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Disclaimer: I do not own the gundam boys, nor am I making any
money off of this. The concept of the confessor is based on the
Sword of Truth novels by Terry Goodkind.
Warnings: Angst, some violence, mild language, death of a minor
character, shounen-ai (just trying to cover all the bases here,
folks)
Pairings: 1+2, 3+4. a little more obvious this time around
Archive: Sure, Be my guest. Let me know and I'll give you
website a few free hits!
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The Confessor Series
Part 7
Heero stared at the patch of trees where Duo had disappeared for
a few seconds, before turning back to Wufei.
"Lets finish this."
He and Wufei drew their swords and motioned for the remaining
prisoners to kneel. Then, with a detached air of
professionalism, they worked their way through the crouching men,
their swords rising and falling. It took about ten minutes to
finish the bloody work, but none of the prisoners cried for
mercy. They were all still in shock after witnessing the
terrible revenge the black-clad confessor had taken on their
leader, and none wished to follow in his path.
Heero straightened up after then last one, blood splattered
liberally over his tunic and face. He stretched his back,
arching like a cat, just glad to get that bloody job over with.
He was reaching into his back pocket for a rag to clean his
gore-spattered sword, when Quatre's voice called his attention.
"Heero? Come here and look at this." Quatre was standing over
the grimy bundle Duo had carried out of the now-charred bandit
leader's tent. He had pulled away the covering and was staring
in stunned surprise at the broken body of a little girl. The
blond mage now understood the reason for Duo's rage, and the cold
need for bloody, brutal revenge, because he too felt it in every
fiber of his being. But the confessor had already destroyed the
vile creature in a very satisfying manner and for that he was
grimly pleased to have witnessed it. Heero, Trowa and Wufei came
over and stopped dead at the sight. They didn't say a word, but
comprehension and understanding showed in each of their faces.
Only Wufei could think of anything to say.
"I would have to say justice has been served."
Heero looked at the trees again. He then took a deep breath and
exhaled. He shook his head and started issuing orders.
"Wufei, you and Trowa do a quick search of the camp and gather
items you think we may need. Quatre, you go get the horses and
bring them back. I know you are tired but I think it's best if
you all move up the mountain a couple of miles at least to make
camp. This place is not a good place to be tonight." He gestured
to the corpse-littered clearing. "I'll catch up to you in the
morning, "
"What are you going to do?" Quatre asked in the midst of a
jaw-cracking yawn.
"I'm going to bury the child, then I will find Duo." Trowa and
Wufei nodded and set about their tasks. Quatre set off down the
mountain to where they had left their mounts, trying not to
stagger with exhaustion. Heero looked down and the battered
corpse at his feet and once again saw the burning tent in his
mind.
It took about four hours to get everything organized and find a
place to make camp. Quatre was so tired he had slumped down on
Sandrock's cream-colored mane and slept. Trowa found a passable
place to spend the night and in a short time had a small warm
fire going. They were high up in the mountains now and the night
air was getting a definite bite to it.
Wufei and Trowa sat on opposite sides of the small fire. Each of
them where lost in their own thoughts. Quatre was rolled up in
his blanket with Trowa's blanket thrown over that one. The cold
didn't affect Trowa like it did the exhausted mage. The
green-eyed scout looked over at the sleeping blond. Quatre's
face was relaxed in peaceful slumber, not bothered by dreams. He
looked so innocent like that. No one could have guessed that he
killed had four men that day. Trowa smile softly.
"He maintained the balefire almost three minutes. He's getting
stronger." Trowa said with something akin to pride in his voice.
Wufei glanced briefly at Quatre then resumed polishing his sword
with an oily cloth. He was mentally going over the battle yet
again. Each cut, parry and stab was reviewed; each stance and
placement of his feet was critiqued. He tried to figure out
where he could have been better, more smooth and deadly. He had
killed eleven men in less than three minutes. Great for anyone
else, merely average for Chang Wufei.
Trowa knew what Wufei was doing; he did it every time they had to
fight. Trowa didn't mind though. He knew that Wufei cared about
them, he just never felt the need to cover up his feelings about
his passion, or obsession was actually closer to the mark. Wufei
was the best person with a sword of any walking on the planet.
The only one left he had to beat was himself. Trowa didn't know
what would happen if that ever occurred.
"Do you suppose Heero found him?" Trowa couldn't get the actions
of the confessor out of his mind. The stunning events were
branded deep into all their memories.
"Of course he did." Wufei answered, his voice steady with
assurance. He had the utmost faith in the abilities of his
commander. Without that faith, he would have never followed
Heero. He stood up and sheathed his sword. "I'll take first
watch."
Trowa nodded and went to lie down next to Quatre. The ranger
knew the mage would be especially cold tonight, after expending
so much energy on the fight he would have a hard time generating
body heat for himself. Trowa was willing to share his.
