Q: What about babies? Will anyone be having a baby?
A: Ritza had a baby? Another question that leaves a lot to the imagination. Fenny and Brad are bordering on stable but would he freak at the prospect of being a father? Would Gina know the father of hers and would Greg and Paul, two very, very, very reluctant men when it comes to breeding, run a mile? Really, once you get into that stuff it makes it a hell of a lot more complicated than it already is.

Q: Do you think women's magazines send out the wrong image to women?
A: Yes, there are as many half naked women in women's magazines than there are in men’s. And why do women's magazines have to be full of over priced fashion, make-up tips and the boring lives of super skinny Hollywood bimbettes? We want half naked comedians, decent TV guides and cake recipes. Who wants to read about how to tickle his testicles when you could have black and white pictures of Brad Sherwood in the buff?

Q: Have you ever stripped?
A: Harriet: "Well all strip? But if you mean the "sexy show to excite someone" then not of your life. I don't even like getting undressed in front of the cat!”
Gnome: “I couldn’t put on my pajamas in front of a drawing I did of Paul recently…really, would you wanna see someone named Gnome strip? Honestly…”

Q: You keep promising "Eight Bolshie Old Guys" and "The Rocky Horror Whose Line Spectacular" updates...WHERE ARE THEY?
A: They's coming, Harriet has put them on hold for a little while (pfft! I call it sitting on her ass - Gnome) As soon as we wrap up "Burns" she should get stuck back into them.

Q: If people are to take something out of your fics, what should it be?
A: Well, really they shouldn't be taking them at all seriously. However, there are lots of morals in them. Don't drink or you'll look like a goof. Never cheat on your spouse because ultimately their new lover will be your best friend. Don't believe Australia is a hole like it’s made out. Never trust a woman named Ritza and try your hardest not to imagine the guys as old, wrinkly and naked.

Q: Is bigger better?
A: It depends what we're talking about here? If we're talking performances then a good example is - Wayne leaps around like a parrot with a fire cracker up his arse and gets minimal applause. Colin says the word "pants" and everyone falls over themselves. If we're talking height, well all the "Whose Line" guys are tall and Brad for example is divine. But then Paul is short and he's divine too. If we're talking body weight then Mike McShane was just as brilliant as hyperactive Wayne and Chip. But if we're talking penis size, then...well...they do say once you've gone black you never go back...

Q: What's this rumour we hear about "The Rocky Horror Whose Line Spectacular" being turned into a musical?
A: Funny you should ask, Harriet has been in intense talks with Richard O'Brien the creator of "Rocky Horror" and so far things are looking peachy. If Harriet finishes the script soon, rehearsals should start within weeks. The big rumours flying about are that Matt Damon will be playing Greg, Sean Hayes, Jeff and in a freaky twist Kathy will play herself.

Q: What do you think you'd do if any of the "Whose Line" guys or Paul McDermott saw this site?
A: How would we know? Unless they signed the guestbook and even then you'd have no proof it was actually them. But in the unlikely prospect that it actually happened and there was contact made, Gnome would probably keel over and cringe for the rest of her life. Harriet would laugh hysterically and if they happened to leave their email address, she'd email them apologising for everything and then ask for a review.

Q: So when can we expect some new fics from you guys?
A: Harriet: "Well, ‘Burns’ could be finished as early as today, ‘Rocky’ has maybe three to four more chapters and ‘Bolshies’ has only a few left in it. So, sometime after that lot, something new should come out. That's unless my ideas stop flowing or my brains shrivels up and runs crying into a corner screaming ‘I'M AS MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE’."
Gnome: “Well, I need to be inspired first, which I haven’t been for a while. I was pondering a tiny little prequel to my ‘No Longer Strangers’ story but it probably won’t get done…I’m waiting for my muse to come and hit me in the head with his umbrella and yell, ‘Write something already you stupid twit!’ “

Q: You did it again, you didn't end the "It’s Not Over Until The Fondue Burns" Why?
A: Well, if we'd ended it, we couldn’t have continued the saga. Even if no one likes it, we get immense joy out of it. Besides like those before it, the next installment will be completely different again.

Q: You didn't get Greg and Gina together why?
A: As mentioned above it wouldn't be any fun if we just "ended it," there is still life in the old girl yet, people. Give her a chance to sail again and dance amongst the pixies... (at this point it should be pointed out Harriet hasn't slept a lot in the last 24 hours and her brain has turned to shit!)

Q: Define you idea of sexy.
A: Harriet: "Paul McDermott in a pinstripe suit singing ‘I Was Made For Loving You’ gives me chills...ok, technically he isn't wearing a pinstripe suit when he's singing it. But by Jesus he should be. I know...I'll go for the two word answer - Paul McDermott - "
Gnome: “I don’t have a definition of sexy, some people just are and others aren’t. Greg is sexy. Brad is sexy. Tony is sexy. Chip is not. I know I’m kinda backwards from the rest of society, but hey, deal with it. Mostly, though, as any comedy groupie would tell you, a sense of humor is the sexiest thing of all. That and the ability to play guitar. One or the other. Both is better.”

