Rating: K +
Description: Usagi finds an anonymous story
on the net and is suprised at hom much it sounds like the relationship
she has with Mamoru. It's time to find out exactly how he feels.
Disclaimer: Don't own a damn thing.
Usagi relaxed into the leather office chair, leaning back as far as it would let her, watching as the computer came to life, waiting patiently for the home page to appear. It was a dark night, and her family was out, opting to go to a movie; there was nothing planned for Usagi that night, however, and she had decided that it was a good night to use the computer.
It took a moment for the start page to come up, and a little longer for the internet to connect, but Usagi was in no hurry, it was one of those lazy nights where nothing really needed to be done. Well, except homework of course, but that wasn’t due til Thursday, and that was two whole days away! For a bit of fun, the blonde decided to look up random things on Google, beginning with family names and their meanings.
Usagi had been using the internet for about 15 minutes when she came across something suspicious; it was a page found through a local site, one used by ex-Juuban Middle School students. The link she had clicked, had taken her to what seemed to be a story of sorts. The page was anonymous, but there was something familiar about the story; the author described a blonde, who was incredibly beautiful, but also amazingly clumsy. The story went on to describe encounters between the blonde and the author, and how they always fought, often starting because the blonde ran into the writer.
Usagi’s eyes were popping out of her head by this time, she was staring at the screen in disbelief; if she didn’t know better, she would have said the author was Mamoru, but that was impossible, she hadn’t seen him in a week and this entry was dated only a few days ago. The more she read this site, the less it seemed like a story, and the more it felt like a diary, or even a blog, to her. However, she was willing to concede, that to other people it could just seem like a far fetched story.
“This is so weird,” the blonde said aloud to herself, “Could it be Mamoru writing this? The last entry is almost exactly the same as the fight we had last week, before he disappeared off the face of the earth.” She sighed, this was ridiculous, the web was a huge place, and she was wondering if this was written by the annoyance of her life. *Yeah* she thought, *But it was linked from that local site, so there is a chance… Goodness, you’d almost think I wanted this to be written by him!*
Usagi moved the cursor, scrolling down the page; her eyes alit on a single sentence, almost hidden by the rest of the text: “She’ll never know how much I need her.”
Blue eyes blinked, reading and re-reading that simple sentence; Usagi tried the words out on her tongue, then leaned back, very pensive by now. “Needs her,” there was disbelief laced throughout her soft voice, “Needs me?” There was no doubt in her mind that it was him, this prose had too many hints within it for her to think otherwise; she would know those inflections anywhere, written or spoken.
“Me.” The word rang through the otherwise empty room, “But what do I do?”
-----
It had been three days since her fateful night spent on the computer, and over the past three days a number of things had happened; the first was that she was put in detention for not finishing that homework, the second was that she had seen, and argued with, Mamoru for the first time in one week, one day, and nine hours, not that she was counting, and the third was that she had found a new entry on the site.
Usagi decided to test a theory she had, and if she was correct, then there would be a new entry on that site in the near future, and it would detail the meeting she’d had with Mamoru only yesterday.
It took a minute for the blonde to draw up the courage to turn the computer on; Usagi was jumpy, anxious, and impatient, a direct contrast to a few nights ago when she’d been so calm and patient. Now, the computer took too long to start, and waiting for the dial up to connect felt like waiting for judgement in a trial. Something went wrong with the connection, and she had to restart the computer to see if it would fix anything.
“This is so annoying!” Usagi raged out loud, “Why is it so slow?!”
It was at that moment, however, that the internet finally connected properly, and she was able to access the site. Usagi had to take a deep breath, and calm herself considerably; there was something akin to butterflies flying around her stomach, and for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out why.
“It’s not like this is a big deal or anything... I mean, it’s only Mamoru or someone…” but this did nothing to quell the mixture of excitement and nervousness. She apprehensively scrolled down the homepage, slowly reading the titles of each entry, until she came to a new one, clicking on it. “Well, here goes. I have my first shred of proof; now let’s see if I win the prize.”
It was. This was exactly what had happened the day before, but from another point of view, which obviously wasn’t hers or an observers.
