Calisandra slid down from her four poster bed and walked barefoot over to the window. Sliding the drapes to two sides, sunlight streamed in to the dim chamber. The flowers shone with the sunlight's sparkle and the fountain's waters were glistening with each ripple. It seemed to be a beautiful day.
The gardens were the only place where she could truly be herself. Where she could be alone and not have someone come up to her and scold her for something she did. The birds and the insects were her friends.
Her only friends, it seemed. Sighing, Calisandra moved away from the window. She wouldn't let herself get into a self-pitying act, it wouldn't help her right now. She walked over to her dressing table and sat down. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Calisandra didn't know if she liked what she saw. She saw a girl with long black hair, large green eyes, slightly full mouth, and dark skin. She wasn't a beauty, she had come to accept it a long time ago when people had said that she didn't look anything like her mother. Her father constantly informed her on how she would never become a beauty like her deceased mother. It hurt. But that was another thing that she wasn't going to fool herself with. She was never going to win her father's love. No mattered how she tried, she would never live up to his imaginary expectations.She picked up a brush and ran it through her tangled hair. Thoughts of last night came back to her in a rush. Calisandra could almost feel his hand stroking her hair, stroking her face. The brush went back down on the mahogany table.
Oh God, she couldn't think of him; she just couldn't. If she let herself wish, she knew something would come and take it away from her. Even as those thoughts ran through her head, other thoughts came unbidden through them. The color of his hair, his eyes.....The way he had looked at her in the dark. The way he touched her....NO! Calisandra pushed the chair back and swiftly rose from the table. She wouldn't think of it. She couldn't. He couldn't just come into her life and disrupt everything that she had held dear. Her pale pink nightgown swayed against her bare legs as she paced the carpeted floor. Her unclad feet made soft little pats on the ground as she moved from the bed to the closet. Back and forth. Calisandra pushed her hair out of her face and abruptly sat down on her bed. She drew up her knees and hugged them to her chest.
She wanted to care for him. She wanted to take him in her arms and just hold him until whatever was lurking behind those indescribable eyes would go away.
She wanted.... She didn't know what she wanted.Calisandra glanced at the window. She just wished that things would just fall into place. She wished she had an answer. She moved away from the bed. She had to escape this place at least for a little while. She just had to.