Q: When isn't it a good time for you to write?
A: Harriet: "When I've had about four hours sleep, too much chocolate and am more premenstrual than anything else on earth and have been watching Good News Week all day. Because under those circumstances everything goes a bit freaky and I can't be held responsible for anything I may write."
Gnome: “Yes, pms is bad, as are first thing in the morning and 1 am, not that that’s stopped me from writing at those times. Writing while angry at the world is only good when you’re writing angry at the world fics.”

Q: In the tradition of "The Rocky Horror Whose Line Spectacular," what's your favorite and least favorite board game?
A: Harriet: "I'm partial to Scattagories and I love Trivial Pursuit, expect when you play with mean friends and they want ‘exact’ answers. Then things just get violent. I hate Monopoly with a passion, I always, always loose.”
Gnome: “Trivial Pursuit is the only game to play from midnight onwards, as it’s really quite hilarious to watch tired people hopped up on sugar and caffeine trying to answer trivia questions they don’t know. Pictionary is fun up until midnight, but I’m an artist. I hate anything that requires money or sheer luck, i.e. Shoots and Ladders, Candyland, Monopoly, Life…”

Q: Are you daydreamers?
A: Constantly, one artist and one writer equals a hell of a lot of time spent staring off into space and constant "head in the clouds" syndrome. If we didn't daydream, we wouldn't be able to write or draw like we do. Granted most of the time Gnome's mind is running through images of Brad in his underwear, while Harriet's is constantly thinking lewd thoughts about Paul.

Q: Is boredom a sin?
A: Not according to the Bible, however it must be said it feels more like a hex than a sin. I mean, you sit there, the talking around you muffles into insignificance. You begin to fidget, doodle, play with your hair. Your mind wonders to more glorious things like "Whose Line", certain men and pudding. No, boredom isn't a sin. Granted it can be annoying but it can also give you the opportunity to pull together your creative energies and entertain yourself.

Q: How do all those animals in your office get along?
A: The short answer is - They don’t! God knows, we've tried. Harold has always felt the need to dominate. He once turned on a flying monkey who dared to take the last donut. Fondsworth always shied away from the others as he has a constant fear of being eaten (ironic really). The flying monkeys generally hate everyone and have taken to eating any work experience kiddies that may cross their path. Digger's love live dominates his presence in the office. The trouble is, all hell breaks loose when they break up. Here's hoping things work out with the rat. Finally, there's Satan. Who's basically a cold blooded killer. He's determined to kill Harold, and who knows, if Harold doesn't get overt his politician phase - we might just let him.

Q: How do you get all those double entendres and snide remarks in your fics?
A: Large doses of British comedy. You name it Harriet's watched it and Gnome is getting there. The list could be endless, but some of the best are: Month Python, Eddie Izzard, Kenny Everett, The Goodies, Blackadder, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Benny Hill and all the Carry On movies. The best source and the funniest source, is the king of crass himself - Tony Slattery. Watch a few "Whose Line" Tony episodes and you'll be making penis jokes for days.

Q: Do you believe that we should be able to torture when and who we want?
A: There is a time and a place for everything. Including the unadulterated, brutal torture of some people. Gnome is particularly akin to the idea towards her sister. Let’s look at it this way. If you're at a party and Britney Spears is drunkenly tottering about, you find a baseball bat - now wouldn't you want to belt her and announce "Want me to hit you one more time." So yes, there is a need for torture in today's society.

Q: So a sequel to the sequel, why?
A: The demand from the fans who hate cliffhangers and we are starting to enjoy the kinky stuff a little to much. So let’s just put it down to sheer perversity.

Q: Is there anything you've done lately that you're ashamed of?
A: Harriet: "Yes, I'm addicted to Celebrity Big Brother. How tragic is that? I guess the only upside is they're all Aussie celebrities so they're up for anything and completely mental."
Gnome: “I did watch an episode of ‘Buffy’ late Sunday night…it was, however, so bad it was funny.”

Q: What image has been stuck in your head today?
A: Harriet: "Unfortunately it happens to be Paul McDermott in a tartan robe, claiming he's an old man and has ‘Lost control of his bodily functions’ as a torrent of fake piss pools at his feet.”
Gnome: “I just watched Rendez View and Greg brought up that he’s kissed Colin on TV, so that image is kinda burned in. And Tony singing Monkees’ songs…”

Q: "The Fondue Burns" has a very different feel from the others, what do you think it is?
A: It’s hard to say. "Sex, Les and Fondue" was more on the romance side, while "It's Not Over Until the Fondue Burns" was totally action/adventure. So "The Fondue Burns" must be somewhere between the two. It’s like the first "Whose Line" fan fiction soap opera really. Perhaps that’s what it is, it’s taken on an "adult drama" feel to it now...Not that it was for kiddies before.

Q: What has been your most miserable moment with your computers?
A: Every time Gnome attempt to do anything it ends in tears. Programs don't like to run at the same time, Geocities is against her and 11:30 pm is when things just stop and the computer goes to sleep. Harriet has a tendency to get very, very frustrated with her server’s "2 hour" policy and her messenger is often referred to as "evil bastard." It’s not just the computers that are evil, don't even get us started on scanners and disk drives.

Q: What was your first encounter with technology?
A: Harriet: "Probably the first computer we had. I can't even remember what type it was but it had a game called ‘Milo’ like hangman except he drowned instead of being hung. I'm so old I can remember when ‘Pong’ was all the rage and ‘Pac Man’ was the best game to play.”
Gnome: “Growing up I had the king of all computers: a Commodore 64. This was the mid-80s, when computers still worked because, well, they didn’t do much. And it’s all about the Bubble-Bobble, baby!”