It read: /I suppose I should be used to the constant arguments, but I’m not, even though it always seems to be me that start’s them. There’s just something about her that makes me want to find any way to keep her near, even if it involves arguing. I guess I’d been down at the arcade for about an hour, waiting, before she appeared; as always it was a shock, though I’ve no idea why. At first she didn’t appear to notice me, but, unlike normally, I did not want to provoke her into arguing with me, not just yet. So I sat there, staring into my drink, wondering if she would ever notice; it seemed like forever, but she did, making a comment about my jacket. Of course, I had to retort, even though I hate the green thing as much as she, I just can’t get rid of it, the thing was my fathers./
There was more, of course, and it described every little detail of their encounter, only leaving out names. Usagi was shocked, this was unbelievable.
“What to do now?” Her voice questioned the air and surroundings, “What to do now…”
Usagi was panicking, it had been over an hour and she still had no solution to her problem. The blonde had quickly realised that her only two options were not possible, not in her mind; either she confronted Mamoru, or she didn’t. But Usagi hated both of those scenarios, and didn’t want to do either.
It’s not fair! Why can’t this be simple? If the boy likes me, why can’t he talk to me about it? Why the heck did he have to write it up on this website?! I am sooo unused to seeing this side of Mamoru, and technically I’m not even seeing the side, I’m reading it, so therefore it can’t be true.* Usagi sigh at that last thought, the one thing that she had spent the last hour trying to convince herself of, was that there was no possible way that it was Mamoru writing this.
*How about, I write the ‘author’ of this site an email, and see how they reply? Of course, I’d have to pretend to be someone else, but that’s not difficult over the internet! Genius!* Usagi grinned, that much a much better option than the other two, though she was sure that one of the two original options would be implemented in the near future.
The blonde reached toward the mouse, navigating the site looking for any mention of the authors email address; ah-hah! There it was, ‘blueeyedobsession@yahoo.com’, with a tag telling people to email him if they had questions.
She squealed, it was too perfect! Usagi clicked on the email address, and a new window came up; a blank page but for the email address. *What to write?* she asked herself, *Maybe start off with a normal question, and after he replies to that, you can ask him more.*
“Alright,” Usagi said out loud, staring at the blank screen, “Here goes…”
/BlueEyedObsession,/ She wrote, /I’m very interested by your site, the entries are so heartfelt; its nice to read something that feels so real. It almost reminds me of something though, something I’ve heard around the place, about a girl and boy who fight constantly, but seem to like each other. But that’s not really my point, what I wanted to know was: Why do you keep all this secret? It doesn’t sound like you’ve told her, and she obviously has no idea, but any girl would be so flattered and impressed by your way of spilling you feelings. Sure, she’d be a bit annoyed that you’d kept this from her, but you can deal with that. Sorry for wasting your time, and thank you for listening/reading. From, GirlOfTheMoon./
Usagi sighed, that had been surprisingly hard to write, as though she had no involvement in this whole thing at all. It had been a stoke of pure genius to put in that rumour though, she knew that she’d heard it around, definitely talking about the two of them, even though she denied it strongly. She relaxed back into the office chair, *And now we wait.. It shouldn’t take him too long to reply, he’s a collage student so he should be awake and checking his emails right now…* 15 minutes later, there was still no reply, and Usagi was about to log off when she found that she’d just been sent a new email. A rush of excitement ran through her, was it him?
