ok this one was from my friend Erik. :)

> In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

> > On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping." 
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) 

> > On a bag of Fritos: 
"You could be a winner!    
No purchase necessary. Details inside." 
(The shoplifter special) 

> > On a bar of Dial soap: 
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(Thanks for the clarification...)    

> > On some Swanson frozen dinners: 
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." 
(But it's "just" a suggestion) 

> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):    
"Do not turn upside down." 
(Too late!!) 

> > On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating." 
(As night follows day...) 

> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron: 
"Do not iron clothes on body." 
(But wouldn't this save me more time??) 

> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: 
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we 
could just get those five    year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) 


> > On Nytol Sleep Aid: 
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." 
(One would hope...) 

> > On most brands of Christmas lights: 
"For indoor or outdoor use only." 
(As opposed to what?) 

> > On a Japanese food processor: 
"Not to be used for the other use." 
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.) 

> > On Sainsbury's peanuts: 
"Warning: Contains nuts." 
(Talk about a news flash.) 

> > On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: 
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." 
(Step 3: Fly Delta.) 

> > On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." 
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.) 

> > On a Swedish chainsaw: 
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." 
(Was there a lot of this    happening somewhere??!! My Gosh!)