for panpipe renditions of popular songs.

Q: Where do you come up with those crazy chapter titles?
A: Most are based in stuff that appears in the chapter, some are song titles (eg, Shut Up/Kiss Me and Let Me Down Easy). Others are merely demented things that pop into the writers’ heads.

Q: So how do you collaborate? Is there a workshopping method?
A: Yes, we write a basic summary and then Harold takes over followed by a final edit by Harriet's gerbil Fondsworth.

Q: Is there something you've written that you look back at and can't believe you did?
A: Harriet says: “Ryan as Felicity Shagwell...what was I thinking?”
Gnome says: “Um, no comment, thank you, take it up with my lawyer, could you people get out of my way, the limo’s waiting…”

Q: Who writes these f.a.q?
A: Our crack team of chimpanzees and a couple of lemmings.

Q: If you were a fruit what would you be?
A: Gnome would be a kumquat and Harriet a pineapple.

Q: Why do men have nipples?
A: The jury is still out on this one and we're hoping for the carrier pigeon with the results to appear soon.

Q: What do you think of FanFiction.net?
A: Evil. Pure evil. Pure, unadulterated evil.

Q: Do you have an opinion on “slash” fiction?
A: Yes, we have many. Most of them revolve around “Skin crawling,” “How could someone imagine Colin and Ryan doing that,” and “Why would someone imagine Colin and Ryan doing that.”

Q: Where do the names “Gnome” and “Harriet” come from?
A: Gnome spends much of her time sporting tights and sitting by ponds with a fishing rod. Harriet's other hobby is solving mysteries and stalking.

Q: Where's Osama Bin?
A: says Harriet: “He's bin nowhere.”
says Gnome: “You really are demented, Monroe.”

Q: We know you like Whose Line is it Anyway? But what other television programmes do you like?
A: What other television programmes?

Q: How do you guys think up such funny situations for your fics?
A: We've told you, its all down to Harold and Fondsworth!

Q: What do you guys think about alcohol? As it’s mentioned frequently in your fics, but your female characters never drink it?
A: Harriet: “Do you honestly think we need it?”
Gnome: “We could be role models.”
Harriet: “Oh Lord!”

Q: Are you guys dating anyone?
A: Would we be doing this if we were getting laid on a frequent basis?

Q: Considering you live in two different countries, how did you meet?
A: Harriet says: “Gnome took the liberty to point out something in one of my fics; she was right of course but I've never admitted it.”

Q: How long does it take you to write a chapter?
A: Harriet says: "Depends if the ideas are flowing, usually an hour or two, if that."
Gnome says: “I agonize over my writing, and it takes me forever…I have to do it in little bursts over like a 2 day period, unless I’m tremendously inspired. Writing-wise, Harriet and I are total opposites.”

Q: You rarely ever mention the "Whose Line" guys’ families, why?
A: It feels like an invasion of their personal lives. They are in the limelight which, in some respects, leaves them open to this kind of thing. But their families are kept out of it and should be left as such.

Q: Is cricket really as boring as all hell?
A: Harriet says: "Being Australian, I sort of get caught up in it in the summer. I have been to two matches, both I've wanted to leave after the first five minutes."

Q: Do both of you have favorite fics that the other one has written?
A: Harriet says: "I like all of Gnome's fics. The sheep one because it was damn funny and the mental images have never left me. ‘Strangers’ because it got me thinking and helped produce the sequel which led onto ‘Sex, Lies and Fondue’.”
Gnome says: “I’ve never seen Ocean’s 11 or 13 Ghosts, so Harriet’s versions are a bit lost to me, even though they’re great. But her Downunder stories always have me on the edge of my seat, and everything she does is absolutely brilliant!”

Q: Do you have a funky ringtone on your cell phone?
A: Harriet: "No that would mean I actually like the cancer causing, money sucking, beeping device, although I think the theme music to the British ‘Whose Line’ would be funny."
Gnome: “Did you miss the bit about being unemployed? I have no cash, no phone, and no funky ring tones. If I had a phone, though, I’d want it to play a Bach fugue…”

Q: You're obsessed with getting them naked in "Bolshie's;" why?
A: What? The image doesn't amuse you?

Q: So what do you think has been the worst fashion statement on Whose Line?
A: Harriet says: "Greg's burnt orange, satin, paisley shirt or Brad's multi-coloured rose one...but his tight, tight jeans were good."
Gnome says: “Mmm, tight jeans. Tony’s tight jeans, and the leather jacket…I’m sorry, what was the question?”

