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Crystal Palace v. Visitors1999 Show report by Lee PriorWell show season is coming to an end for yet another year, and many questions seem to have been asked lately (especially in the wake of N.O.W.) about what it is that attracts people to go to these shows. Well, obviously there are no set answers as we are all individuals, we all have our own likes and dislikes. But I made a special effort to analyse just what pulls me to visit half a dozen of these shows a year when I, being a dutiful trade fair lemming, visited the much awaited "S.E.L.W.G." show last Sunday. As always I planned to have an early night, because of starting out early the following morning, and as always, I never got to bed before 2am (well, one can't be anti-social at home before going out to enjoy oneself for the day, can one?). I'd also planned, as usual, to take some things for the bring and buy, and as usual I spent half of Saturday evening trying to make up my mind whether or not I wanted to part with these 'old friends'. And again, as usual, most of them ended back up on the shelves. At last it was time to leave. Black as Newgates Knocker, lashing with rain, and damn cold!, the morning was none to welcoming. Greeting us on our arrival was an enormous queue for admission. Despite the pouring rain and howling winds we were all kept in line outside by the guards (or stewards) until the doorman opened up, with meticulous regard for the allotted time. Military Precision! (what else should one expect if one wishes to play with soldiers?). This rather cold professionalism was also evident at the next hurdle, queuing to put items on the 'Bring and Buy'. Having negotiated the very time consuming task of standing in line to book in, I'm told "Soldiers only on this table". A great way to treble your bring and buy takings. Books, games, etc had to be booked in (and paid for) at separate tables. Perhaps I should have put them all back in the car. After all there was so much to see, and I only had one day. Tasks over, I made my way eagerly to the stall I most wanted to see. Handing my list over to the assistant, I could hardly contain myself when he said "Hanovarian artillery? That's the new ones! You like these, they're great." The after a few moment rummaging behind the display table. "Oh! We don't have any of those in I'm afraid, but I've got French. Would you like those?". With a polite smile, it was my big day out after all), I asked about the second item on my list. "Horse Grenadiers? No, we don't have those either. But I've got some nice..." My enthusiasm was fast waning, and the half time score was definitely Crystal Palace 3, Visitors 0. So why do we go to these shows? We can spend hours travelling, days queuing, get spoken down to by arrogant stall holders, wound up by dribbling idiot stall holders (there are definitely a few of these) and speaking for myself at least, getting captured by complete strangers who will insist on telling you of their painting techniques while you stand there with a stupid look on your face trying to fake an interest, while all the time wishing you could just tell them that you could get the same effect by dropping it in cat food and throwing it in the garden for a fortnight. (Yes Gary, you'd just tell 'em.) Fortunately, for all of these off-side, there are definitely shots on target, and its easy to score a goal if you really want to. The exhibition games are magnificent, there are thousands of models to tempt every conceivable taste. Traders old and new offering those little 'Bits + Pieces' that we've been meaning to get for ages but keep forgetting. And of course, you have a great day out with your mates. This show is still one of the big crowd pullers and I'll be there again next year, when they get their venue sorted out. Full time score... Crystal Palace 3, Visitors 4. |