Gokan/Narrator - Hello again my loyal slaves. Uh, crap, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Ok, bad news: I will not be able to be having long intros to each rewrite. It seems that I form a writer’s block when doing one. So, the intros will be short and sweet, just like me. Well, maybe I’m not so sweet, but short is good. Though in some cases short is not acceptable. This one time, at band camp... Oh, wait wrong subject, Muhahahaha!!! Oh crap, I’ve almost hit the half page mark. (Writing on paper) Well, I guess we should get back to the matter at hand, the storyline.
Field Exam Part 2
Locations: Car on the way to Balamb
::: Everyone is waiting for Zell to get back in the car. Last time he fell out of the car because he was stupidly opening the door when the car hit a bump. He ran after them, and they felt sorry and came back for him :::
Zell - ::: To Seifer ::: Fine, I'll get in, Mr. BitchBox
Squall - Ya! Score one for the Zell and Squall team!
Seifer - Shut up Chicken Wuss! Ya, score for Seifer!
Quistis - Did someone say score??
All - ::: Mega Face Fault :::
Zell - Ok, let's get to Balamb.
Quistis - Ok, let's go!
Location: Balamb, A nice, if not small, port town.
::: The squad arrive at Balamb, stop the car, and everyone gets out :::
Squall - ::: Jumps out of car and breathes heavily ::: THANK GOD! AIR! ROOM!
Seifer - Hehe, a claustrophobic chicken wuss!
Squall - Shut up!
Zell - Home at last!
Squall - Huh?
Zell - Yup! I was raised here.
Squall - Ooohhhh, I see now.
Quistis - Ok, We have about an hour before departure, so let's pair up and explore. Zell and Squall, you are together, and Seifer, you're with me.
Seifer - ::: unenthusiastically ::: Yay.
Squall / Zell - Ha ha!
::: Quistis and Seifer head off in a random direction :::
Zell - Hey Squall, wanna go to my house and toke up?
Squall - Hell ya!
::: Switch to Quistis and Seifer who are in some park :::
Quistis - Ohhhhh! Oh yes! Oh, harder Seifer!
Seifer - You got it!
Quistis - Oh ya! That’s the spot! Thanks for the message Seifer.
Seifer - No problem, anytime. You should try to be less stressful.
Quistis - Ok, I'll try.
Gokan - Hey! Don’t look at me like that! I know what you were thinking! This isn’t a lemon, you god damn perverts!
Loudspeakers from the dock - DING The hydro train will be departing shortly, so all passengers planning on leaving should do so quickly. Thank you! DING
Seifer - Well, you heard it, let's go.
Quistis - Right.
::: They head towards the dock :::
::: Back to Squall and Zell who were about to load the bowl of Zell's bong :::
Seifer - Damn it! Every time I try to get a decent high, I have to go somewhere!
Zell - ::: Putting bowl away ::: I know what you mean, man! Oh well, Lets go.
Location: Docks
::: Everyone is about to get on the hydro train to get to Dollet. There is a new person, her name is Xu. She is a superior of SeeD and is here to brief the squad on their mission :::
Xu - Welcome! This mission will decide if you get into SeeD or not. Your objectives are: Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla and more Bla.
Seifer - Yes Commander Xu.
Squall - Riiight
Zell - ZZZZZZZZZZ
Quistis - ::: Thinking to self ::: I wonder if she is a bi...
Squall - I’m going above deck to see where we are.
All - Ok
Zell - ZZZZZZZZzzzz
::: On his way out, Squall slaps Zell upside the head :::
Zell - Damn it! Don’t make me go Omega on your ass! I’m crazy! I WILL DO IT!
Squall - Whatever
Location: Dollet
::: They arrive and everyone gets out of the hydro train :::
Seifer - We are here. Squad B, Fall in!
Squall - Yes, Ass.
Seifer - Huh?
Squall - Zell and I have decided to call you Ass instead of Sir.
Seifer - What the hell? Man, you're not funny. Give me fifty push ups, NOW!!
Squall / Zell - Yes Ass! ::: Drop down and start pushing up :::
Seifer - ::: Growls ::: Now, let’s get to our post.
Squall / Zell - Yes Ass!
Location: Post
Squall - Well, now that we are here, what do we do?
Seifer - We sit here and wait.
Squall - Wait for what?
Seifer - Uhhh.... Don’t question your orders soldier!
Squall - Yes Ass!
Seifer - Errr...
Zell - Hey Squall! Look, it's a dog!
Squall - Ohh! Doggie! Come here boy, come here! What a cute puppy you are! Yes you are!
Seifer - Damn it Squall, now is not the time to be playing with strays! ::: Kicks Dog ::: Get the hell out of here mutt!
Squall - You are an evil man, Seifer!
Seifer - Tell me something I don’t already know. Now, sit down and shut up! Both of you!
Squall / Zell - Fine.
::: A couple hours pass, and some soldiers also pass. Loud Boom :::
Squall - What the hell was that all about?
Zell - Hell, I don’t know.
Seifer - I'm fed up. I’m going in!
Zell - Fine, go, get the hell out of here!
::: Seifer runs off :::
Zell - ::: Looks at Squall and grins widely ::: Yes, now it is time!
Squall - Oh yeah! ::: Whips out a pipe ::: I got my Hash Pipe!
Zell - ::: Whips out a joint ::: Ya, That’s the stuff.
::: Finally, they get high. When they finish, they set out to go find Seifer, but instead they find something much, MUCH worse.... :::
Selphie - Is this Squad B? I need to see your Captain!
Zell - AHHH!! POINTY HAIR! IT IS DEFYING GRAVITY!!!
Selphie - YOU DARE MOCK ME??? ::: Shoves nunchuck up Zell’s ass :::
Zell - AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! THE PAIN! THE PAINNNN!!!!!
Squall - Ha ha!
Zell - You know, this is really uncomfortable. Could you politely remove this thing from my ass??
Selphie - Uhhh... NO!
Squall - Ha ha! Oh... Our captain went ahead to get some head, or something.
Selphie - Humm... Sounds fun... Well off I go! ::: Starts to walk away :::
Squall - We will help you find him. ::: Follows Selphie :::
Zell - ::: Trying to follow ::: Uhhh... Guys? Uh, there is a nunchuck up my ass! Guys? Nunchuck, ass! Get the point? DAMMIT WAIT!! HELP!!!
Squall - ::: Rips nunchuck out of Zell's ass ::: There, is that better?
Zell - OWW!! I guess, kind of. Pain, stinging, owww...
Squall - Good. ::: Turns to Selphie ::: Here you go. ::: Hands crap covered nunchuck to Selphie :::
Selphie - ::: Starts to reach, then looks ::: EEEWWWW!! ::: Smacks Squall :::
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