Shinji Ikari

Shinji is the central character of the story and the third chosen EVA pilot. His father chose him to pilot EVA-01, the first prototype when the Third Angel attacked in the first episode. Shinji first presented himself to be a really weak person who is afraid of everything. Throughout the series, a complete tour of his mind was given as he undergoes a catharsis.

Shinji constantly deceives himself to escape from the painful reality. He wanted to remember his father praising him. He wanted to remember Misato calling him number 1 in synchro. He does not want to remember being deserted by his father. He does not want anyone to dislike him. Anything that made him unhappy he did not want to know or remember. He lived his life by painting a rosy picture for himself.

Although Shinji’s demonstrated weakness throughout the series, it does not mean that he is always so. He also has a courageous side, which often surface to snap him into action. There is a constant conflict within himself between these two sides. He could never reconcile his feelings towards his father. He loves him and hates him. Shinji hated him for deserting himself as a boy, yet he enjoyed his father’s praises. In the first episode, he refused to pilot EVA. After he saw the pain that Rei was going through was even greater, he instantly changed his mind. In the third episode, he was even ordered to retreat after rescuing Toji and Kensuke, but he did not stop until the 4th Angel was destroyed. In episode 16, he undergoes a self examination where his courageous self confronts his weak self, and telling himself not to run away from his problems. He had allowed his “cowardly?self to dominate most of the time since he thought it is easier to escape from the problem. In the end, he finally realized that escaping from reality is even more painful than confronting it.

Shinji did not have any sense of self worth when he first arrived at NERV. His father had left him on his own at a very young age. Therefore he felt that his father never cared about his existence. During the attack in the first episode, his sense of self-confidence and self worth was so low that he felt completely worthless. The responsibility to pilot EVA-01 was too much to bear. He feared the responsibility so much that he sternly refused to pilot the EVA unit, even when the Angel Attack was imminent and no one else can pilot EVA but him.

His self-confidence gradually changed as his talent for piloting EVA-01 was slowly realized. After accomplishing many successful missions and reaching the highest synchro-rate, he was praised by many, including his father. His confidence grew tremendously. In fact he became overconfident and got himself trapped inside the Sea of Dirac in episode 16.

Although Shinji became a very confident person as the story progressed, his sense of self worth was still very fragile, because it was completely derived from piloting EVA. Without EVA, he feels like nothing again. That was evident after the 17th Angel, Nagisa was killed. The fact that he may no longer be important bothered him. EVA was the only thing that made him feel needed. He did not want to give that up. That is a moment that he felt like himself. He was praised when he piloted EVA. That made him feel happy. He felt that all he has is EVA. He has lost his self to EVA. He has become EVA. He was too dependent on another’s praise to support his sense of self worth. During the final lines of the last episode, Shinji finally realizes that it is great to be himself. It is great to like himself rather than depending on another to like him. His existence is worthwhile.