Don't Let Go -a work of YYH fan fiction Part 1 --------------------------------------- "KURAMAAA!!!" Hiei's eyes widened in horror as he saw his lover throw himself forward, taking the blow that was meant for him. "NOOOO!!!" He screamed, gritting his teeth in pain as he tried to struggle to his feet. Anguish gripped him as he watched Kurama's frail human body falter against the surge of raw power. Tears began streaming down his face, all the tears he'd never allowed himself to shed, crystallizing and falling unnoticed to the ground.Kurama threw back his head and met Hiei's stricken gaze. His beautiful emerald eyes were glazed with pain, but even so, the youko's gaze was steady and filled with love. His lips formed a silent whisper. "Aishiteru...itooshii..." Hiei staggered up, desperation spurring him on. <...I can't lose you....> He lurched forward and stumbled, his injured leg balking, nearly falling back to his knees. He stretched out a trembling hand, reaching for his lover, the other half of himself. Kurama met him halfway, their hands touching and clasping for one heartbreaking moment, before a blinding light flared around Kurama's body. Hiei felt Kurama's hold loosen, his hand becoming insubstantial, and tightened his own grip. He saw Kurama close his eyes and disappear. "KURAMAAAA!!!" Hiei collapsed, red eyes dull, uncaring of the youkai coming towards him. His insides ached, that part of himself that Kurama had filled with his love throbbed with painful emptiness. Kurama was GONE; he had nothing left to live for. Shouts and running footsteps, a bellow of surprise and pain. Hiei couldn't even make himself feel angry at their tardiness. "Rei Gun!" "Rei Ken!" Hiei wrapped his arms tightly about himself, tuning out the sounds of the battle raging around him. Kurama was GONE. He bent his head and let out a keening cry of loss. * * * * * A tall, slim form detached itself from the shadows beneath the trees. Gleaming violet eyes watched the little youkai with malicious enjoyment. It unconsciously tightened its hold on the small bundle it carried. It squirmed in protest. The figure turned its attention towards its burden, and smiled. * * * * * Yuusuke cast a troubled look at Hiei. His friend was too quiet, too still. All traces of the snarling, bad-tempered youkai he'd gotten used to had disappeared. Hiei just lay curled up beneath a tree, staring through Kuwabara, ignoring everything the red-haired young man was doing. Yuusuke remembered looking into the youkai's eyes and shuddered. Those red orbs had been lifeless and empty; it was like looking into a hollowed shell. Nobody had been home. Kuwabara finally gave up trying to get through to Hiei. With a muffled oath, he surged to his feet and walked over to Yuusuke. "K'so, he won't snap out of it!" Kuwabara growled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and glaring at the ground. "Shit! I still can't believe Kurama's dead." "We should've gotten here sooner." Yuusuke kicked a small stone, sending it flying into the surrounding trees. "Dammit! We never should've separated." Yuusuke looked back at Hiei. He hadn't moved; he was still lying there, eyes blankly staring at nothing at all. Yuusuke whipped his head around. He couldn't bear to look at his friend's condition. Eyes burning, he stumbled into the woods, shaking off Kuwabara's concerned hands. He needed to be alone, to come to terms with his guilt and grief. * * * * * Kuwabara stared after Yuusuke, watching as the smaller man lost himself in the woods around them. His hands clenched into fists at his side. This shouldn't have happened, _none_ of this should've happened. God, they'd only been up against a few A-class youkai. It should've been just a routine job. How could things have gone so drastically wrong? He swiped the tears from his eyes. He couldn't believe that his friend was truly gone. Kurama had always been such a good fighter, always so careful. Shit, he'd always expected that _he'd_ be the first to fall. Turning around, Kuwabara cast a brooding eye at the fallen fire demon. The relationship between the two had never been what people would call friendly. He stared at Hiei; the youkai looked awful. He seemed more than half-dead himself, lying there, not moving at all. Bending down, Kuwabara scooped him up into his arms. Small black pearls fell from Hiei's clothing, coming to rest with the others already on the ground. Another pearl rolled down Hiei's chest. Kuwabara involuntarily caught it in his fist. < _TEAR GEMS?!