Q: Who do you let use your computers?
A: In the office it’s a bit evil. Harold usually takes over Gnome's computer while he types the fics. Gnome doesn't mind, it gives her more time to deal with "jello" issues. No one is allowed near Harriet's or she gets very angry. This was revealed when Doug was caught looking up porn and Harriet went for him with a stanley knife. Doug was ok, everything got sewed back on.

Q: How, if at all, has technology changed the way you guys work?
A: Harriet: "It’s a hell of a lot quicker than using a pen, and it makes my writing readable. Although not necessarily accurate. It also means I can write lots and store it all in one place, rather than a million exercise books. I wouldn't say ‘work’ is the right word though, because I don't call all the demented stuff Gnome and I do work.”
Gnome: “Well, the Internet allows us to share our ‘work’ with the rest of the world without messing about with publishers and copyrights and lawsuits and sales figures and all that stuff. Which is good. Speaking of copyrights, can we just claim that our stuff’s copyrighted without having to like, fill out a form? Everyone seems to be doing it nowadays. Okay, our stuff’s copyrighted, touch it and die. Ooh, that was kinda fun! I’m sorry, what was the question……?”

Q: Have you surfed the internet lately?
A: Harriet: "To quote the lovely Paul McDermott, ‘All over the Net like a rash.’ I've been looking at Brad pictures and posting the new fic on ff.net and at ‘Drew Carey Whose Line Fan Fiction World’ Oh and I checked the Rove [live] website and the LiveDrew website for all the latest DCS gossip.”
Gnome: “Last night I too scoured the net looking for Brad pics, which are hard to come by, and checked to see who’s gonna be on the next abc Whose Line (Greg, woohoo!) and I’m battling geocities, which isn’t really surfing, but it’s what I do.”

Q: The "Drew Carey Whose Line Fan Fiction World" is having a fanfic competition - are you entered? If you are do you think you'll win?
A: Harriet has entered the competition, she submitted Mochrie's Eleven, Downunder and Backwards and Drew Carey's 13 Ghosts. With her past attempts at winning anything, anywhere being nil, she's not hoping for much.

Q: I want to link you to my site, do you have a banner?
A: We certainly do, Gnome has done an amazing job, especially in her condition. The drugs just aren’t working. Check out her fabulous creation on the links page.

Q: What do you think of the changes to The Drew Carey Show this season?
A: It will certainly be interesting to see. Christa leaving is going to really change the atmosphere and really, how can they make Mimi a single mother. That's just horrible. There's also a rumour they'll be adding a new regular cast member. (I don't care as long as its not Wayne Brady - Harriet) It’s also ridiculous that they should refrain from being so darn stupid. Isn't that the point of the show?

Q: Is Paul McDermott as mental as you make him appear?
A: Well, yes and no. Since we don't know him personally we can't say exactly. But there are some things that are true. Like when he started out as a busker and set charity bins on fire, he attacked audience members, stripped them to their underwear and put their clothes down his pants, he's been doused in beer, he can hammer a nail up his nose, he kicked George Michael and insulted royalty, he's flashed old woman when he wore a kilt, spat on people, simulated pissing his pants, did something naughty to animals at the zoo and he's even been kicked out of the Edinburgh Festival. The list goes on really...

Q: Do you guys have email addresses so we contact you?
A: Have you not looked around the site? They are plastered on several pages, we're not repeating them because you're incompetent [see:tool]

Q: How come we can't tell when the space runs out for our messages in the guestbook?
A: Because, and we've explained this before, Geocities is evil. The whole screwed up guestbook is the fault of Geocities. So if you really have a problem with it, we suggest sending copious angry complaint letters to the person in charge of the foul, deceptive beast.

Q: What is it with Gina and "those" dreams about Brad?
A: There is a reason, but none which we wish to state. Let’s just say, if two creative people chat a while and surf, say, astrology sites, weird shit may come out of it. Besides which, who doesn't like the idea of Brad as a bit of a sexual predator? Please, say it’s not just us?

Q: What did you mean when Fenny described Paul as being dressed as a "70s porn star"?
A: This arose from a music clip for a song he was involved in. The outfit Mr McDermott wore was nothing short of tragic and a far cry from his usual gorgeousness (although Harriet thought his flared jeans were cute.) If you really want to know what a 70s porn star looks like, go check out your local video store kids.

Q: How do you feel about your honourable mention in the fanfic comp?
A: Harriet: "Let's so not go there...67 reviews I got...what did the winner get – 8." (at this point Gnome would like to point out that Harriet is a very sore loser)

Q: How will you be celebrating your achievement?
A: Harriet: "If I drank, a bottle of scotch. But because I don't I'll just ease the pain by lots vicious tirades throughout the day." (Harriet is joking of course, somewhere deep inside her heart of stone is a gracious defeat.)

Q: Where do the "demented thoughts come from?
A: Up until July 9th they were thought up by Harriet. Since then they have been "borrowed" from Australia comedian The Sandman's (Steve Abbott) 1998 Diary. Basically because Harriet couldn't think of any more.

