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Ten Wars the French were Crap in By Gary Lyon A list done just because I could and bugger the EEC. VIETNAM The French started it all by letting Charlie kick their ass at Dien Bien Phu WORLD WAR 2 Another early bath as the French managed to collapse in days leaving the brave British to fight alone. WORLD WAR 1 The French managed to lose the most men whilst achieving the least. Kept only in the war by the sacrifice of the British. They had the nerve to claim victory at the end when it was the combination of British naval blockades and overwhelming American material that mattered. FRANCO PRUSSIAN WAR They really got their asses kicked big time in this one. Lucky to come second. CRIMEAN WAR The Sardinians were of more use. The French were notable only for their geriatric commander . NAPOLEONIC WARS Because the British beat them time and time again. Especially at sea. By now you should be seeing a pattern here. SEVEN YEARS WAR Guess who beat them lots. Not only at sea, but also in India, Canada and Hanover. WAR OF SPANISH SUCCESSION Another series of great British victories. HUNDRED YEARS WAR Crecy, Agincourt, Poitiers. We came, we saw, we stuffed 'em. GALLIC WARS The French were comprehensibly beaten by a man famous for inventing salad.