_ But he's not a koorime...> <_Is_ he?> Deeply disturbed, Kuwabara looked at the small youkai he carried. Hiei's head had fallen back, hanging limply against him, bringing his face into stark relief. Kuwabara stared deep into those empty eyes... * * * * * He was lost in a sea of loneliness and pain. Rage and despair such as he had never felt before battered at his unprotected mind. Kuwabara screamed, his voice blending with the wailing of the wind. Desperately, he put up a kekkai around himself, blocking the painful sensations washing over him. As the attack abruptly ceased, he opened his eyes and looked around. He was floating in a blackness so deep he thought, for one panicked moment, that he'd been struck blind. Gradually, he began to notice a faint light illuminating a region before him. He moved closer, and the scene resolved itself into a lifeless wilderness of ice. Deep in the center of the barren wasteland, he could see a small figure huddled on the ground. Its arms were wrapped around itself and its head was flung back, mouth open, howling its grief. <_Hiei?!_> * * * * * Kuwabara tore his gaze from the youkai's, shaking off the vision he'd just had. He realized with a start that he was breathing hard, almost as if he'd been running for miles. He stared at Hiei in shock. Moving quickly, Kuwabara ran through the woods, heading for Genkai's temple and the young koorime living there. His little trip into Hiei's mind had made a few things perfectly clear to him. Hiei had _more_ than returned Kurama's feelings, and if _he_ didn't get help soon, the youkai would follow Kurama in death. * * * * * Yukina sat on the futon, Hiei's head resting on her lap, her brow creased with worry. She'd always known, deep inside, that this young demon was her brother. Though he often denied it, he couldn't conceal the concern he'd always felt for her welfare. She'd felt hope that one day, he would acknowledge her as his sister. But now... She stroked his hair, softly crooning his name, trying to call him back. She'd been shocked at his condition when Kuwabara had brought him in, at a loss to diagnose his illness, until she'd heard about Kurama's death. Then everything became painfully clear. She gently covered him with a light blanket and pulled him closer. She'd been able to heal her brother's physical wounds, but she knew of nothing that could heal his heart. A tear slid down her cheek, instantly forming into a priceless jewel. As Yukina snuggled closer to her brother, the hiruiseki fell unnoticed to the floor. * * * * * Kuwabara bit his lip in frustration, watching the little koorime cradle her comatose twin. Yukina hadn't been able to rouse Hiei, and he couldn't think of anything else to try. Screwing his eyes shut, he began to pound his fist against the wall. A commotion outside the temple pierced his thoughts. Turning around, he saw Koenma striding in, Botan and Yuusuke following at his heels. "What're you doing here Koenma?" he asked belligerently. "Hiei's not dead yet." Koenma winced. "I know." Kuwabara felt faintly ashamed at his surliness. He _knew_ Koenma cared about the youkai too. Looking down at the floor, he mumbled an apology. "It's alright, Kuwabara-kun. I understand." He sighed heavily. "Anyway, that's not the reason I came here." "So why did you come?" Yuusuke asked quietly. Koenma looked at him gravely. Worry clouded his brown eyes. "Kurama's soul is missing." Kuwabara stared at the young demi-god in shock. "How could that have happened?!" Yuusuke demanded. Botan burst into tears. "I don't know!" she sobbed, looking miserable. "I didn't want to, but I came to lead him away, but then," she sniffed loudly. "his soul just wasn't _there_!" "But where could it have gone?" Kuwabara asked, confused. "He couldn't have reincarnated so quickly...." He looked around at his friends. "_Could_ he?" Koenma chewed on his pacifier, thinking furiously. "He _has_ done it before...But that just doesn't _seem_ right somehow," he continued unhappily. "I feel like we're missing something..." "I just don't know _what_..." * * * * * "...Kurama's soul is missing..." The words whirled