Q: What's the scariest thing you've read recently?
A: Harriet: "A fanfic that involved Colin's penis being described as ‘beautiful’, I'm not going to tell you the author, because they know who they are and they know they need therapy.
Gnome: “I recently bought the issue of Rolling Stone with Ozzy Osbourne on the cover, which was quite frightening…”

Q: Who do you think is the most annoying member of the "Whose Line" cast?
A: Harriet: "Wayne because he's a ham and Kathy, she's jut too meek."
Gnome: “Wayne because he’s a showboat, and the handful of pretentious guys who showed up on the Brit version, most notably John Sessions and Archie Hahn.”

Q: Will Harriet receive some sort of award from her honourable mention?
A: She believes there may be some sort of banner, if in fact, her pissweak achievement allows her a banner. If so it'll be displayed on the site. If not, well the whole incident will be thrust back into the world of ‘so over it.’

Q: Oh my god Brad had a child! Why?
A: Calm down, it’s not real...he doesn't really have a child (well not that we know of). It’s just a story and if anyone should be shocked and upset it’s his fictional fiancée Fenny. You'd be pissed wouldn't ya?

Q: In chapter 13, you mentioned Rove. Who or what is that?
A: Rove is a young Australian comedian. He has a talk show that is on once a week and all the big stars go on it. (Well, we don't actually have any other talkshows - Harriet) This by the way is totally true, Paul will be on, on Tuesday.

Q: What were the song sung in chapter 13?
A: The songs were: The Rose, by Bette Midler and Bad to the Bone, by George Thorogood.

Q: Will there be any new additions to the site in the new future?
A: Yes, as early as today a new "polls" sections should be available. Just click on the Brad button and pick your favorite answer. We look forward to seeing what you chose and seeing how much you freak us out. We'll probably publish the results somewhere too.

Q: Is there anything you've learned today?
A: Harriet: "That it’s very hard to type out the words to songs as you listen to them. Gnome taught me something too, but I've completely forgotten it, oh and some people have no sense of humour."
Gnome: “I figured out how to get a poll onto our website at about 1:10 this morning. And I taught Harriet what kerning was, but I guess it didn’t sink in too much if she’s already forgotten. Wasn’t important, anyway.”

Q: Have you ever thought of writing romance novels?
A: We do? Have you not seen the GnomeMonroe collection at your local bookstore. Yes, we're the plastic bound, warning-labeled, under the counter books. We're crude, rude, smutty and crass. It’s a good little earner and Gnome plans to by a new yacht when the next one is published, while Harriet is using her share for a new Harley.

Q: Do you have a muse?
A: Harriet: "Television. Good, well written television. In my part of the world ‘The Secret Life of Us’ is the best show to give a person ideas. That and good music, song lyrics can be very inspiring. The best thing, I find is to just lie back on the couch and think about it, daydream a bit. Then when the idea is formed and only then, do I approach the computer.”
Gnome: “I’ve gotten lots of ideas based on one wacky line from a conversation or a TV show, but many of those fics have, alas, failed miserably. Most recently I’ve been inspired by Harriet, and I’ve been riding on her proverbial coattails.”

Q: You seem to write Lilly in great detail, do either of you have children?
A: God no! Harriet has nieces and a nephew, that she is happy to see go home at the end of the day. Gnome has seen what babies grow into, annoying preteens, and that in itself is enough to send her reproductive system into hiding.

Q: You have a new guestbook, why?
A: Because you lot weren't happy with the last one. You did nothing but whinge. So, now there are two and hopefully one will satisfy your freaky, messaging needs.

Q: Have either of you joined the mile high club?
A: Well technically that would be telling, but all Harriet is saying is that she has several scars she doesn't like talking about. Gnome meanwhile may have done something slightly non-traditional while parachuting.

Q: If you smile, does the world smile with you?
A: It depends why and where you're smiling? I mean, if you're like walking around with a manic grin on your face, you're going to get committed aren't you? People will cross the street to get away from you. It’s not normal and it’s not healthy. Besides which, and in reference to the bloody question...HOW CAN THE WORLD SMILE? It’s made up of dirt, and grass and lava and shit...it doesn't have a mouth to smile with. Sure, it cracks occasionally, but that's a seasonal thing.

Q: Can a pot call the kettle black?
A: Really, that's a bit racists isn't it. What right does the pot have to call the kettle black. Unless, that's the model of kettle, but how often do you see a black kettle? I think the pot is rude, arrogant and childish, if it chooses to call the kettle black. In fact, I think the kettle should ignore the pot and make friends with the toaster.

Q: Does a stitch in time save nine?
A: Save nine what? And in what context is this stitch. I mean, if you have a stitch put in your finger. It might, possibly, save nine litres of blood. If it’s a stitch in your side when running, it might save you running nine kiloimetres. Seriously, has anyone ever defined what the stitch is exactly? And what nine we're talking about? Could it be if you stitch with a needle and cotton, you might...I don't know...save nine buttons? This is a stupid question...

Q: If the wind changes, will it stay that way?
A: Oh yeah, a change in air flow can morph you into a freak. You see it everyday don't you, young children making faces and then the wind changes and "whammo" they're an annoying little scroat, with big ears forever. Does this saying revolve just around facial features though. I mean, if a guy cracks one...Will it stay that way? Actually, that'd be funny. The only thing the wind changes is how many leaves will clog up the gutters and which way a seagull glides. Other than that it just fans bushfires and destroys middle America.