Q: Rene DeCartes once said "I think therefore I am?" Do you agree?
A: Harriet says : “Not really, because my cat doesn't think and he's still here.”
Gnome says: “Lizz Winstead once said ‘I think therefore I am single’ which I agree with, if that means anything.”

Q: What is necrophillia?
A: Necros - meaning dead and Phillia - the verb, to fill.

Q: Should guys be forced to keep their pants on?
A: God yes. As British Comedian Jo Brand once said, "Men come to see naked women to get turned on, while women come to see naked men for a bloody good laugh."

Q: What really gets your goat?
A: Harriet says: "Liars, cheats, happy people and those who dare make unsavory comments about my fics."
Gnome says: “Young, screaming children; people with closed minds; religious zealots; those people who, when you’re standing at the corner waiting for the light to turn green, and there’s like 17 of you, that one guy who comes up, pushes his way through the crowd, and pushes the button, like no one else thought to do so, and as if it actually does anything.”

Q: Is Harold working on anything at the moment?
A: Yes, he's currently onto the fifth chapter of his new thriller, The Hirsute Egg.

Q: Who was your favorite Beatle?
A: Harriet says: "It would have to be John, although I do have a soft spot for Ringo.”
Gnome says: “Paul, though I like John’s post-Beatle work much better than Paul’s.”

Q: Who do you think shot JFK?
A: After collating and studying all the evidence very hard, we have come to the conclusion that he wasn't actually shot. JFK's brain actually left his body of its own accord, after being starved of anything nutritional in the way of information or intelligence for so long.

Q: Some people find nails scraped down a blackboard annoying, what do you think is the most annoying noise in the world?
A: Harriet says: "My bloody cell phone which may get chucked into a corner very soon, or the strange ‘gremlin-like’ noise the cat makes."
Gnome says: “Rap. When the low rider pulls up next to you at the stoplight and your brain decides it would like to crawl out of your ear to escape the bass, but would rather dribble out of your nose because of the lyrics…"

Q: You seem to write chapters nearly everyday, do you ever get writer's block?
A: Harriet says: "Yes, right now being one of those times, hence the shit question and answer."
Gnome says: "My life is writer's block. Well, 87% of the time it's writer's block. Probably 73% of the writing is actually done by Harriet, another 18% by Harold, and the last 9% by me."

Q: Gnome, what on earth possessed you to draw Jeff as Frank N Furter?
A: Actually, I remember that the illustrations were Harriet's idea, and she suggested we illustrate our stories. I'm not gonna draw Brad in his underwear, or naked Colin, so the only creative option left was Jeff as Frank. I frightened myself in doing that drawing, and it took much canoodling from Harriet to get it and the others up, so, all in all, blame her.

Q: What are you currently reading?
A: Harriet says: "Numerous books, 'The Catsitters', about an actor and his quest to get laid....I mean meet the right woman. 'The Amazing Maurice' about a talking cat and his army of rats, 'Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets' for about the third time. A rather thick collection of murders throughout history and NW Magazine, for all the ridiculous pictures of celebrities. I believe that's all..."
Gnome says: "I can only hold one storyline at a time, and I'm re-reading the Princess Bride because I'm too poor/lazy to buy any more books. I suggest, however, anything by Stephen Fry (who's more demented than we are, by the way), Douglas Adams, Lewis Carroll, Guitar World Acoustic magazine, and the earlier works of Piers Anthony."

Q: I've always wondered, do newsreaders wear pants?
A: It's hard to say, but there's something quite entertaining about the idea. Imagine the most horrendous story being delivered by some stone faced news anchor and under the table he's sporting a pink thong.

Q: Is it true that a thong is something entirely different in Australia?
A: Yes, it's actually a piece of rubber footwear, also know as a "flipflop." They are mostly worn by beach goers and the ghetto dwellers.

Q: Can you describe each other in five words?
A: Harriet says: "Quirky, genius, hugely talented, demented :)"
Gnome says: "Creative, Proops-esque, friendly, hilarious, neurotic."

Q: In "The Rocky Horror Whose Line Spectacular," Jeff says something in French; what does it mean?
A: Jeff says "il a une drole d'allure," which translates as "He looks a bit strange."

Q: What the hell is an ocelot?
A: They are tropical American cats, about three feet long. They are marked with a series of stripes around their heads and black rings over their bodies. Active mainly at night, ocelots feed on birds and small mammals. They frequently climb trees to find their prey (see, just like Greg).