through the icy wastes in Hiei's mind. The weeping figure slowly lifted its head. "...reincarnated..." "...done it before..." Hope began to thaw the ice surrounding the fire demon's heart. Green and black flames melted the icy landscape. The small figure rose to his feet. * * * * * "Oniisan!" All heads whirled around at Yukina's glad cry. Hiei's eyes fluttered open, a confused frown creasing his brow before he recognized his whereabouts. He spared a fleeting moment to wonder how Yukina had discovered his true identity, then shrugged it off as being insignificant at the moment. He had more pressing matters to attend to. He quickly sat up, his eyes seeking and locking onto Koenma's. The young god was shocked at the anguished hope that flared in those crimson depths. "Is it possible?" Hiei demanded, gripping the edges of the blanket tightly to conceal his trembling hands. " _Could_ Kurama still be alive?" Koenma fidgeted under that searing gaze. "It's possible that he could have reincarnated. But..." Hiei grew dangerously still. "_But?_" Koenma stared down at his feet. "Something just doesn't feel right about this whole mess." Kuwabara scratched at his head. "What, like someone planned it or something?" Yuusuke's eyes widened in sudden realization. "That would explain why those youkai split up like that. They were just _distracting_ us, to get us away from Kurama! Dammit! I can't believe I fell for it!" Hiei threw off the blanket covering him, reaching for his sword. "Oniisan, you need to rest! Please don't get up yet," Yukina pleaded. Hiei looked down at her, his red eyes softening for one infinitesimal second. He was inordinately glad that she still cared for him, even knowing that he'd lied to her about who he was. "I _have_ to find him, Yukina," he said quietly, emotion roughening his voice. "He is my life." Straightening up, he wrapped his cloak about him and buckled on his sword. In a flicker of black wind, he was gone. * * * * * Hiei dropped down into the little woodland clearing, steeling himself against the memories of the morning's disaster. Ripping off the strip of cloth covering his Jagan, he began scouring the area, looking for any sign that Kurama had survived. After hours of fruitless searching, he detected faint traces of a strangely familiar youki behind one of the trees surrounding the battle site. A prickle of uneasiness traveled down his spine. He shook his head, trying to shrug it off, and caught sight of a few wispy strands of red hair tangled in the bushes underneath the tree. He reached out for them with a trembling hand. Kurama's essence, so achingly familiar, washed over him. Clenching his fist tightly around the strands, he closed his eyes and shuddered convulsively. Grimly, Hiei re-warded his Jagan. Casting one last anguished look at the clearing, he took off, heading back to Genkai's temple. * * * * * Yukina raised her head, turning to face the entrance of the temple. "Oniisan's coming back!" she cried excitedly, putting down her tea cup. The others followed suit, setting down their cups and waiting expectantly for Hiei to arrive. They didn't have to wait long. The youkai flickered into view, clutching something in his small hand. Yukina ran to his side. "Oniisan, did you find him?" she asked, lightly touching his arm. Hiei's clenched fist tightened imperceptively, before he slowly shook his head. Yuusuke's shoulders slumped dejectedly, and Botan hid her face in her hands. Koenma gently stroked her hair, offering what comfort he could. Hiei opened his hand. "This was all I could find." Yukina peered into his open palm. Inside, she saw a few wispy strands of red hair. After looking to her twin for permission, she picked one up and studied it. She gave a little gasp of surprise. "What is it, Yukina-san?" Kuwabara asked her worriedly. She raised her stunned gaze. "This is Kurama-kun's..." "And?" he prompted. "But it's _baby_ hair." Kuwabara gave a relieved smile. "Then he must've reincarnated like we thought." Yukina shook her head. "You don't understand, Kazuma-san." "Huh?" "This is _Minamino Shuuichi's_ hair." "But his body died...didn't it?" Hiei closed his hand protectively around the silky strands. "I guess not." "If Kurama's been turned into a baby again..." Yuusuke began. Hiei looked at him. "He'll be vulnerable." "_Shimatta!_"