Q: Does the tooth fairy exist?
A: Of course she bloody doesn't, and if you haven't worked that out by the time you were five...GET THERAPY! If she did exist, it'd be a bit of a sad life for her really. She is the world's biggest thief, just fluttering into your house (because let's face it, we let her) and she takes your tooth and leaves you a few cents in return. You grew that tooth, it was part of you and she takes it, just like that, a piece of you. Would you be so giving if it was say, I don't know....YOUR SPLEEN. No, I don't think you would. I say, the tooth fairy should be locked up before she starts taking vital organs or VCR's.

Q: We love the new "Polls" section, out of curiosity what would be your selections?
A: Harriet: "Oh a toughie, well I think ‘It’s Not Over Until the Fondue Burns’ is my fave fic, I adore Paul and favorite couple? I like them all. I think each couple has great bits. Greg and Gina sizzle, Brad and Fenny are adorable and Gina and Paul are so darn cute.”
Gnome: “I’m really not good at this sort of thing…I like to stay in the mindset that the story I’m working on is my favorite, so I don’t get discouraged. And I like Paul. I couldn’t even begin to think of who my fave couple is though, they’re all great!”

Q: Is there any results from the Polls that have surprised you?
A: Harriet: "Yes, ‘The Originals’ actually getting votes. I absolutely hate that fic. Mind you, that's the way things usually work. I hate something and everybody else likes it. Gina and Greg getting votes, when clearly Brad and Fenny are a much cuter couple, that surprises me too.
Gnome: “Nothing surprises me on the net anymore really, and I know that people’s opinions will always be different from mine, because I’m a spaz.”

Q: Is there anything that has annoyed you in the Poll results?
A: Harriet: "People voting against the inclusion of Paul - the more you vote against the little fella, the more he'll be written in. Besides I like combining my two favorite obsessions and he's a mate of Greg's, so it’s not totally out of context.”
Gnome: “I’m too busy being annoyed with the computer to be particularly annoyed at the Polls…”

Q: Are there other polls on the horizon?
A: After an in depth discussion/argument here are some of the ideas we've come up with: Which story topic do you prefer? Your favorite type of underwear? Who would you like to see get in on? and Which of these twists would you like to see in the tale?

Q: Any predictions on which way the polls will go?
A: Harriet: "I think that's too hard with the fave fic question, I think people will hate Paul (fascists) and Greg and Gina might top the best couple. It depends all on you the voters though, so vote more.”
Gnome: “I’m guessing the Fondue series’ll do pretty well, and I actually don’t think people will have that big a problem with Paul. (Harri’s got issues.) As for couples, well, my theory is that there’s more Greg fans out there than Brad, so yeah, Gina and Greg, even though they’re really the most troubled of them all…”

Q: Are you guys superstitious?
A: Incredibly, Gnome is constantly dodging black cats and avoiding breaking mirrors and still, still that little black cloud sits over her. Harriet meanwhile has nailed copious rabbits feet around her office. Unfortunately she is yet to remove them from the rabbits.

Q: What piece of technology gives you the most grief?
A: The computers in general are inherently evil. They never work when you want them to and do bizarre things frequently. Scanners and disk drives are also vile creatures and should be shot, and as for the office fax machine, no one dares approach it for fear of being pelted with flying sheets of paper.

Q: Is there nothing sexier than the naked truth?
A: Not all naked is good. Look what happens to Gina and Fenny, they tell the truth and things just get worse. Sometimes it’s good to tell a few white lies, like "Yes that's very flattering", "This tastes great" and "I do." But if we're talking about naked people, then nakedness is not always a good thing. I mean who want to see naked old people, that's not sexy, or the President? There are plenty of things sexier than the naked truth, and we've probably mentioned most of them in the f.a.q's somewhere.

Q: Do we need a new 10 Commandments?
A: Do we listen to the first ones? Unless you're a devout Catholic (and even then, that rarely matters). There is more adultery and the like in the world than a few words, written thousands of years ago can really control. Besides, do we need commandments anyway, even if you were to have new ones? Would they be any better? Who would they get to write them, the people who write for Letterman. "Thou shalt not waste money on clothes like Sarah Jessica Parker." "Thou shalt always watch Whose Line." "Thou shall remember never to believe a word politicians say." No, we don't live by insane Catholic rule and neither should you.

Q: Do all roads lead to Rome?
A: Hmm, let's think bout this one...Rome is in Europe, and America and Australia are in different continents. Somehow I think that might be a flawed idea. Since there are no roads across the water and it’s not just round the corner, all roads can't lead to Rome. Unless you're in Italy and then, well...They might.