Q: Can you tell me how the process of osmosis works?
A: Sure, The diffusion of solvent (usually water) particles through a selectively permeable membrane from a region of high solvent concentration to a region of lower solvent concentration - Easy!

Q: Are all the Australian town you mention real?
A: Harriet says "Yes, I actually researched. Even the population of Katoomba is genuine. Doesn't that tell you how much time I have on my hands?"

Q: Have either of you ever appeared naked in public?
A: Harriet says: "Not bloody likely mate."
Gnome says: "I'm not even keen on getting naked in private."

Q: What is the capital of Australia?
A: The “A” – no seriously, it’s Canberra (which was actually created because they couldn’t decide between Sydney and Melbourne, so they made a place in between).

Q: Will there be further reference to Brad’s underwear in your fics?
A: We’re actually making it a part of the criteria and will be slipping the not-so-subtle references in at every available opportunity. Besides which, it’s such a great image and one we feel is important to share.

Q: You must spend a lot of time on your computers; do you have pet names for them?
A: Harriet says: “Yes, although I shant write it here as it contains frequent coarse language. But I’ve called the Internet Satan and my MSN Messenger Damien.”
Gnome says: “I find that my computer responds better to heavily applied niceties, so I call it ‘the most wonderful thing in the world’ to its face. Once I leave the room, however, I refer to it as ‘that horrid machine that never does what I want it to do and does everything I wish it wouldn’t’.”

Q: You spend a lot of time talking about the "Whose Line" guys, what do you think of the women?
A: Harriet says: "They try don't they? They really do. I liked Caroline Quentin, and didn't mind Josie unless she sung. For the U.S version, well lets just say Denny made me want to do violent things to my television.”
Gnome says: “I liked the Brit chicks, as they were more brave, more willing to make fools of themselves, which is what the program’s all about. Kathy’s very meek compared to the guys, and Denny just doesn’t do it for me.”

Q: In the final chapter of "Sex, Lies and Fondue" there was a poem. Did either of you write it or was is taken from somewhere?
A: Harriet says: "I wrote the poem about six years ago, its called "The Crush."

Q: Can you give us any hints of what might happen in the sequel to "Sex, Lies and Fondue”?
A: Harold is currently in bitter debate with Fondsworth over the sequel. We may lose the contract to a couple of gibbons if an agreement can't be reached. We'll let you know when we receive further details.

Q: Do you guys only communicate through the internet?
A: No, of course we don't...that would be sad. Gnome has a team of flying monkeys, which frequent Australia (They make a bloody mess - Harriet) and Harriet uses the services of Digger, a hairy-nosed wombat. He's not as fast as the flying monkeys but he's never failed a mission (Yeah, shame he'd be faster dead - Gnome)

Q: Do people actually send you these questions?
A: Well its more a case of "Gnome locking her sister in a darkened room and setting rats on her until she comes up with five questions a day" kind of situation.

Q: Is it just me or is the World Cup more mind-numbing than reruns of The Brady Bunch?
A: It’s not just you, we’re currently on the top of the list of people who don’t give a shit.

Q: What has annoyed you guys most today?
A: Harriet says "My father, who insists on changing the cable channel to 'Sky News' (like watching three news programmes a night isn't enough) and then forgetting to put it back on 'thecomedychannel' so I can watch "Whose Line."
Gnome says: “Sunburn.”

Q: What has made you guys laugh the most today?
A: Harriet says: "Looking at loads of "Whose Line" pictures. Especially the picture I found of Brad as a kid. Oh, and reading the chapter of SL&F that Gnome wrote (classic).”
Gnome says: “When Harriet tried to send me those pictures in a couple emails, only they didn’t show up, so all I got was mildly strange captions, such as ‘Whatever Col’s just seen has crawled up Greg’s butt!’ which was really very hilarious.”

Q: Be honest and tell us one thing that might surprise us about you?
A: Harriet says: "I kiss my cat on a regular basis."
Gnome says: “I am addicted to peanut butter cups.”

Q: What does a stubbie short of a six pack mean?
A: A stubbie is a bottle of beer in Australia, and a six pack is six of them. It basically means you’re a bit mental. In California, they like to say “a taco short of a combination plate.”

Q: You both seem to have an array of animals working for you. Do you think it’s at all cruel?
A: Of course not, they all have a cage each and get fed once a week and we only beat them when they’re working too slow.

Q: Have either of you spent time in prison?
A: Funny you should ask, both Gnome and Harriet share a cell in a lovely Texas Penitentiary. This in itself almost didn’t happen until Harriet got over her “taste for flesh” thing. Gnome spends most of her time on a computer in the inmates’ library. She’s not supposed to, but she bumped off the librarian and no one has noticed.