It took Heero about two hours to find Duo. He followed the trail
of broken branches and crushed underbrush across the steep
mountainside to a grassy meadow with a bubbling stream running
through it. The lowering sun in front of him filtered though the
trees making the shadows long and casting an orange glow to the
scenery. Birds and insects filled the clear mountain air with
noise, blending with the trickling water. As he and Wing emerged
from the stand of fragrant aspens lining the opening, he saw
Shinigami grazing in the middle of it like the shadowmare didn't
have a care in the world. It was almost as if she wanted to be
seen, Heero mused.
His gaze swept across the meadow, noting the incredible view.
The meadow was on the side of the mountain, providing a
breathtaking scene of the valley below. The sunset would be
spectacular tonight, he thought dispassionately. Duo must be
near, if Shinigami was here. He dismounted from the white
stallion and proceeded to pull Wings saddle and bridle off. He
wasn't sure why, but he followed his instincts. Wing turned and
looked at him. Then, shaking his body like a dog, he trotted out
to where the shadowmare was feeding. The black mare raised her
head and looked at Wing. As Wing approached, she stretched her
neck and they touched noses. Satisfied, Shinigami looked over at
Heero then turned her head toward the west end of the meadow. He
followed her gaze and located a black figure with its back to
them, leaning against a single aspen near the stream.
Heero took his time walking over, stripping off his riding gloves
and jacket as he did. Absently he noted that this was the second
time Duo had fled to water. He didn't want to sneak up on the
confessor so he made sure that he made some noise. Duo didn't
turn to look at him as Heero came up to stand beside the tree
where he sat; he just cocked his head to the side, his eyes never
leaving the sunset.
"Its beautiful, isn't it?" Duo asked cheerfully, his voice
seemed normal now, and no longer the icy death knell that had
heralded divine retribution.
"Yes." Heero didn't take his gaze off of the confessor below him.
Duo seemed to be back to his old self, but Heero didn't trust
'seemed'.
"More people should look at them. Maybe if they did, they would
see the beauty in the world and stop trying to fill it with
ugliness." Duo went on, not caring if Heero answered him or not.
He needed to talk to somebody, anybody. "Hilde and I used to
watch sunsets all the time."
Heero sat down next to the young confessor, laying his jacket and
gloves next to him. He sensed that something was really
troubling him, and decided to listen. He was good at that.
Duo continued, not once looking at Heero, keeping his eyes fixed
on the distant horizon that was slowly dissolving into flame.
"We would meet each other a few nights a week at the river near
our village. She would have to sneak out because her father
would never have approved of me. He was the owner of the one
store in the village, which made them damn near royalty. I was
just this stupid orphan kid who refused to let anyone cut his
hair. But she liked me anyway." Duo chuckled softly at the
memory.
"I had the hugest crush on her. She was funny and smart and had
the most incredible smile. She would always laugh at my stupid
jokes and she would cheer me up if anything was bothering me."
Duo's face glowed softly in the setting sun, the memories
softening the heart-shaped face making him seem ten years old
again.
"She was one of those people who could light up a room just by
smiling."
"She was the first girl I had ever kissed. We started with
kissing each other good night. Then we would kiss each other
hello, and then soon we stopped seeing the sunsets because we
were too busy kissing. She made me feel things I had never felt
before. I knew it was love." Duo stopped. The sun was now
setting right on the tip of the ridge like a giant orange ball,
casting deep black shadows through the meadow. Crickets chirped
and stream continued to burble it's way down the mountain. Heero
just listened.
"I had everything all planned out. I would join the military and
become a famous general who would beat back Treize's army and
free our land. Then I would come back all triumphant and Hilde's
father would beg me to marry his daughter, because he would be
proud to have such a famous son-in-law. I must have really
looked like such a moron. I would walk around all day with this
big goofy grin on my face making these wild plans. People must
have thought I was half-witted or something." Duo shook his head
ruefully.
He continued the narration. "One night, it was a year after we
started seeing each other, I had stolen a bottle of wine to
celebrate. It was this horrible cheap stuff, but we drank it
anyway. It seemed to make us both too warm. So we started our
usual." he trailed off. "But never mind you probably see where
this is going. It was my first time with a girl. But it wasn't
quite what I had expected."
The sun was about halfway set now, and the air was turning
chilly. Heero could faintly see his breath and mist began to
fill the valley below. The shadows were getting deeper and soon
the birds stopped singing, just leaving the insects and the
stream to fill the silence. Duo drew his knees up to his chest
and wrapped his arms around them, he was faintly shivering, Heero
noted. Subtly he shifted over nearer to the confessor.
"When we had finished, we were laying there. I remember thinking
that was the most mind-blowing thing I had ever experienced.
Turned out I was right, for both of us." Duo's voice became
laced with pain. He swallowed, once, twice before he could
continue purging himself. He took a deep breath, trying to get
the next part out in a normal, conversational tone, but the force
of repressed emotions overwhelmed him and he lost control.