Q: What makes you cry?
A: Harriet: "Cutting onions, they bloody sting my eyes. No, seriously the final episode of ‘Good News Week’ when Pauly was singing this really sad song and everyone was in tears. Every time I watch it, it chokes me up...How pathetic is that?”
Gnome: “Pulling spray adhesive out of my hair, sad movies at the wrong time of the month, my family’s insanity and knowing that I’m from the same gene pool, being in a great deal of pain…I don’t cry very often, I don’t remember…”

Q: What makes you laugh?
A: Harriet: "The Australian sense of humour, intelligent comedians, anything Paul McDermott does, Ryan's impression of a baby learning to walk, Colin in general and Celebrity Big Brother.”
Gnome: “Greg’s Gremlin impression, Tony taking off his pants, the things Harriet tells me Paul McDermott does, bad television (is it wrong to laugh at spontaneous human combustion?), comics, funny stuff…”

Q: What's the most extreme thing you've done for an obsession?
A: Harriet: "I used to wake ay 6am to listen to Paul on the radio, and when I went to school I'd get Mum to tape the rest. So I'd come home from school and listen to breakfast radio."
Gnome: “I make my mother stay up until 1:30 every Saturday and Sunday morning to tape the Monkees, I once got up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning to tape Peter’s Friends and it wasn’t even on. I have 17 tapes of WL and 4 tapes of Comedy Central Presents.”

Q: What would you do if you met your favorite celebrity?
A: Harriet: "Act like a hysterical freak. I wouldn't cry or start screaming or even hound them. In fact, I'd probably try and avoid meeting them in the first place. I think if I could make my fave celebrity laugh, then the prospect of looking like an idiot, might be avoided."
Gnome: “I, actually, wouldn’t want to actually meet anyone important, because I am almost certain I would immediately make a fool of myself. I’d probably nod politely and then wait for my brain to crawl out of an ear and hope desperately that someone would lead me away before I said something stupid or tripped over something that wasn’t there.”

Gnome: "Harri, this is just an excuse for you to ramble about Paul."
Harriet: "Oh, and you never mention Brad huh?"
Gnome: "Prove me wrong and avoid talking about him in the next question."
Harriet: "Hey, I don't have to mention him...I choose too."
Gnome: "Just get on with the damn question."
Harriet: "Yes oh master...DON'T CRACK THE WHIP."

Q: Have you heard any stupid sayings today?
A: Harriet: "Yes, ‘Two heads are better than one buttock.’ Go figure."
Gnome: “No, but what on earth is that supposed to mean and where did you hear it from? On second thought, maybe it’s best not to ask seeing as how it’s gonna be Paul... Oh, actually, my orange juice from Jack in the Box said ‘thawed for your convenience’ which wasn’t so much stupid, nor a saying, but I found it very odd.”

Q: Any further thoughts on a fourth Fondue installment?
A: Yes, there was a full scale office meeting, in which object were thrown and lawyers chatted freely. Harold feels he could stretch to a fourth, especially now Fondsworth is back. There is a plotline developing (in Harriet's brain) and so the Fondue may continue.

Q: Any ideas what you might call a fourth installment?
A: That's quite tricky, since the current installment is "The Fondue Burns" perhaps "The Fondue Thickens" or "The Fondue Continues" even "It’s all Good in the Fondue Pot."

Q: Will it be set in The United States or Australia?
A: There a possibility it with involve both, and perhaps a third, mysterious country. Perhaps in the direction of say...the United Kingdom.

Q: Have you decided which characters will be involved?
A: Our five established screw ups will be the centre, Fenny, Greg, Brad, Gina and Paul. There's also the possibility of a few unsuspecting surprises. Will Ritza and Rona reappear? Could Jaques make another appearances? Have the heavies got lives yet? These questions may be answered.

Q: Can you possibly leave "The Fondue Burns" with another non-fairytale ending? Is there anything left you can do?
A: With plot genius Harriet, of course we can destroy any hopes and dreams you may have for the characters. You'd be surprised what we have up our sleeves for the poor things. If you thought shootings, affairs and illegitimate children were bad, wait and see what happens next.

Q: Will you be making printed copies of your fics?
A: Pfft, oh yeah...They're going to be best sellers. Perhaps, if money was no obligation there could be a slight possibility. Honestly, if you want printed copies, switch your printer on and do it that way. Easier and cheaper, well for us anyway.

Q: Is money the root of all evil?
A: No, do you think a serial killer does it for the money? Do you think Osama did it for the money? Of course not they do it for mental illness and pure hate. Sure the Friends cast asking for millions every episode is quite evil. But it doesn't represent pure evil, I mean, there are plenty of things that could be classed as the root of all evil, the internet is one or what about slow people in supermarkets and the dark lord himself. So no, money isn't the root of all evil, it might be the root of some evil, like greed. But not all.

Q: Have you won any more awards for your site?
A: Well, we are somebody’s site of the month. We'd like to thank them very much for making us feel so spesh. In fact we were so happy, they let us out in the garden for a whole half hour today.

Q: Is it all over for Gina and Greg?
A: Please, this is fondue. When is anything ever over? There will be plenty more Gina and Greg action when the story line permits (and by Harriet's calculations, that should be soon).

Q: Have you had any more problems with your computers and the like?
A: Harriet has been screaming at the internet, messenger and email all day. It’s decided to go slower than a snail in shit. Meanwhile, Gnome has spent much of her time beating her scanner and swearing loudly at geocities.

Q: Do you really throw ideas around before writing chapters?
A: We certainly do, depending on who is writing, the other will bug them until the latest chapter is sent. Once read, there will be praise and the picking out of the best bits. Then Gnome asks Harriet what's going to happen next and Harriet expresses her ideas. They are discussed, Gnome puts in her two cents worth. Then whoever is writing next is left to interpret those ideas in their own way and then, the process start all over again.