Q: Would you ever indulge in karaoke?
A: We were recently the first place winners in the prison karaoke championships. The competition was a bit stiff in the end, literally…

Q: Has Gnome ever considered taking up painting with “other” parts of her anatomy?”
A: No. But you should see what the flying monkeys can do with a blank canvas, some non-toxic paint and their penises.

Q: Is there anything you won't write a fic about?
A: Other than slash and the guys’ families, probably not. The only guideline is that it must be funny. Which means there's plenty left to tackle...(maybe I'll re-write Titanic - Harriet)

Q: Can pigs fly?
A: Yes, if you can find a big enough rubber band to ping them. Alternatively you can use a cannon, but that's pretty costly.

Q: What's the weirdest thing you've seen recently?
A: Harriet says: "Some wacko yank woman who claimed to speak ‘cat’ apparently one tabby told her what planet they come from and how the future is going to be...mad I tell you....”
Gnome says: “I saw a marathon of standup comics yesterday, and they did some pretty strange things…like one guy brought to my attention the fact that, when we’re old, we’re gonna be listening to like, hard rock music…geriatric people listening to Dr. Dre and Metallica and Jimmy Eat World and the Whitlams…”

Q: Who is your favorite serial murderer?
A: Gee that's a tough one, we're quite partial to Bev who's now on death row. Harriet says she's quite proud of the whole "Bodies in the Barrels" thing as it put her state on the map. Gnome was a fan of Manson's but now she's leaning toward good old Jack.

Q: What was your favorite 80s cartoon?
A: Harriet says: "I always liked Tranformers, Optomus Prime had a sexy voice and the Care Bears...quite a contrast really. Killing and peace and love."
Gnome says: “I used to watch this thing called Jet, like rock star Barbies, and yes, the Care Bears were integral, and Teddy Ruxpin…”

Q: If you were a piece of architecture, what would you be?
A: Harriet says: "The Old Adelaide Gaol. Looks great, has many secrets, a fabulously dark past and in forever stuck in the 80s."
Gnome says: “Darn you, making me think. I’m gonna say an old standing stone, even though it’s not exactly architecture. They’re a bit odd, don’t really have much of a point, and make you wonder if it’s really necessary, but kinda cool anyway.”

Q: Ok, let's get personal, which "Whose Line" guy would you sleep with?
A: There's actually a philosophy that goes "Greg's the one you want to do it with. Brad's the one you think of when doing it to Greg, and Colin...he's the one you'd marry."

Q: Keeping with that theme, what's your favorite characteristic/physical trait of the "Whose Line" guys?
A: Harriet says: "Interesting question, I would have to say...Ryan's voice, Greg's wit, Tony's crassness and Brad in general."
Gnome says: “Greg’s cynicism and the glasses; Colin’s ability to keep a straight face; Ryan’s inability to keep a straight face; Tony’s willingness to do anything to get a laugh even if he regrets it in the end; Brad’s ability to be a hilarious straight man and the sideburns and everything else; etc. etc. etc.”

Q: So what characteristics/ physical traits drive you nuts?
A: Harriet says: "They're all so tall, Drew's attempts to be funny (I'm blaming the writers) and Wayne in general."
Gnome says: “Chip is just very wiry, Wayne’s a bit of a showboat (even if the other cast members claim not to think so), Colin’s eyes are beautiful, but don't seem to focus properly all the time, which makes me nervous…”

Q: So Clive or Drew?
A: Harriet says: "Clive, he was witty and let the guys get on with it. Drew gives the impression that he needs to be centre of attention (I blame the producers).”
Gnome says: “Clive. No real reason. Maybe ‘cause he’s British.”

Q: Favorite Whose Line game(s)?
A: Harriet says: "I always liked "Bartender" but I don't know if they do that now, and even if they do it won't be as crass as it used to be. I'm also partial to "Scenes From a Hat" because it’s about all Greg gets to do these days. I'm looking forward to seeing "Irish Drinking Song" one day!”
Gnome says: “Scenes From a Hat and World’s Worst ‘cause I think there’s real talent in being able to do quick-fire games well. And Party Quirks because everyone ends up looking so foolish, especially when Tony tries to guess…”

Q: Is there any fanfic ideas that you're toying with at the moment?
A: Harriet likes the sound of a western, but there's also the possibility of a Titanic remake. The only drawback being she'd have to watch the movie. Gnome has been trying for weeks to come up with something clever, only to have all of her ideas fizzle out rather spectacularly.

