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SQUARKS by Andy SQUAWKS are problems noted by USAF pilots and are left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual complaints logged by pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. 1. Test flight okay, except auto-land very rough Auto land not installed on this aircraft 2. DME volume unbelievably loud Volume set to more believable level 3. Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick That's what they're there for 4. Number three engine missing Engine found on right wing after brief search 5. Target Radar hums Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words 6. Aircraft handles funny Aircraft warned to straighten up and be serious 7. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement Almost replaced left inside main tyre 8. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear Evidence removed 9. IFF inoperative IFF always inoperative in OFF mode 10. Something loose in cockpit Something tightened in cockpit