"I DIDN"T KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN!" He wailed. "OH! GODS! I
DIDN"T KNOW!" He gasped for breath after the outburst, his wide
eyes staring inward and his fists clenched tightly with buried
pain. Ruthlessly he clamped down on the urge to cry. Boys
didn't cry and he would be damned if he cried in front of Heero.
Heero, for his part didn't move a muscle, didn't even dare draw a
breath for fear of pushing Duo over the edge.
After a few minutes, Duo unclenched his hands and held one over
his trembling lips. He breathed through his nose, blinking
rapidly for a while then lowered his hand again. The sun was
almost all the way down. The sky was a dark orange and red, with
hues of indigo and blues further out. When Duo found his voice
again, it was low and thick when he went on.
"Apparently, when a confessor is in the heat of passion, the hold
on the power relaxes and it is released into the other person,
whether you mean it to or not. It was the first time I had used
it and it was on the woman I loved." Duo closed his eyes; he was
suddenly very tired, drained. But there was more. He wanted
Heero to know it all, so when it came time Heero would be
willing.
"At first I didn't know what was wrong. She just lay there, with
this EMPTY expression in her eyes. I tried to talk to her, but
all she would do is ask if she could please me, Master." Duo
remembered the cold knot that formed in the pit of his stomach as
he tried more and more frantically to get her to answer him the
way she used to. The dawning horror as what started as a
suspicion turned into awful certainty.
"I panicked. She tried to touch me and I jerked away telling her
not to touch me, as if it could be called back." Duo said in
self-contempt. "But of course it was far too late. She just
kept frantically trying to do anything please me, but finally I
just gestured and shouted 'go away!'" Duo's voice went flat. "I
had unknowingly pointed to the river." He closed his eyes; not
wanting to see the disgust he knew was on Heero's face.
"Before I knew what I had done, she ran and jumped in. I tried
to catch her but she was already gone. She didn't know how to
swim and the current was very fast. They found her body two days
later hung up in some deadfall downriver. I left town that day
and never went back, and since then I have avoided physical
contact with any other person until today. Now that you know
what I am, what I truly am, will you do me a favor. Will you
please kill me?" The sun was all the way down now. Just a glow
in the sky marked where it had been.
Heero was shocked. The confessor's story was sad, true, but
accidents happen. Duo obviously carried his fair share of guilt
in this thing, but he couldn't understand why he would want to
die.
Duo sensed Heero's confusion and turned his head, still not
looking at him. "You see, I am no better than that creature that
I torched earlier. Trieze is right you know, it would be better
if monsters like me were wiped off of the face of the world."
With a flash of insight, Heero knew what Duo needed. It wasn't
killing it was something else. Absolution.
"Duo, look at me."
Duo shook his head, keeping his gaze firmly on the ground.
Heero reached out and put two fingers under the confessor's chin.
He lifted them until Duo's head came up, but Duo kept is eyes
hooded.
"Look at me, please." Heero's voice was soft, but the tone
brooked no argument. Duo lifted his eyes and looked into
Heero's, violet meeting cobalt. The shades echoed by the
remnants of the sunset around them.
"Duo, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know, how could you?
There are no others like you, no one to teach you what you are.
You are very lucky to have gotten this far and still have your
sanity intact. You are a very strong person." Heero knew by the
widening eyes that his words were hitting their mark. He hoped
they would be enough. "The only monster I have seen is the one
you killed today."
Duo was stunned. Not only did Heero not turn away in disgust and
horror, he touched him with bare skin! Duo's senses were
reeling. And hearing Heero tell him that what had happened to
Hilde wasn't his fault was almost too much. He went back over
what Heero had said, searching for a way to make what he had said
wrong, but Heero wasn't wrong. Duo had killed Hilde, but it
wasn't like he had stabbed her with a knife. Duo hadn't known
what would happen. There was no way he could.
He drew a deep shuddering breath and felt a huge weight lift from
his chest; a weight he hadn't even known was there. Suddenly he
felt better. Better about everything.
He opened his mouth to tell Heero when he burst into tears
instead.
He felt Heero gather him up in his arms and slowly rock him. He
wept great wracking sobs, clinging to Heero and burying his face
in the muscular chest. He felt Heero stroking his hair.
Little by little, Duo got himself under control. He still hurt,
but the hurt felt cleaner, like he had been cut open and
something that was rotting inside him had been removed. But he
could still feel the sense of relief and comfort being held in
Heero's arms.
Heero had never held anyone like this before. The protectiveness
that rose up so powerfully inside of him almost took his breath
away. He stroked Duo's hair, marveling at the silkiness.
Gradually, Duo calmed down, the hitching breath evening out. He
expected Duo to pull away at anytime but he made no move to do
so. Then he realized the Duo had fallen asleep. He shifted the
exhausted confessor in his arms so that he would be more
comfortable and leaned back against the aspen. Resting his chin
on the top of the confessor's head, Heero watched the stars begin
to fill the sky.
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