Q: Why does it take you longer to update some fics than others?
A: We like to have a life (we use the term generally) between writings. Also some are easier to write. The Fondue series is fairly easy as you just think, "Well what would I want if I was Gina or Fenny." On the other hand "Rocky" takes longer because of the re-writing of songs (technically they don't take long Harriet just has to be bothered.) There's also quite a bit of research in that. Bolshie's is difficult as you have to put yourself in the mind of a bunch of elderly men!

Q: Do you have a favorite line(s) from you fics?
A: Harriet says: "I love...’You want me to bite your thigh? I bet I could make you scream too,’ and, ‘No, you're the verbally incontinent girl they assigned to me, go away,’ and, ‘Oh yeah, I'm always pulling out the play-doh and molding it into replicas of my penis,’ and probably a series of others I can't remember from M11 and D&B.
Gnome says: “I’m rather proud of the thigh biting, thank you. The play-doh is sticking in my mind right now, and probably always will. Brad demanding, ‘Where are my pants,’ in Rocky, imagining him in that…outfit. ‘I like Celine Dion as much as a cold tea enema’ was probably the truest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Q: You've already mentioned Paul before, why bring him back as Gina's ex-husband?
A: Harriet says: "Because I can" :))

Q: Any tips for other fanfic writers?
A: Always use original topics, you can only have so many "Ryan dies" and "Greg's issues" stories. Never write yourself into it, it’s lame and no one cares, and lastly, leave people hanging. You leave unanswered questions and people are going to ask for more.

Q: What are your weirdest obsessions?
A: What, this isn't weird enough?

Q: What made you decide to put the reviews on the page?
A: It’s an ego boost! Some of them are so great that you want to show them off, others are slightly mental, a few are flamers and some are pointless. All in all, they're a bit of fun and it’s nice to share that fun with everyone.

Q: Will Gnome be doing any more pictures?
A: Harriet says "Yes, will you?"
Gnome says: “The Whose Line fan-art muse, Sergio, is extraordinarily fickle, he got mad last time when I served him coffee with milk instead of cream, and he hasn’t stopped by in a long time. He’ll get bored though, he always does, and when he calls around again, I’m certain he’ll inspire me to do something really fabulous. Until then, it’s just waiting and hoping the cream I bought for him doesn’t curdle.”

Q: Where do you come up with the demented thoughts?
A: Harriet says: "Mostly from a school diary from about seven years ago, a few I scribbled down at college, the rest are just what pop into my brain at the time."

Q: What was the inspiration behind the facts page?
A: It was a mad moment when we started looking up bizarre facts. Some were so brilliant we thought we'd share. Harriet childishly chose all the genitalia/sex based ones, while Gnome liked the really weird shit...like vacuum cleaner related injuries.

Q: Will you really stop posting if we don't review?
A: Do you want to test us?

Q: Any plans for some new fics soon?
A: Harriet says: “GIVE ME A BREAK!!”
Gnome says: “Are three not enough, you literary sadists?”

Q: Does it bother you that you actually have to make up the frequently asked questions, because no one actually asks them?
A: Yes, Harriet's brain is running out of ideas to amuse you with, hardly fair really. Someone out there must have a question?

Q: How do you make those funny lines flow so well?
A: It’s a case of ingesting so much comedy that it eventually flows naturally. When you can watch comedy and pick the jokes before they’re said, then you know you can write it. It also helps if you are cynical, sarcastic and understand the concept of irony.

Q: Has anything freaked you out today?
A: Harriet says: "Oh yes, Gnome and I have got to the point that we can actually write what we're hoping each other writes, without discussing it...how freaky is that?”
Gnome says: “Yes, I find that rather freaky myself as well…”

Q: Do blondes have more fun?
A: Contradictory to popular belief, we have been testing this theory and found that "fun" is only brought about by the individual. However, Harriet, as a natural blonde, would like to state that she would have more fun than any peroxide, bleached bimbette.

Q: Would you cover yourselves in chocolate and run through the players at a sporting event?
A: While this is tempting, it is highly unlikely either of us would get naked in public. Although Gnome wouldn't put it past Harriet and Harriet believes Gnome would find other used for the chocolate...

