(Dennis Proffitt DenRA/Exe.Director under Tent on Left,MA'KAI plays Music in Distance,SunChild (Donovan Frankenreiter) played next for Clean OceanWater in Santa Barbara,CA.
Photo Courtesy of: BRANDEN AROYAN
Dennis> Going back to the El nine storms that you went through. I know you got really close with the tree. That there was a certain spiritual connection between you and the tree, um which I'm sure there still is. Could you tell us what happened during that period?
Julia> Sure!, the winter storms for two ran pretty much really hard almost continuously for over two and half weeks. They were much longer than that, but the worst brunt of them was almost solid for two and half week's straight. Just one after the other, after the other, getting more intense, and more intense, and more intense. Culminating in a night where 70 mile an hour, and 75 mile an hour winds was the average and 90 mile hour gust. It ripped branches out of Luna. It not only broke them off, it ripped them out. One that was the size of my elbow to my fist was ripped out of trunk by these fierce winds.
My roof made of tarps was pretty much completely shredded. Hail and sleet were flying through the shredded tarps pummeling me I was wrapped in a tarp, trying to maintain some sanity in the insanity of the experience. And the gust, every time a new gust hit I got thrown because the platform was bucking all over the place. And the hardest one threw me about 3 feet. Part of me ended up under the hammock that had been turned into my office, and the other of me landed around a branch of Luna that came through the middle of the platform.
So I, I literally got quite close to Luna because of the winds. And I grabbed on to Luna and I began to pray. I prayed, and I was praying because I didn't want to die. I was trying to rationalize in my mind that I cannot think of a better way to die than living for what I believe in. Because so many people in life including myself die or almost die in horrible ways after only existing. In many occasions, more than one I've almost died. And at that time I was not really living. To live for something greater than myself, to live for what I believe in is such an incredible way to end my life, but at the same time I was still very attached to my life. I had been learning a constant lesson of letting go. Letting go of my attachments to my belongs, my comfort ability, my old life.
Everything that we take for granted I was learning to let go of and I thought I had pretty much conquered that battle and then I realize I still hadn't let go of my life. So, even as I am trying to rationalize thee potential of my death I was going "I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die." So, I began praying and asking for help and guidance. And I said Luna I wanna be strong for you, and I wanna be strong for the forest, but I can't even be strong for myself right now. And I was trying so hard just to hold on to life that my fist were clenched, my teeth were clenched, my mussels were clenched. Everything was clenched as tight as it possibly could be, as if I just clenched tight enough I could hold to my very existence. But it was driving me insane, it was the most intence experience I've ever had in my entire life.
Julia Butterfly Hill
Photo Courtesy of: Shaun Walker, Otter Media
Dennis Proffitt
Photo Courtesy of: Chris Meier
And Luna spoke to me. My answer to prayer was Luna speaking to me. Luna said, Julia think of the trees in the storm. And the image began flowing through me and as that image came to me Luna continue to speak.
She said, the trees in the storm Julia they know the power of letting go. They bend, they flow, the allow the wind to blow that how they make it through. The branches that try to hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for you to be strong Julia or you too will break. Learn the power of letting go, let it blow and let it flow, and know that's the way to make it through the storm and that is the way to make it through the storms of life.
And I did, I let go. Everything started unwinding my fist unclenched, my teeth unclenched, my mussels unclenched. And I spent the next (about) 13 hours of this storm laugh, howling and crying, sputtering, and mumbling and just going absolutely nuts. (laughing)
But in that process of letting go and allowing the wind to rage and raging right along with it I made it through a storm that I was absolutely, positively sure was about to take my life. And instead when this storm was done I was still alive, and I learn a lesson that will help guild me for the rest of my existence.
Dennis> That's a great story.
Julia> Yes, It makes me tear up every time I say it every time I tell it.
Dennis> Definitely is a learning experience.