/GirlOfTheMoon,/ it said, /I’m very glad that you like the site and my entries, I’ve tried to be as honest as I can be with them. I find that I can’t say anything in real life, so I write about it on my site. You know, I hadn’t heard that rumour, but it sounds about accurate, well from my side anyway; I have no idea how she feels. I keep it secret because I have to, because it would ruin everything between us if I said or did anything. Flattered? I doubt it, she hates me; and I guess that’s fair, I’m such a jerk to her. But I also figure that the longer I keep this from her, the more annoyed she’s going to be when she finds out./ Usagi had to snort, *I’m not annoyed right now! I was at first, but not anymore…* /You didn’t waste my time at all, I was just checking my emails and it was nice to hear from someone who likes the site. I’d love to talk to you more, hear your thoughts on each of the matters, and maybe tell me why we argue like we do? From, BlueEyedObsession (Mamoru)/
“AH-HAH!” Usagi yelled, “IT IS HIM!” She did a little victory dance, then realised exactly what she was dancing about and shut up, becoming very sober. “Uh-oh... He wants my advice, on myself?! How do I do that? … Actually, that’s got to be easier than if I was someone else, considering I know what I want. But... Ohh… this is going to be weird. Let’s just hope I don’t see him in the next few days…”
/Mamoru, she would definitely be flattered, let me talk from experience, no matter how much you think they’d hate it because its too sappy or whatever, secretly, they really do love it. All girls keep that little love of fairytales coming true within their hearts, its how we’re made. Sounds to me, that with all this fighting, she might actually feel something too; besides, what can it hurt to actually do something? Almost no girl is going to protest if you tell them that you like them etc. Why you argue like you do? Because.. well the best answer is because you’re both frustrated by your feelings, so you take that out on each other,/ *Kami-sama, knows I do!* /I think it’d be great if we talked more, sounds like you’re really confused by all of this, poor thing. Xx GirlOfTheMoon (Serena)./
Now, Usagi knew he’d definitely reply to this one, considering he was probably just as anxious, about what she said, as she had been waiting for his reply. It had taken her a minute to think about what name she could use, considering there was no way she was using Usagi for all of this; her middle name would have to suffice.
There was a short wait, maybe only about 5 minutes this time, for a reply to come through:
/Serena, Really? That’s interesting, I had no idea. I guess its true for guys as well, no matter how much they seem like wild crazy boys who only love parties and chicks, they still like to entertain the though of someone out there for them; well I know I do anyway, I’m not too sure about the rest of the male population… I guess I’m afraid she will be disgusted or something, I mean, I’m a lot older than she is, and I’m pretty sure she thinks I hate her. It makes sense that we fight because of that, but it still confuses me… Why is this all so frustrating and annoying, why can’t it be easy? Mamoru./
/Mamoru, you know, this would be a lot easier over instant messenger… But considering that I have to go to bed soon (I am sooo exhausted, today has been ridiculously tiring), that’s not going to happen tonight. Really; girls love real life fairytales. That’s cute that you do too; why don’t you send me a picture, and then we can see if you’re really that much older looking. I’m sure she doesn’t think you hate her, just that you don’t like her very much; maybe you should try and show her that you really don’t dislike her as much as she thinks. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be any fun, my dear boy; no fun at all. Xx Serena. P.S – have to go! My annoying brother wants the computer, so I’ll talk to you tomorrow I guess. Hope it all goes well! Seeya!/
Shingo didn’t really want the computer; Usagi just didn’t know how long she could keep up this charade, even over the internet. It was a lot of hard work! She made her way back to her bedroom and lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her thoughts centred upon Mamoru; little signs from each of their fights were now etched into her mind, how could she have not realised before?
Worse, she was beginning to realise that she might, just possibly, have feelings for him too.
Usagi was, for once, not late for school; not because she got up at a different time, or because she didn’t run into Mamoru, or because she’d gone the wrong way. No, it was none of these reasons at all, and the reason was –
“SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!” She screamed as she ran down the stairs at about midday (okay, so maybe she was up a liiiitle later than usual), “Freedom is MINE!”
“Yes, we know Usagi,” said Ikuko wearily, “We know… You’ve only been telling us about them for the last week.” Usagi grabbed some food from the fridge and began eating, talking between bites.
“So.. /chews/ Me and the girls /chews/ are going to go and do some shopping /chews/ near the arcade, /chews/ so I’ll see you later, ‘kay Mama?” Usagi swallowed and grabbed her bag, looking back at her mother for confirmation, “Bye!”
This was her normal holiday act, but somehow today it felt somewhat forced, and very awkward, for an unknown reason. Continuing, Usagi walked out of her house, turning left towards the main road, her hair bouncing with each step, humming happily, *Now we see if my advice did anything…* It didn’t take long for Usagi to reach the Arcade, but to her disappointment, Mamoru wasn’t there.
