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If It Looks Like It And Smells Like It... By Sonny The Zoo Hi wargaming guys, Sonny the Zoo here. First up, I gotta apologize for not getting along to your Warhammer bust-up in Norwich. I was called away on some business to do a last-minute piece of work, if you follow me. Heard a good time was had by all, and I gotta send a message of congratulations to that friend of ours, Gareth, who ended up Capo di tutti capo of the Fantasy goombahs. Trouble is, I could be sending another message on the back of some more troubling information I got about the competition. Seems that there's a certain element bringing a hint of cheese into the equation when they're drawing up their rosters or conducting wars nowdays. So I've decided to give you guys a quick run-down of what just ain't right if you want to be taken as a stand-up guy and not just another cafone. Mercs Okay, so the DOW rules say what you can hire into your army. And maybe you need to fill in a blank if you're missing a trick on your own army list. But keep it real people, your DOW choices should be in line with the look and feel of your army and not just to beef it up. So, Chaos with a coupla cannons in tow just ain't right. Sonny Rating = Asiago Fresco (mild) He Came Outta Nowhere.. Otherwise known as the Fanatic Goblin Expressway. The tactic is to send your fanatics though your own (cheap) troops so they can hit an expensive enemy target that'd normally be out of range. Not the only (mis)use of the little green spinners - I've heard tell of a player sending them out the back of a unit and off the baseline when an enemy unit turned up too close too soon, rather than have them getting in the way. Sonny rating = Provolone (sharp, nutty) Runway Outta Service This one can happen by accident, but it's creeping in as a tactic. What you do is, you bunch your units together or use scenery to make sure that flyers ain't got room to land. This way, the flyers can't attack. Now I don't hold with a lot of the heavy flyers in the game, but deliberately avoiding fighting them ain't the way fellas. Sonny rating = Teleggio (semi-soft) Stand Here and Say That Troops that don't break and run? Two ways of getting a bigger benefit out of them have come up so far. First up is the Zombie Conga Line. What your Deadite player does is raise a bunch of zombies on the flank of an enemy unit; arrange them in a 1-wide snake formation; then dance them into combat. He cuts the rank bonus and ties the enemy up while they're fighting one model per turn. Second there's the Slayer Wall. You get a long line of unbreakables and stand them in front of your war machines/shooters on a hill, or your spellcasters. They don't care that they ain't got no rank bonus - you gotta chop your way through them to get to what's behind. Sonny Rating = Mozzarella (buffalo curds) Chaos Moon I've seen this demonstrated, but never used in a real fight. If you're fielding a Bloodthirster of Khorne (and that's starting to get cheesy already), you don't want it flying off and attacking the wrong guys in a frenzy. So you fly it close enough for the enemy to be taking terror tests, then turn the model around so's his back is towards them. Next turn he can fly off again without having to charge. Sonny Rating = Gorgonzola (strong odour) Before any potential cheese-merchants start to complain, I know that all the above tactics is legal by the letter of the Warhammer rules. All I'm saying is you fight to win, but if you fight with no honour then you deserve no respect. Final words, cheese is also in evidence if your armies are starting to get loaded with big-points killers. If you start with the "he brought a giant so I gotta bring a greater demon" then nobody ends up winning. (William and Jon, your fish are in the mail). So keep the armies and your tactics toned down guys - you'll have more fun. Done talkin'. Sonny (Thanks to the WPS Website and WorldofCheese.com)