Horoscope Character Chart
By Stella
It's not strictly wargaming, but the casting of a general's horoscope or the divinations of an oracle have had an effect on more than one battle. Superstition is still with us today from the animism practised in the Philippines to the Padre's blessing before a battle. Just in case we needed more justification it's funny (besides Stella gave me this and it never pays to upset your umpire unnecessarily).
AQUARIUS
You have an inventive mind and are a progressive thinker. You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless and impractical - making the same mistakes over and over again. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
PISCES
You have vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA. You have some influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. Underneath it all you lack self confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses a lot.
ARIES
You are pioneer type and have strong leadership tendencies but you regard others with contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and don't take well to advice. You are a prick.
TAURUS
You are down to earth and persistent. You are determined and work like hell. Most people think you are a pig headed shit. You're probably a fucking communist.
GEMINI
You are quick and intelligent - a thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are also a cheap bastard - expecting everything for nothing. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.
CANCER
You are extremely sensitive by nature and very caring. You are a wimp. You are hopeless at making decisions and that is why you will always be on welfare and you'll never be worth a shit.
LEO
Leo people are born leaders but most people think they're just pushy. Most Leo's are bullies - they are thick arseholes who break down under honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo's are also thieving bastards who kiss mirrors a lot.
VIRGO
You are the logical type and detest disorder. This picking makes your friends sick. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep when screwing. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.
LIBRA
Libran's are lucky in employment and financial matters. You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male then you are probably queer. Most Libran women are whores. All Libran's die of V.D.
SCORPIO
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will reach the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio's are murdered.
SAGITTARIUS
You are optimistic and enthusiastic with a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. Most Sagittarians are drunks or potheads. People laugh at you a lot because you are always fucking things up.
CAPRICORN
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.
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