Q: How do you managed to get your writing styles to combine so well, so the reader can't tell who wrote what chapter?
A: God knows, sometimes Gnome will be on fire with the funny stuff and Harriet will take to the dramatic scenes. While other times we'll both waffle. It’s a case of learning from each other, the more humour and action Harriet writes, the more Gnome can toy with it and the same goes for Harriet and the drama and sex (Or that's what she'd have you think - Gnome.)

Q: What is the play about in "The Fondue Burns" ?
A: Who knows, it’s a mystery even to the writers, you can make it about whatever your imagination desires. Besides, it’s amateur theatre, it’s bound to be slightly surreal.

Q: What's the most bizarre thing you have witnessed today?
A: Harriet: "A crocodile dildo...Seriously, it snaps it jaws and everything. And you thought you saw some weird shit on American television."
Gnome: “Footage on the separation of conjoined twins connected at the skull...”

Q: What do you think of the online auction of a day with the WL cast?
A: Harriet: "Well it’s hardly very useful for me. I'm not a big fan of meeting celebrities. There's too much disappointment, but hey, if you want that opportunity, bid for it."
Gnome: “I find it strange that they’d auction off themselves. I can only hope the money is going to charity or the wardrobe department.”

Q: Has there been something that has totally made your day?
A: Harriet: "Two things actually (a) finally taping the "Working Class Anthem" clip and (b) seeing Paul shirt open and sweaty, well I'm pretty sure it’s him...I want to believe its him, it’s an obsession thing."
Gnome: “I’ve been awake for an hour, which has been filled with cousins, complaining, and babysitting of prepubescent freaks. So, no. Although the knowledge that there is such Paul footage on the net is rather pleasing.”

Q: Is there something that has totally got your goat today?
A: Harriet: "Slow internet connections that take forever to download footage of half naked Paul and the realisation I have no idea where anything is on my countless video tapes."
Gnome: “Discovering that Whose Line is no longer being shown on Comedy Central during the day. Granted, I have every episode they’ve shown on tape, but it’s the principle of the thing!”

Q: Who are Fenny and Gina based on?
A: We've covered this question before, but for those of you too lazy to go back to page one: Whenever you write a female character she is essentially going to have part of you in her. In Harriet and Gnome's case, it’s the tearing the clothes off Brad/Paul/Greg bit. Essentially though, they are simply characters that have evolved through the fics.

Q: What do you think of your inclusion in a ficlet?
A: We're not sure whether to be amused or disturbed. It’s an interesting gesture and it's be nice to think Greg would find it so amusing. However, a note to that author, if you make reference to something, do your research, kiddo. Gina has never claimed to be a Greg fan, in fact there's never been reference to her even giving a toss about his career. The author also missed Greg's reaction to Paul being included. I'm sure he would find that more than a little strange. Thanks for the free advertising though.

Q: What's with all the Ozzy Osbourne references?
A: Harriet made reference to something being like Ozzy's brain back in "Burns" and accidentally bugged an Ozzy fan. She's since discovered that if she mentions Ozzy, the fan reviews. Stupidly, she joked to Gnome that she should make reference to Ozzy in every chapter and now without trying, he keeps fitting in. That'll learn her!

Q: Will Brad and Gina do it?
A: This question is slightly worrying. People have started to get excited firstly over the dreams and now the washing machine incident. The only conclusion we have is that you're all a bunch of dirty perves and shouldn't encourage such soap opera behaviour.

Q: How are the plans for installment four shaping up?
A: We've actually done a little planning for a change, instead of just going with the flow. It’s certainly going to be different yet again, perhaps even at such an early stage. It might be the best installment yet. Not brutal like "Burns" and not too soap opraish like the third installment. The next installment is going to be a lot more fun and flirty. Intrigued? We hope so :)

Q: Are Fenny and Paul destined to get together?
A: This is the big question at the moment and to answer it truthfully would be telling, however, it seems to be only you, the readers, who see any sexual tension between them. Fenny is besotted with Brad and Paul and Gina appear to have reached some plateau in their relationship. The thing with Fenny and Paul is that they are hysterical to write as friends. If you got them together it would ruin the only decent asexual relationship in the story.

Q: Did we sense a budding relationship between Tony and Fenny?
A: While this would ultimately be an interesting path to follow, it would be a little too off track to actually fit into the "fondue" series. Perhaps, at some later time, when she's not embroiled in a heated argument with Geocities, Gnome may endeavor to expand on such a topic. Until then we can't promise anything (like we've promised before?) but Tony may get another cameo, you never know.

Q: What was the song used in the first chapter?
A: A song called "Tempted" by "The Squeeze." They're British. Harriet picked the song because she saw Paul join in singing it (oh big surprise) and it kind of fit.

Q: Will we be seeing more of Jenna, the plastic princess?
A: Well she is looking after poor Jag. It’s hard to say, but there is the possibility of her running into Paul at some later date. You'll be pleased to know we are working on some new characters for a possible fifth "fondue" installment.

Q: Other than the brilliant "Fork" are you guys working on anything else?
A: Harriet of course is still working on "Rocky" and "Bolshie's" as you can see, she finally got off her arse and updated them, along with the beginnings of a novel, and she's taken to doing amusing things with song lyric, which may or may not be involved later in the fic. Gnome on the other hand, who has been trying to catch her muse with a lasso, is working on a bit of prequel. All those questions about how Brad and Fenny met, will be revealed (in theory).

