Britney on Seventeen
By Deborah Baer

Everyone around me has something to say about Britney Spears. And believe me, most people really don’t know anything about her. They’ve just heard things here and there. How could they not? My aunt was in Las Vegas the day Britney got married. “It’s just a publicity stunt,” she said, like she knew. A waitress where I have my breakfast explained it all. “Britney? She’s a tramp… the way she parades her body around. What’s with the belly button out all the time?” Yet another expert.

I see Britney’s face everywhere I go. I hear her music coming up through the floorboards from my downstairs neighbor’s. From the other room, the television is saying something about her red hair and new video. I’m haunted by Britney, and I’m not sure why. Then the call comes from this magazine. They tell me, “If anyone should know what’s going on with her, what’s she really thinking, you should.” They’re asking me because I’m a highly intuitive person, a professional psychic. People consult me when they need answers. I was born with an ability to feel and understand people, even people I’ve never met.

And I’ve never met, never even seen Britney. But she reminds me of another young girl I saw once, in Kathmandu, Nepal. She stared down at me from behind the shutters on a carved wooden balcony for just a moment, until her attendants whisked her away. She was probably about 7 years old but made to look like a woman – adorned in silk and gold, covered in jewels, her dark eyes outlined in black kohl. I was told that she was the kumari devi, the loving goddess, chosen as a small child to be the symbol of power and sanctity of virginity. The most unusual thing about the living goddess is that her feet are never allowed to touch the ground. On the day she gets her first period, she’s thrown out of the palace, and a new living goddess is chosen.

Have we chosen Britney Spears as our living goddess, our own pure, virginal woman-child? If so, then when she does something we don’t like, we’re sure to be disappointed. She never asked for this – a role model is chosen by the person who needs one. If you need to follow Britney, be like her – playful, foolish, successful, and discovering. But remember she’s a Hollywood artist, an entertainer depicting autobiographical stories. When we get a glimpse of her behind the shutters of what we think is her private life, we think we’ve caught her. And before long we’ll be looking for a new living goddess.

When I heard about Britney’s marriage, I smiled. Married, annulled, cleaned up, and sent away – it all happened in 55 hours, just about the length of time you get to be a teenager these days. At 22, Britney already has her whole life behind her and so much more ahead. I think she chose Jason Alexander to be her lawful, wedded husband because she just wanted to go home. He knew her before she was the Britney Spears the whole world knows – or thinks it knows. Maybe just for one moment she wanted to see what her life would’ve been like if she’d taken a different path – the one she might’ve taken if she still lived in her hometown in Louisiana. The path that most of her childhood girlfriends are taking.

What do we know about Britney and Jason? Does it really matter? What Britney did was tell us that she’s not the virgin goddess we wanted her to be. She bleeds. I think she just wanted to touch the ground.

17: Are you a spiritual person?
B: Yeah. I’m just searching right now. I grew up being Baptist, and I started traveling the world. It’s so weird – sometimes you wish you had the naiveness to stay with one religion and go with it. But after seeing the world and seeing all these different religions out there, who’s to say that I’m right, and who’s to say that they’re right?

17: Do you think about why you’re on the path you’re on?
B: Oh definitely. Like why I’m on this journey? Sometimes I’ll read things and I’m like, Was this all predestined? Was I in heaven one day and said, This is the life I’m gonna choose? Yeah, I do have those thoughts sometimes. Why am I who I am right now?

17: What’s been most interesting so far?
B: The whole journey itself. Me just searching and finding out and always being curious. Kabbalah has kind of helped me identify why I’m on this road. I’m not with Kabbalah or with any other religion. But Kabbalah is very interesting to me right now.

17: As a celebrity, how have things changed for you as far as love and relationships go?
B: You know what? When I was in high school and I would break up with somebody – and it’s a small town so everybody knows about it – I really didn’t care that everybody knew. I was oblivious. I was dealing with my own pain. The only time it kind of makes you feel weird is when people make note of it and bring it up. Because if you want to talk about it, you’ll bring it up and talk about it to them. That’s the only thing that’s hard about being a celebrity and it being out there. People will bring it up in interviews, and it’s really like you don’t want to go there and talk about it, because you’re doing that in therapy! [Laughs hard] That’s the weirdest thing in the world.

17: You go to therapy?
B: Yeah. [Laughs]

17: With all that’s happened, do you believe in life that there are “mistakes”?
B: I do think that everything happens for a reason. Also, for me, it’s like your parents have to let go of you. The best gift that they can give is to let you go out into the world and mess up, because it’s allowing you to be free and learn who you are. And I think that’s a cool thing, to make mistakes sometimes. You do learn a lot about yourself. You have reality checks sometimes when you make mistakes, and that kind of moves you onto another path. I don’t condone the behavior I’ve had over the past year. I don’t think there’s an excuse. I just think sometimes you have wild spells, and you learn from that. But the things that I did weren’t very cool. I just wanted to put that out there.

17: Do you feel like you are constantly being pulled in different directions?
B: It’s a sticky situation in my life right now. It’s really about creating a balance. I’ve been doing this since I was a young girl, and you do always have people around you telling you what to do. They’re looking out for your best interests, and you understand that. But where do you draw the line and say what you really want to do? I think a lot of the things I’ve done that seem absurd were out of rebellion and out of wanting to break free. I know that sounds weird. Can’t live in a prison.

17: What’s that? You feel like you live in a prison?
B: Well, sometimes, yeah.

17: Do you ever get a chance to be alone?
B: Recently I don’t like being around a lot of people. I went through a stage after my last tour when I felt like I couldn’t be around crowds much. I was kinda hibernating. In a weird way, it was like I felt like I couldn’t express myself. Then all of a sudden, I had this burst of rebellion, like, I’m gonna do what I want to do! But now lately I’ve been in this real inside-myself mode. I like to be alone.

17: Do you ever feel like you missed out on your teenage years?
B: I was very motivated when I was little, and I was very ambitious. I knew there was something else out there. I know that sounds cheesy and cliché. But I kinda did. My home was being onstage. And the quicker I could get out of the surroundings I was in and feel at home like that, I would do anything to perform. So I got away for two years. Then I came back and I went to high school and I played basketball. I don’t think I missed out on my teenage years. No, not at all. Right now I feel like a little bit of normalcy. But what is normal, you know? What’s normal to you is not normal to me. The thing for me right now is just making things normal for me.

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