ACTUAL announcements from ACTUAL church bulletins.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who
are not afflicted with any church.
Evening massage - 6 PM
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
Miss Charlene Mason, sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake breakfast next Sunday morning
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper well be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
The Reverend Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
During the absence of our pastor we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Scubbs supplied our pulpit.
The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday - "I upped my pledge - up yours!"
A song listed in the Church Bulletin at the Nazarene Church in Little Rock, Arkansas; in connection with a sermon on God's mantle..."Let's God Mangle Fall on Me." (submitted by Luella Long)
Next Sunday, Mrs. Vinson will be the soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
The choir will meet at the Larsen home for fun and sinning.
A song fest was hell at the Methodist Church Wednesday.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.
Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell on her.
Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some of the older ones.
The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved...the financial secretary gave a grief report.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
Missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Name Bertha Belch. Announcement: "Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
Announcement in a church bulletin for a
National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting
& Prayer conference includes meals.
Authors Unknown.
These religious writings were stolen from St Mary's Priory Church in Portchester, England I beg their forgiveness.
Godsquid
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