July 2001:  Learning to Laugh Again

"Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away."  --Isaiah 35:10

I never felt such indescribable pain and grief when my son died.  I felt like I had died, too.  For weeks I couldn't even imagine ever feeling any happiness again.  Smiling seemed wrong, and laughter was impossible.  For some parents, this feeling may last anywhere from a few days to several months or even years.  Grief is normal and real.  It is okay to feel sad and miss your child.  It is okay to cry.  But it is also okay to feel joy.     

A pastor I know once told the following story:

One night I got a desperate phone call from my friend.  His son, who was sixteen, had been accidentally shot at a friend's house.  My friend and his wife were on their way to the hospital and wanted me to meet them there.  They didn't know how he was doing, but hoped for the best.  When we got to the hospital, a nurse took us to a private room and we just sat and prayed and wept, pleading for their son to be healed.   It was a long time before any of us knew what was going on.  Finally, one of the doctors came into the room with a grave look on his face.  Stephen had died.  I looked over at Stephen's mother, expecting her to collapse in tears.  But an amazing thing happened.  Suddenly, she rose to her feet, lifting her hands to God in praise and thanksgiving, for her son was in heaven with Jesus.  The joy of the Lord fell upon all of us in that room.  It wasn't the joy of this world, but the joy of God, which is beyond understanding and greater than anything we can receive from the world.  In the darkest hour of our lives, God met us with gladness.  This didn't mean that my friends didn't cry or grieve for their son.  They went through a lot of difficult times.  Even today, they still miss Stephen.  But they lean on God, who carries them through and sustains them when they cannot bear the pain.