Q: There seems to be a lot of singing in "A New Fork in the Fondue;" what songs have you used so far?
A: In no particular order and off the top of our heads (we're far too lazy to look back over our work): Dream a Little Dream by, well everyone really. Throw Your Arms Around Me by legendary Aussie group The Hunters and Collectors. Stayin' Alive by The Beegees, The Penis Song by Paul McDermott (used in a comedy debate "Bigger is Better" you can draw your own conclusions) and Billy Joel's Piano Man tinkered to fit our fic by Harriet. If there's any we've forgotten - tough shit.

Q: Who are those comedians you mentioned Paul and Greg getting drunk with?
A: Those boisterous boys were Scottish comedian Phil Kay, English comic Boothby Graffoe, Aussie's Adam Hills and Greg Fleet and American Rich Hall. All of whom have been on Good News Week (the show Paul used to host) and all of whom are actually friends.

Q: I love Paul McDermott, where can I find him?
A: Ah yes, the big question and the most frequently asked. We'd like to tell you it would be an easy task, but, well, that would be lying and we never lie. For the American fans he's gained, you'll be hard pressed to find a bloody thing, British fans may have a chance since he lived there for a while and Aussies, well we don't need to tell you where to look. All we can really do is suggest The Witches of Eastwick website and if you're really desperate just look up his name on the net. Be warned though, don't go reading about him if you're easily offended.

Q: What is your opinion on fanfiction.net's decision to ban all "real people" fics?
A: While we can understand where ff.net is coming from in some respects it still seems they are a total contradiction of their namesake. For a site dedicated to fanfiction they seem to be pushing the "original" fics a great deal. This takes away the entire purpose of fanfiction and if they are scared of being sued, then they shouldn't have created the site in the first place. We feel personally that our fics are slightly more sophisticated than "slash" and "death" fics and are narked by the people who wrote such things that are now up on some god damn pedestal. When in reality, it’s probably their fault we got kicked off. So to those people, "go suck on a hamster."

Q: What's with the new layout of the site?
A: The old layout created a rather shabby feel to our illustrious site and so Gnome went to Japan to consult with some specialist cyber feng shui experts. After some late nights and several heavy drinking sessions the plan was developed. It’s taken six months to get exactly to a useable state and still Gnome is intending to put the site through some further cosmetic surgery. Well, that's what she told Harriet, although Harriet thinks Gnome is just bored.

Q: Which AFL team do you support?
A: AFL is the Australian Football League for all the non-Australians and Harriet is a very proud Adelaide Crows supporter.

Q: Who do you think will win the AFL final in 2002?
A: Says Harriet: "The Brisbane Lions as I hate Collingwood and they did win too.”

Q: Who is your fave character?
A: Harriet and Gnome do love all their characters, although, let's face, it everyone has a soft spot for Paul

Q: How far can you go with the current story?
A: Define far? We could have Paul and Gina getting divorced, Fenny marrying Andy and having children, Brad and Ritza could shack up and bring up her child together. It's possible to take it anywhere, but you'll just have to wait and see because we're not going to tell you.

Q: Will there be another installment?
A: Let us start this one first…Sheesh!

Q: Who hosted the AFL better? Channel Seven or Ten?
A: Harriet says "Seven, but I like Channel Ten…It's Nine that sucks.”

Q: What season of WL/DL is your favorite?
A: Harriet: "Probably the last season Tony was in"
Gnome: “I never really paid any attention to the seasons, but the Tony ones were best in England, and I’m rather surprisingly pleased with this current season of DL (well the one eppie that didn’t involve guest stars, blargh).”

Q: Who is demon spawns father?
A: It's mentioned in "Sex, Lies and Fondue" and "Burns" so you need to re-read to find out.

Q: What is your favorite animal?
A: Gnome is particularly fond of the very rare Welsh Trip Hound. While Harriet has taken a shine to the Triple Breasted Whore of Babylon.

Q: How long until Satan eats Becky?
A: Too long…

Q: Why are so many of the FAQs subjects of old GNW debates?
A: Because Harriet was running low on ideas and they seemed like a fun idea at the time? Do you have a problem with that?

Q: What was your fave GNW game?
A: "BUZZERS OF DEATH"

Q: Who was better-Mikey Robins or Julie McCrossin
A: Mikey was hysterical, Julie was just painful and bored the pants off of everyone.

Q: Is the reference to the 3-way pash true?
A: God no, if only…That was a terrible lie made up by Harriet who isn't devastated Natasha Stott Despoja lost her job as leader of the Democrats.

Q: Should the crows have accepted Carey?
A: They hardly need Wayne Carey to win and if they trade Kane Johnson Harriet will be pissed. [At this point, Gnome would like to announce that she has no idea what Harriet’s been talking about. Go Dodgers.]

Q: Can we get in on the office betting system?
A: No as you don't work in our office.

Q: Who is winning at the moment?
A: Gnome is still winning, only because she cheats by intentionally throwing various heavy objects at Becky. For example yesterday she lobbed her entire collection of "Dummies" books at Becky all day. She went home with enough money to pay the rent, get to a movie and buy more jello.