*Ah well.. Guess I’ll just have to go for a milkshake instead.* She ordered and stared off into space, drinking her chocolate milkshake. *I hope he comes in soon, I want to know if my advice did anything…* Luckily for Usagi, Mamoru was on his way to the Arcade, having made plans with Motoki the day before.
She was still staring off into space when he entered, unobtrusively for once, and made his way to the counter where Motoki was standing. Usagi barely noticed, too engrossed in her chocolate haze to have much of a reaction; it was, however, a cute picture to Mamoru, (who swore that he wasn’t really looking), with her straw only just kept in her mount and her eyes gazing off into oblivion, anyone else could have been fooled into thinking she was deep in thought.
Though he did not look it, Mamoru was nervous, he had been given advice, from a mysterious girl, the night before on what to do about Usagi. He had known he would see her today, and had even thought up a mental dialogue as to what each of them would say, though he didn’t hold much hope for it. After a moment on indecision, he resolved to at least say something to the blonde; he walked over slowly, unsurely, nervously.
“Um, Hi,” he ventured, almost wanting to wave a hand in front of her glazed eyes and call her Odango Atama, but he controlled himself, “How’s it going?”
“Huh, whaa..” Usagi muttered as she came out of her stupor, shaking the hand which had been supporting her chin for the past 10 minutes, “Oh, Mamoru. It’s you.”
All in all, Usagi was rather proud of that performance, it appeared as though nothing had changed, “What do you want?” she managed in a suspicious but curious tone. It was lucky she didn’t need to say anymore, since a funny feeling had spread throughout her stomach, somewhat akin to butterflies. Butterflies? She thought, But I’m not nervous!
“I – I just wanted to enquire as to how you are, no ulterior motive, I swear,” the dark haired man said honestly, watching Usagi’s face intently.
“I’m fine, really,” Usagi said with one of her trademarked bubbly smiles, “What about you?” she asked in a moment of spontaneity. She was surprised by an uncharacteristic, actually happy smile from Mamoru in response.
“I’m better than I have been in a while actually, thank you for asking,” even through this new, tentative semi-friendship, Mamoru was still the soul of courtesy. There was a moment of silence and complete awkwardness, before Mamoru thought to relieve the tension, “well, err, I guess I’ll talk to you later; Bye Usagi.” He left quickly, not looking back towards what he thought would have been a confused Usagi; however he would have been surprised.
Usagi was smiling, a sly little conspiratorial smile, yet still one with a hint of innocence. It was working, however slowly, this was working; something in that fact gave the blonde a great feeling of satisfaction, in the knowledge that one way, or another, Mamoru would eventually get to the right page in her book.
There was something innately satisfying in such a thought, as though this was how it was always meant to be; she knew there would be bumps in getting him to skip a few pages and get to the right spot of the book, but she also knew that she could manipulate him there. Yet, the pleasure was not in the manipulation; she knew that he, Mamoru, the college guy, had a crush on her, middle school, klutzy Usagi. It was a warm feeling, one that brought great comfort and knowledge. So, yes, this would all work out.
---
Usagi arrived home, and hopped straight onto the computer, somewhat eager to find the next instalment of this saga, and also quite curious as to what Mamoru was writing in his blog for today’s entry. She was in for a slight disappointment however, the only new thing written in his blog was “Serena. Add me to your MSN messenger list.”
She sighed, figuring that he probably wasn’t even online yet; she gazed around the study as she waited for the messenger to log her in, she added him and was astonished to find him online. He was enthusiastic in his greeting.
/Serena! Hey! So guess what? I took your advice! Well, some of it anyway. I stopped being so abrasive and actually did something nice (well, nice for my usual treatment of her anyway). Thank you so much./
/Hey, Mamoru. That’s great to hear!/ She replied, /So, what did you do?/
He launched into a detail recount of their 5 minute conversation, which she punctuated with things like: “Oh, really? And how did she take that?” or “Sounds like things are going better then!”
One sentence of his, however, stood out, something incredibly sweet: /It feels like maybe this will work, like maybe, just maybe, its meant to be./
Usagi felt her heart melt a little more at that comment, she could almost hear him say it, in the voice he had used that afternoon. Her confidence was boosted greatly, and that warm feeling wasn’t going away.
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