Q: Do you enjoy writing the raunchy stuff, like a soaking wet Greg getting his clothes torn off?
A: We actually really dislike those parts and try to avoid any references to nudity in our work, we find it offensive and tasteless. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Q: Do you worry about offending people with the amount of "language" you use in your fics?
A: Shit no, nearly everyone swears, comedians and entertainers more than most. If you were put in the situations we've put this lot in, you'd swear too. Besides, could you imagine Greg Proops saying something like “Gosh darn it, that makes me unhappy”? Kinda loses the reality effect…

Q: Are you worried that people might be upset by the amount of violence (gun use, beatings etc) in your fics?
A: It’s no worse than a movie or television. Besides, it’s what keeps you coming back, isn't it? If we were to go completely sappy and bubbly you’d be so bored you'd seek entertainment elsewhere. Sex and violence are the biggest draw cards in anything and everything and as far as we're concerned, the more the merrier.

Q: Would you guys ever take part in one of those reality television shows?
A: God no, not only are they degrading, morally debatable and create competition within society, but they're bloody awful to watch too.

Q: Would you ever throw a pineapple at someone in power?
A: Harriet says: "Who's to say I haven't already? The Australian Prime Minter could do with a good pineapple beating.”
Gnome says: “I prefer to throw pineapples at strangers, personally, as they’re less likely to retaliate.”

Q: What do you prefer on a man, boxers or briefs?
A: Harriet says: "I've had a fear of briefs since seeing Brad in "Rocky Horror", I'd say nothing, but then that could involve lots of unattractive men going about their day with no underwear and that's not good at all.”
Gnome says: “I’m not particular, so long as they fit properly. Baggy underwear is among the least attractive things a guy can wear.”

Q: Have you ever wanted to be a cartoon character?
A: Harriet says: "I used to fancy being a Transformer but of course I can't get changed into a mechanical object, so then I fancied being a Care Bear living on a cloud and sharing peace and love around. Now however, I think I actually am Lisa Simpson, the misunderstood genius in a family that is beyond describable.”
Gnome says: “I like to think of myself as Gaz from Invader Zim with a sketchbook instead of a video game, as I like to be not bothered by humanity and left to my own devices until it’s time to hurl a few insults and threats.”

Q: Is there anything in your fics that is based on reality?
Harriet says: "Oh yeah, off the top of my head I can tell you that the "ashtray" scene with Greg in M11 was based on a true story and the car spin out in D&B is exactly what happened to me and my friends (minus the killers and things). So yes, there certainly are niblets of reality in there.”
Gnome says: “Nothing that I can think of…?”

Q: What the hell is a niblet?
A: A cross between a nibble and a tidbit, it’s one of those demented things that popped into Harriet's head, and she is currently taking some new pills to combat such thoughts.

Q: Are there any celebrities you'd like to slap about a bit?
A: Harriet says: "I could write pages on this one, Britney Spears, The Osbournes and the creator of Big Brother would be a start though.”
Gnome says: “Regis Philbin, and Jill What-her-name from the FOX morning news here in LA…just ‘cause they’ve gotta stop taking amphetamines.”

Q: Have you guys found each others personalities are starting to rub off on each other?
A: Harriet says: "I think so, I've started saying ‘kiddo’ all the time and her style of writing has grown on me...I have female characters and sex in my fics lol."
Gnome says: “I’ve found myself enjoying more neurotic thoughts since hanging around Harriet, more innuendo and whatnot, and my internal monologue has grown more vicious and insulting.”

Q: You're going wild with "Burns" but what about "Rocky" and "Bolshie's"
A: There is plenty more "Rocky" and "Bolshie's" Harriet just can't be arsed writing them at the moment. "Rocky" is very time consuming and the writer's block has set in for "Bolshie's" but she promises there will be more.

Q: What is that "rat" thing you keep bringing up in your fics?
A: There is a medieval form of torture that involves placing a rat on someone’s stomach and covering it so it couldn't escape. The rat would therefore be forced to eat its way out. At least, we think that's what we're getting at.

Q: In Mochrie's Eleven, when Drew is singing about Colin, what rhymes with shunt?
A: If you need to see that you should revert to the previously mentioned "tool."

Q: What do you think is the worst talk show on TV?
A: Harriet says: "Is there a bad one? I kinda like them when I'm really bored...kinda makes you glad you're not them. I find Jerry is thoroughly amusing, while Maury Povich is a wonderfully convincing wimp. I do despise Oprah though.”
Gnome says: “I’m not a fan of all the ‘DNA tests’ and ‘my daughter’s dressed like a hooker’ programs, even though I do occasionally get sucked into them just out of morbid curiosity. I despise all political talk shows and anyone labeled as a ‘self-help guru’ like Oprah’s bald guy.”